To be really upset to read on MN

[shootingstarz]

That parents are going without food because they can?t afford to feed their kids.

Have read the whole thread
I can offer jeans in size 14 and 16 and also brand new bras (labelled 34J) but more like 34H. Happy to post just PM me
If anyone is in Preston and needs food/help again just PM me

I think this happens frequently. In the bad old days I frequently skipped breakfast and lunch most days to make the weekly shop go further.

I was working full time as well - earning just too much to be eligible for housing benefit or anything else. God only knows how people in that position manage these days.

OK, I was trying to hold off until reading through, but I've got to Friday 23rd and have to post now.

Road tax - yet another example of where living costs are higher for the less well off. Can't afford your road tax? You don't have the benefit of off road parking? Tough you have to pay. And if your car fails its MOT you have to sort that too. Your wealthier neighbour with a driveway, who can declare their car off the road, doesn't. Fair?

MadameChinLegs and others should be ashamed that people are on this thread actually justifying themselves to you! Internet access and cars - well with no internet AND no car many many people would be totally stuffed. I suspect the internet is rather the cheaper of the two. To use internet in the library you have to be able to GET to the library no? It is also many people's only real contact with the outside world since it costs so darned much to go anywhere and do anything.

No doubt more to come...

the problem that i can see is that the benefits system is fixed but claimants needs are variable.

e.g. the system is not designed to fund a car, because not all claimants need a car but it might be necessary for someone.

This thread isn't specifically about 'the benefits system' or 'claimants', though, Tilly. There are several posts from people who are working and are unable to afford an adequate diet.

This was me until a few months ago. (Earning less than £15,000 a year, paying for pre/after school childcare, in receipt of minimal working tax credits, not eligible for free school meals, council tax benefit, not receiving any money from exH for child support.) This is the reality for many workers in Britain - and not just people earning NMW either.

I posted right at the start of this thread about having a Marmite drink for breakfast and lunch for the last 7-10 days of each month, ie. the lead up to payday. I am an excellent budgetter, have no expensive/unhealthy habits, etc. but still I couldn't afford to feed two of us for 30 days a month, every month.

i have two relatives who live comfortably on benefits and have done for years (about 30 yrs between them. one of them worked for app. 2yrs maybe 5 yrs ago)

i have a cousin & a friend who get in work benefits. their experiences are very different than on MN. if i suggested to them they did not having enough to eat they would think i was being insulting.

this morning i was talking with a colleague who was unemployed for 9 months & thought the system was fine for him & his family.

if some people have an acceptable experience and others go hungry, understanding the reason for the difference seems highly important.

Glad everything is fine in your world then, Tilly.

Yep, I do a nice weekly shop at the beginning of the month then its cheese/beans on toast and pasta and pesto for the rest of the month for me. My daughter doesn't go without though which is what's important. I'm lucky to be given lunch at work, so I stock up at lunch time :)

Tilly - are your relatives living in council housing? I think that is a major difference here. When we were struggling 60% of my pay was going in rent and travelling to work. And this is definitely not just about the unemployed on benefits. I would argue this situation is MORE likely to affect the working poor.

We're in Notts. If anyone can put 12month ish sized girls clothes to good use let me know

Tilly might also like to consider that people in this situation may not advertise the fact and may appear, on the surface, to be managing adequately. I'm certain none of my colleagues knew how dire my straits were. Why would I tell them? I would be particularly cautious of discussing my situation with anyone who believed that benefits gave you a 'comfortable' life.

I think you're right, Gaelic. My entire take home salary went on housing costs, utilities, insurances (car and house). I would literally have nothing left when all my direct debits went out after payday. Tax credits of around £70/week had to cover travel costs to work (around £25-30), school dinners, clothes and food. DD needing a pair of school shoes would throw all my careful budgeting into disarray.

Yes we were similar OnceHomeless (although thankfully not ever actually homeless). We had exhorbitant heating costs for a freezing, uninsulated house in the coldest part of the country, with storage "heaters", in winter. Once those were taken account of, plus council tax, there was barely enough for food. But of course I did not advertise the fact. People noticed I was losing weight but they, and even I, put it down to losing baby weight which is was, but not entirely. I shrunk out of the clothes I'd had to buy after having DS (because I couldn't yet fit back in my old ones), but couldn't afford any others so had to pin skirts with safety pins to stop them falling down - carefully hidden of course. That was when I wished I had sewing skills!

Even now, when we're much better off, I still regularly need to disguise clothing deficiencies as I can afford new ones only in dire emergencies. Sure people on benefits have it bad, but I think the working poor (and the "on the face of it" not so poor) are the hidden victims that nobody cares about.

Just adding my story really, I have read the whole thread, but lurking until now.

DH and I both work. I was made redundant while pregnant with DD and as a result went back to work when she was 6 weeks old. As that was when I was lucky enough to find a new job.

DH and I between us bring in a decent wage, I do need to work but as long as I am working we can get along OK.

January 2010 our (pedigree, of course ) dog got sick. She started having seizures. So we took her to the vet, got the appropriate treatment, yada yada. Wiped our meagre savings, but that was what they were there for.

Then she got really sick. We thought it was related to her seizures but it wasn't. Ended up with a nearly £500 vet bill and a dead dog.

Then my work cancelled overtime.

And my credit card repayments went up.

I missed a couple, so the charges started wracking up as well as the bank charges.

It has taken me nearly 18 months to get back to where we were. At one point I was paying out nearly a third of my wages in bank charges.

And I am guessing that the 2000 ish MNers who PM'd me for my cheapo meal plan didn't think me feckless with money, although at the time I had some nasty comments from RL 'friends' who thought I was just bad at managing money.

So, yeah, it doesn't take much. And yes I have missed meals to make sure my family were fed.

You're right it only takes a run of bad luck to totally kipper your finances .

I wanted to add that I personally don't think having to make do and mend makes us poor - far from it. But what gets me is there are so many people out there, seemingly, who just don't know they're born. Who think nothing of spending £100 or much much more on clothes a month, who will buy a new top or a new pair of shoes without thinking about it, who can afford loads of make up, etc. etc. That seems to be the norm now, making people like me who are working their socks off - AND now bringing in a pretty good wage - wonder where we're going wrong.

I completely agree with you gaelic

My parents were "working poor" when I was growing up.

Council house tennants, both in FT but low paid jobs (although my dad is a skilled worker). It really makes me angry when people assume that if you live in a council house you are on benefits and dont work!!

My parents only ever got CB (family allowance as it was called back then) So even though there was never enough money for clothes/food etc we werent classed as "poor enough" for any other help.

We had one holiday as children when I was 10 - 2 weeks to Ireland to see my mums family. Thats it.

My dad cycled 10 miles to work and back every day. Then he got a motorbike and when I was 14 passed his driving test as he need to be able to drive to look for another job.

He was made redudant twice in the 1980s, and all the savings they had were used up then. Then my mum needed 2 major abdominal surgeries and couldnt work.

I always think "there but for the grace of God" because I know how bloody easy it is for everything to go wrong very quickly.

The other thing, of course, is that low paid workers who live hand to mouth, from payday to payday, usually have no savings whatsoever. There simply is NO financial cushion if the unexpected happens.

I used to know a CAB worker who had to give up his job because it depressed the fuck out of him having to tell people who were trying to make ends meet by working that they'd be better off on benefits and if they kicked their partner out to become a single parent (the same advice a family member was given).
That was years ago - must be far worse now. :(

Thumbwitch. That being the case why the hell don't people, not least the Government, recognise the existence of the working poor? Not to mention the working really-shouldn't-be-poor-but-are-because-of-ridiculous-private-rents-and-petrol-costs? I suspect it is an uncomfortable truth that they just don't want to face because they don't give a shit haven't a clue what to do about it.

I can't believe how badly off some working poor are - and I'm talking people with decently paid jobs. If you just miss the level for one kind of support you are well and truly shafter. I'm finding this out with university fees but it is nothing in comparison with deciding if you as the parents eat properly today.

I'm near south of) Ashford Kent if I can provide a few tinned goods/lifts to anyone. Do pm me. And don't feel embarrassed - it's the government in the wrong. They really should be ashamed that they are putting people in situations like this.

Thumbwitch - I have found this. Because I had the audacity to actually live with the father of my unborn child, who was actually working, we were in a situation were we couldn't cover our outgoings. If he had left me or jacked in his job we would have been far better off.

Awful, isn't it - and yet supposedly (ha!) this Govt is all for the "family" (double ha!). :( :(

I've just read this thread, my cousin's wife having pointed it out to me. I've alternated between furious anger, sadness and 'lump in throat' emotion... the latter for all those lovely people who are helping out those they don't know.. the government could learn a lot from them..thank you..
I've been lucky that support from my parents has meant that I've never had to make the choice of food or bills..but sometimes, yes, bills haven't been paid if I've needed the money for emergency - pair of shoes for DC, school uniform etc. I am well aware however that it's a reality I've only just avoided.
I live in Portsmouth, so if there's anyone local who's struggling to get out or needs help/support (not necessarily financial) then feel free to message me... I'm very aware that having no money is incredibly isolating....
I've not gone into my situation on here, because a) it'd take too long and b) I'm aware that really I'm fortunate in so many ways but I'm def an example of how appearances can be deceiving.

Hi all, I do believe that this is happening. I spend a lot of food and it gets eaten at a frightening rate leaving me short sometimes. DD unfortunately wastes food although I am trying to get her out of that habit.

Thing is, poor people end up in debt because there is nothing to spare for emergencies. Then yo uhave less every week because the only places you can borrow money from charge about 500% interest, but you have to borrow sometimes, because shit happens - either your income is fucked up because of some sort of 'admininstative error' or your cooker blows up or your DC wreck their only pair of shoes or something. So you can end up quite easily in a position where you have £5 and you have to choose between feeding the electric meter, the gas meter, your travel pass, or food;. It costs to be broke. If you are reasonably OK, you can leave off paying the gas or electricity for a few weeks and all you will get is a nasty letter. If you are longterm poor and on a key meter, if you don't put money on it, you have no gas/electricity. So you sit in the dark and wash in cold water and try to make it an 'adventure' for the DC. You try to walk as many journeys as possible, but there are limits to how far small DC can walk, even if you try to make it fun and a game. You find yourself shouting at the DC when they want an extra biscuit or snack, because you've worked out exactly how much food there is left till the next bit of money comes in. And you're paralysed - almost everything you can think of to do can't be done until there's more money.