Annoyed by friend's cheering up tactics

[ClaireFromWork]

I have a friend who, whenever the proverbial hits the fan, will send texts and saccharin photos of her DC doing something (e.g. on a swing, dressing up, choc smeared over face, smiling cutely). Now I am very fond of the DC in question but something about this irks me.

Last Friday I had a car crash (some idiot ploughed through a red light at a crossroad and went right into the drivers side, where I was) and was at home the next day just recovering and feeling quite shaken and tearful. Not really able to cope with my own kids and DH was trying to keep them calm and quiet, taking them out so I could just recover and get myself back together.

Friend texts me with "Hope ur OK. Here's a pic to cheer you up LOL" and there's a pic her DC going down a slide together.

Now I'm fond of her DC and really enjoy their company, but why does she think that when I'm feeling crappola I have any interest in cheesy pics of them.

I'd much prefer that she bloody well rang me and actually asked me how I was properly. It is now at the point that I dread her texts whenever something lairy's gone on because it puts me in a position of having to coo and ahhh over the cuteness of her DC when in actual fact I'm in a totally different place at that point.

Suspect a flaming coming as it's AIBU, but be gentle as I still feel bashed up.

she obviously thinks everybody must love her child as much as she does a wee bit odd imo YANBU , she could text you or phoned to have an adult chat to see how you are , not sure how you can stop her sending these cheesey pic though

Oh God, I am cringing for your friend. How embarrassing that she thinks that seeing pics of her dc being cute is going to cheer you up.

Sarcalogos - I know she is which makes it worse because I do feel like a total bitch for not taking it how she means it.

I was going to suggest the same as treadwarily, so another vote for that. :o

lowflyingbirds thats that solved then. you have read a considerable amount into not much information. how very intuitive of you.
Now onto world peace, your suggestions. perhaps if we were all a little less dramatic and needy...

Text back "Aww thanks for the pic but even looking at pictures of MY kids isn't cheering me up at the moment!"

Do it, do it...

Well, glad to be off the mark with my suggestion as that means you arent getting these annoying pictures very often at all.

What is it 2,3 times a year? Easily ignorable. Or do as treadwarily suggests!

If you don't like how she responds in a crisis, then why do you tell her about them?

At least wait a few days, when she may not feel the need to cheer you up, and if she does you are in a better frame of mind to deal with it.

I think it's a bit ungracious to complain about how friends respond to our problems, if their intentions are good.

LFB - it's about that, probably less but she does it throughout the duration of the problem. I've had 3 such pics from her since Friday evening, plus texts about what they're up to. In normal times she never does this, just when things are wonky. So, lets say about once a year we (all) get some kind of hiccup that evokes a sympathy response in our friends. In those situations hers is always of this nature, to the extent that when I see her name on my phone I think "oh here we go..."

dreamingbohemian - I didn't tell her. Mutual friends did. I have already acknowledged that her sentiment is well meant and I feel horrible for bitching about it but this is AIBU on an anonymous forum. Better to do it here than with people who know her, surely.

Start doing the same back.

If you hear she's laid up with a D&V bug, send her lots of pictures of your beaming family tucking into a roast dinner.

If she breaks a leg, send her a picture of yourself doing star jumps.

Etc.

CalamityKate - please join treadwarily on the naughty step.

YANBU, agree with Fetchez.

I actually feel embarrassed for her.

I don't think she's being terribly kind and thoughtful actually. I think she just wants to show you pics of her dc which is rather self indulgent.

I have a close friend who is always texting me pics of her dds (who are gorgeous) and I think 'errr lovely but I'm not their grandmother and I do actually have children of my own to gaze upon and smile gooily at'

I agree with treadwarily Txt back pics of your desimated kitchen after dinner....or the piles of washing up...the cat's poo on the stairs etc.

YABVU, I am so glad you are not friend, bitching and now taking the micky out of her on a forum, maybe she just does not know what to say or maybe she thinks enough people will say "poor you" and as your friend thinks maybe a cute picture may just make you smile

i would spend a day sending her pictures of random things that bear no relevance to anything

I love looking a pics of MY kids. Other peoples kids?......not so much, so I see your point.

In the grand scheme of things though, is it that big a deal? I'm sure her intentions were good.

I like your style treadwarily.

at a picture of you all tucking into a roast when she has D+V.

I'm always a bit "meh" at the assumption anyone will find other people's children so adorable that this will chase any troubles away. Or even find other people's children so adorable that they want to be swamped with pictures of them at any time.

I have a particularly cute dgd but the idea of bombarding everyone else with pictures of her makes me cringe.

But it is a difficult one since I can't see you finding a way to stop the problem that isn't going to result in the taking of umbrage.

Perhaps just delete the messages before you even open them?

This is innocent, one of my friends has a tendency to try to 'cheer people up' with inappropriate comments about other people and if that doesn't work he resorts to jokes about bestiality. Otoh that guy is autistic so it might be excusable.

Some people like to think their children are the centre of everybody else's universe, yanbu. Just say straight out that you feel like shit and pictures of other peoples kids aren't going to make you feel better.

Seriously, people only do things like this because everybody around them is so overly mannerly that they have no idea how idiotic they have become. Your friend probably means well but is genuinely unaware that other people don't find pictures of her kids as fascinating and heart warming as she does.

I remember on another thread here a few posters talking about how taking their kids to funerals cheers up the bereaved!