Annoyed by friend's cheering up tactics

[ClaireFromWork]

I have a friend who, whenever the proverbial hits the fan, will send texts and saccharin photos of her DC doing something (e.g. on a swing, dressing up, choc smeared over face, smiling cutely). Now I am very fond of the DC in question but something about this irks me.

Last Friday I had a car crash (some idiot ploughed through a red light at a crossroad and went right into the drivers side, where I was) and was at home the next day just recovering and feeling quite shaken and tearful. Not really able to cope with my own kids and DH was trying to keep them calm and quiet, taking them out so I could just recover and get myself back together.

Friend texts me with "Hope ur OK. Here's a pic to cheer you up LOL" and there's a pic her DC going down a slide together.

Now I'm fond of her DC and really enjoy their company, but why does she think that when I'm feeling crappola I have any interest in cheesy pics of them.

I'd much prefer that she bloody well rang me and actually asked me how I was properly. It is now at the point that I dread her texts whenever something lairy's gone on because it puts me in a position of having to coo and ahhh over the cuteness of her DC when in actual fact I'm in a totally different place at that point.

Suspect a flaming coming as it's AIBU, but be gentle as I still feel bashed up.

YABU. But at least she tries.

Sorry that should read YANBU. It is annoying, but she makes an effort.

How odd! Hope you have recovered, were you injured?

YANBU. This would annoy me too. I know she is trying to be nice, but the way she is going about it, is almost as if your actual feelings don't matter.

YANBU- it's a bit vom-inducing that she thinks her kids are so wuvwy that a pic of them in a fairly ordinary situation will make the nasty car-crash all better. AND because you can't possibly tell her you'd rather she just phone to see how you are than send a cutesie pic of the DC, or she'd never speak to you again.

YANBU I'm sure your friend's heart is in the right place but that would annoy me- like saying no matter how you feel, a picture of her kids have the ability to make it better.

Sounds to me like she doesn't really know how to deal with people who are having problems. Maybe she's been lucky and avoided having anything dramatic happen in her life? Or maybe she likes to just shut out the bad things in life?

On the other hand sympathy can be a drag too. I've buggered up my knee and all anyone asks about me now is "how's your knee?" and that is the extent of my life in their eyes. I like my friends who ignore the problem!

YAB (a little bit) U

Btw, hope you're ok and recovered!

I am just wondering if I am your friend! I have done this to cheer up a friend before...

How odd! Hope you have recovered, were you injured?

YANBU but I did do this to my sister when she was in early labour. A picture of her nephew with his thumbs up thought it'd be good. Not quite the same as friends dc after a car crash though. Hope you're ok.

I'm fine now thanks! Better than the car, certainly!

VS - I'd agree that she has had form for not coping (she was spectacularly hopeless last year when my mum was ill), although she'd prob deny that. She's had life problems (haven't we all) but deals with it via counselling rather than friends IMO.

Any tactics for making it stop? So far I've ignored them only responding about me rather than commenting on cutesy pic no.47.

FetchezLaVache - PMSL at "wuvwy"

First reply: Thanks for the picture but I think you sent me that one last week.

Quickly followed by: Sorry, it wasn't the same one, they just look the same.

comedycentral - ooops

OP - this is one up from those who try to top your misery with their worse experience.

Or the ones who say I know how you feel, etc. yadda yadda.

Say thanks for the lovely pix, but can we speak soon?

Get better soon, OP.

Invite her round for vodka coffee, maybe you'll be able to get a better response face to face.

That would irritate me too. Odd too, seeing as you have your own kids as well.

YANBU.

Hope you are feeling less shaken.

I agre with Vagminalstyle

And glad your OK :)

at misspell of my name! I'll never watch the octonauts without laughing again!

I noticed Sorry, I'm a bit poor of sight and read what I want to read at times. So now I'm reading Vag where is Veg. Mind in gutter today then!

That would annoy me too!

I would just ignore. When she does something you appreciate (like a phonecall) then make a point of thanking her and being appreciative. Think positive reinforcement always works best!

Either this is a rare thing and therefore perhaps slightly odd but not a massive deal and ignorable
or
It happens often enough to be annoying.
If the latter then i would think that a more pressing issue is how often "the proverbial hits the fan" for you, how often you require cheering up.

Perhaps she feels you are needy and dramatic and this is her way of letting you know she gets thet you're 'feeling crapola' but without getting dragged into a cycle of negativity.

Text back a photo of the crushed car, or you lying on the sofa looking stressed.

Can see how it would be annoying, but she is trying to be nice...

Treadwarily - v.v. funny! Sooo tempted.

LFB - "cycle of negativity". Hmmmm. You're a bit left of centre with that one I'm afraid.