To think that humans who shit in the woods should clean up after themselves?

[EasyToEatTiger]

It's pretty revolting when your dog dives into the trees and starts eating human shit. People usually leave something behind which they've been wiping their bum with. People are always moaning about leaving dog poo behind, but little is said about human excrement.

sunshine people do shit in the changing rooms of posh shops. They are generally spending so much money that management tells the staff to smile and clear it up.

On Cairngorm you can get a free poo pot to bring it all out to be disposed of safely. You poo in a biodegradable bag and put the bag in the pot. When you get back to the car park the bag goes in the waste treatment plant and the pot is sterilised and reused.

Otherwise as Quint said, except I'd like to amend Step 5:

1. Then you put the paper in a zip lock bag and carry it to somewhere where it can be safely binned or burned.

I'm not sure any shops are safe any more. I don't want to take an expensive frock into the changing rooms only to find it's been used as bogroll. Yuck

i remember there was a competition to come up with poems about Luton (yes, really - Jon Hegley has a lot to answer for) and on my last visit to the Arndale Centre, there was a steaming great turd on the carpark's stairs so I submitted a poem that started something like 'Poo on the stairwell Ah the smell' . I was put off so much, I have never been back to the Arndale

I manage a charity shop and as well as the phantom pooer we regularly have urinaters, always the same corner of the changing room

When I was pottytraining DD we were out in the local gardens one day when she did a massive poo in her knickers. I took her to a corner of the gardens and started to change her (I still had the changing bag in those days and intended to bag up the pants even if it nearly made me vomit to scrape and wash them). A dog came bounding over and ate the turd out of her pants.

The dog owner gave me a look of absolute disgust. You'd have thought I was the one who'd just wolfed down a massive shit with bits of sweetcorn in it.

I also give you this gem from the Birmingham office of a big law firm a few years ago:

www.thelawyer.com/hammonds-office-plagued-by-return-of-the-shoe-soiler/114882.article