To expect my DP to buy me a Mother's Day card on behalf of 8 month DD

[LittleWaveyLines]

My DP rang Thursday to see if I wanted him to get me a mothers day card for my mother while he was in the shop.

I said yes please, so he said, "right then 2 mothers day cards". I said "No, 3..."

"What?"
"Well you're getting me one as well, aren't you?"
"But you're not my mother!"
"......!"

Arrgh, Face-Palm!

So I'm not expecting too much tomorrow as my first Mothers Day as a Mother. I'm actually really hurt and upset by this... He says she's too young to appreciate it. I say, but I'm bloody well not! Hmph

So actually I don't care if AIBU because I'm upset, and may well just show him this thread.

Grump.

You're not being unreasonable - I'm stupidly excited about getting my first mothers day card tomorrow :)

Oh, and he said it's just consumerist society making us buy stuff.

So bloody make me a card then.

I deserve one having a beautiful DD who still feeds 2 or 1 hourly day and night, won't be put down still, and won't go to anyone else for more than 5 mins without crying.

I deserve a medal as well as a card!

That's really odd he wouldn't get you one. Hopefully this is all just a trick so he can surprise you tomorrow.... Hopefully

My DH hates cards - hasn't even bought one for his own mother (shock) but even he made the effort to go out and get one today ready for tomorrow. He did draw the line at the overpriced balloon though apparently....

ita a nice thing to do if YOU would appreciate it.

that's all

there doesn't need to be a consumerist society bullshit argument - thats just a fucked up excuse for ' couldn't be fucking arsed'

you're a mum - you would have appreciated the thought

that's all

he's being a thought'ess dick

Not unreasonable at all. He'd have a swift kick in the nuts from me, and remember fathers day is just around the corner too

My DP has got me a card from our Bump, but I'm not supposed to have opened it yet

Ooohhhhh I wanted to do a !

He doesn't do trick surprises. It was genuine astonishment that he thought that he should buy me one.

We argued a bit about it, and he said why hadn't I got him a Fathers day card - I couldn't remember when fathers day was so had no reply (actually DD wasn't born then), but people don't do Fathers day as much do they?

YANBU - you're a mum and imo your dp is responsible for making sure you get a mothers day card until your dd is old enough to get/make you one herself.

The same goes for you on Fathers day.

"but people don't do Fathers day as much do they?"

great logic

"but people don't do Fathers day as much do they?"

great logic

I know I'm being a bit two faced about it, but I probably would have got him a Fathers day card, and the truth is that mothers generally do more, and so a card on Mothers day is an acknowledgement of that. OK some fathers do equal, but I think they're less common?

mind blank on the word I want to use for two-faced Bugger, that's going to annoy me,

But yes, it's a bit "insert the word here", I agree.

Well, he wasn't wrong was he? You're not his mother, and so it hadn't crossed his mind. Not unreasonable.

Hopefully now you have made it clear that that kind of thing is important to you, he'll make an effort. But I think you are BU to be upset by him not thinking about it - after all, until that point you hadn't told him you wanted that fuss made by him.

hypocritical?

I think he should get you a Mother's Day card and you should get him a Father's Day card when it comes round. It shows you appreciate what each other are doing for your LO.

I am still hurt a year later that i didnt get a mothers day card last year!! Cos my now exhusband couldnt be bothered to drag his arse out the oub and go in the shop opposite it! YET I got him a fathers day card despite my little boy only being 9 days old!!

Got one this year from a family friend on my son's behalf!

SO YADDDNBU

I wouldn't be too cross. It never even crossed my mind to but dh a fathers' day card from dd when she was a baby because he's not my dad. Nor would he buy for me.

So his surprise doesn't surprise me.

Yes hypocritical, thank you

Blame 8 months of no more than 2 hours sleep in a row, while he sleeps whole nights uninterrupted in the spare room... words often escape me nowadays...

UANBU
Trouble is, once reminded, DH gets his own back, for the nagging, by writing very dubious rhymes in cards.

I was totally with you until you said about father's day being lesser. I still think YANBU, but that's not a great attitude to have really.

That said, since you didn't have your DD on father's day, we can't really have known what you would've done.

YABU, he's right you're not his mum, the card is not gonna actually be from your dd so not that meaningful really. He genuinely didn't think its necessary to buy it, not that he is being spiteful or wanted to hurt you. I think you are over reacting really.
Maybe next year when your dd is that bit bigger he could get together with her and get her to draw you a card which would be lovely and more meaningful as she will genuinely have the input into it.

mayorquimby - the OP's DH's logic of why didn't you get me a card for Father's Day for a day when he wasn't technically a father is pretty skewed too

I'm sure the OP, if her child had been born by last Father's Day, would have noticed it was a special event and got him one.

But generally she's right that Mother's Day is a bigger deal. There used to be Greek festivals celebrating mothers. Not so for fathers IIRC.

In my family we've never done fathers day, but always mothers day. Same in his family.

Well now he knows. Hopefully I will get at least a card tomorrow. Maybe a lie in? Although that would mean him actually waking up when DD does - it was 5am this morning. He woke up at 8am....

... and THAT'S why I deserve a card...

"I'm sure the OP, if her child had been born by last Father's Day, would have noticed it was a special event and got him one."

except she's pretty much admitted that she wouldn't.
Because she does SO much more you see and mothers deserve more recognition