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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Ungrateful, spoilt, presumptious, self-entitled......

87 replies

bjf1 · 20/03/2012 20:17

and I'm not talking about a bratty teenager, either. This is a 46 year old -adult-.
Dh's birthday next week and I asked him what he would like from me and the DCs. He informed me that he had his eye on a specific item and had "bookmarked it for me on my laptop"
I was a bit surprised to say the least because it was quite pricey (£125.00), slightly more than I had in mind, and I felt a bit Shock that he had actually bookmarked it. This slapped, I felt, of greed. I mean, it's not like a milestone birthday, not like a 50th for example. And, in the present financial climate, especially mine, a bit much.

Anyway, I mulled it over for a few days, then thought OK, anticipating his delight when he unwrapped it on the day.
It was delivered today (quite large) and he was home when it arrived so I couldn't hide it from him.
So, I took it out of the box and stood back, waiting for him to thank me for my generosity. He opened his mouth and......
1st, it wasn't the exact same colour as in the picture.
2nd, it wasnt as good quality as he was expecting.
3rd, he didn't think it was going to be big enough.
"It'll do", were his exact words.
I feel gutted, and cannot believe how I have managed to bag myself someone who is so bloody ungrateful, insensitive, self-entitled.
I am not even going to ask if IABU to let this bother me, just need to rant.
Oh, and when I asked him to jokingly guess what was in the box, he said he knew what it was, because that is what he had told me he wanted. Just bloody assumed I would get it. Did'nt even have the bloody decency to pretend suprise, or say thankyou.
Wish I'd just got him a cheap box of chocs now!
TWATAngry

OP posts:
PurplePidjin · 20/03/2012 20:21

Send it back and get him an Oxfam goat!

skybluepearl · 20/03/2012 20:21

return it?

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 20/03/2012 20:21

Send it back. Ungrateful fucker.

Convict224 · 20/03/2012 20:21

May I be the first to suggest that you leave the bastard?

bobbledunk · 20/03/2012 20:22

Can you send it back and get a refund? Buy yourself something nice that will be appreciated and teach that ungrateful little bastard a lesson, he deserves nothingShock.

curiositykitten · 20/03/2012 20:23

Definitely return it. Preferably in a different box so you can wrap the original up for his birthday (empty).

RuleBritannia · 20/03/2012 20:23

When you order things on line, it's called distance buying and you have every right to return something if it's not liked or doesn't fit or not as expected etc.

slobberychops · 20/03/2012 20:23

I would have been tempted to hit him with it

Snowboarder · 20/03/2012 20:24

I need to know what it was

chunkythighs · 20/03/2012 20:24

return it and use the money to get yourself a nice treat that you will appreciate Grin.

mrsmellow · 20/03/2012 20:26

Dammit, I wanted to be first to suggest she leave the bastard!

I'm in two minds - does he normally buy things he wants anyway? in which case I'd be pleased that he waited to get it for his birthday, but annoyed that he was so ungrateful. If it was something he might have bought anyway, I'd maybe have gotten it and something v small as as surprise.

Don't be gutted - if you'd thought of the gift yourself, done all the research and made it , then that would be fair - but this isn't personal!

ooer · 20/03/2012 20:27

What RuleBritannia said.

"That was a lot of money for me, DH, you've made it clear it's not quite what you want and so I would be much happier sending it back."

lurkinginthebackground · 20/03/2012 20:29

YANBU.
I would be fuming too.

MyCatIsAStupidBastard · 20/03/2012 20:31

I do believe that he would find it returned in short order in this house

Seriously, there would have been a bloody major row over that reaction.

But, what RuleBritannia said is probably the best way to go (the way I would in NO WAY be able to go though!)

Stratters · 20/03/2012 20:33

Ungrateful fucker.

DDs now only give their father a card. After many, many years of behaviour like this, they have given up and refuse to buy him presents.

His loss. I am sorry your DH could be heading that way although it works out a damn sight cheaper.

ISpyPlumPie · 20/03/2012 20:34

If it wasn't for the fact that the ages don't tally I'd wonder if you were married to my ex as this the type of self-entitled,super-prescritive bolleux he was prone to sprouting when it came to gifts. Just one of the many reasons he is now my ex. Of course YANBU.

pinkyp · 20/03/2012 20:36

I think it's time you book marked a new iPad 3 on his laptop as YOUR birthday present & burst into tears if you don't get it. Grin

NormanTheForeman · 20/03/2012 20:37

It's the way he said it tbh - if he had said "Awww, what a shame, it's not what I was expecting! I'm so sorry after you've gone to all the effort to buy me exactly what I wanted. Would you mind if we exchange it?" then that would have been fine. But he seems to have no appreciation of the effort you took to buy what he wanted even though it was a bit pricey.

Original poster
bjf1 · 20/03/2012 20:37

I did suggest sending it back whilst he was bemoaning the "ever so slight "colour difference. That was when he replied, whilst reading the paper, "It'll do".
And I did spend a LOT of time searching for it online. Apparently, the particular one he had ever so kindly bookmarked for me was last year's model and was now discontinued. I searched online for it for hours but no luck, so had to get this years model which was slightly different (but not much), better quality, and more money.

Oh, and for those who were wondering what it was......a golf bag.
I honestly thought, at one stage when he saw it, he was going to have a Betty Boderick tantrum on me.
Arse!

OP posts:
Coconutty · 20/03/2012 20:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

poinsetta · 20/03/2012 20:41

keep the golf bag and send him back..

Original poster
bjf1 · 20/03/2012 20:41

pinkyp, at christmas he did ask me what I wanted. I replied it would make me very happy to receive a nice card, chocolates and a small token from the DCs.
My netbook had just died and I thought it would be "greedy" of me to ask for a new one.
I am such a prat.

OP posts:
Original poster
bjf1 · 20/03/2012 20:43

Let's just say I won't be making this mistake again.
Father's Day is going to be homemade cards from the DCs and that's all.
See how bloody ungrateful he can be over that.

OP posts:
Panamama · 20/03/2012 20:43

Go tell him you're upset and explain why, he deserves to hear he's being an ungrateful sod.

travailtotravel · 20/03/2012 20:44

No, definately send it back. You said it yourself. Entitled.

A lesson is required, me thinks.

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