Is it rude of my cousin to do an Amazon wish list for her child's 1st birthday?

[AwkwardMary]

I mean isn't it rude and a bit pushy? She's not even having a party for her!

The child is 1 so its not like she's chosen the things....the things are very varied in price though so I suppose it's ok but to me it takes all the pleasure of choosing a gift....I like choosing gifts and do well at it....I take a lot of time over it and really like finding nice things.

I alwasy buy nice things and to just press a button on Amazon for a gift that I nevr picked seems crap.

Yes, it's rude. I hate gift lists of any kind. YANBU.

If there is no party, why do you need to send a gift?

I don't mind gift lists for weddings but that is horrible

yes that is very rude

And I'd say no party no present except for those closest.

I have done wish lists so when someone asks what my child would like I can direct them. That said everything was around £5.00 - £7.50 so they are not too expensive. Don't put one out as standard. Frankly after another birthday I would rather people spent less on wanted times than on things that don't get used... It seems such a waste.

Yes, its rude. My DSIS did a gift list for her PFB's christening! I didn't get her a gift from the list needless to say.

I'd just ignore it

Surely a wish list isn't like a gift list though. My two (aged 8 and 4) have wish lists on Amazon but that is so that if family members want to get them something for Christmas or Birthday they can see what they want. No different to us using wish lists (which we do). Growing up we didn't have much money so if we wanted something it had to wait till Christmas or Birthday. For this reason we always got each other things that we KNEW we wanted and if Amazon had been around back then no doubt we'd have used the facility!

I have lists running for me, dh, the two dc and the baby on the way. I use them as my memory is shite and when someone says is there anything in particular X wants for Christmas/birthday/easter etc i can send them list for suggestions.

Not grasping for anything but its just easier for me as i do my shopping online so thats where i 'see' things.

Rude - ignore it and picl her something that has some meaning for you

*pick her something

I have done wish lists so when someone asks what my child would like I can direct them. That said everything was around £5.00 - £7.50 so they are not too expensive. Don't put one out as standard. Frankly after another birthday I would rather people spent less on wanted times than on things that don't get used... It seems such a waste.

no, i think it's fine.
doesn't mean you have to buy them, or even if you do, you don't have to buy them from amazon.

it's a good idea - saves you buying crap they don't want (or duplicating)

Has she demanded that the gifts given are only to be off the list?

I would rather buy someone something that i know they would like, need, or use, it isn't about me.

I give gifts to people that i like or love, whether or not there is a party, though, which some don't seem to, on MN.

Wish lists can be used to keep track of items.

Yes, that is pretty rude. Mind you I know a woman who is 33 who still writes a wishlist for Christmas each year and then distributes it to friends and family so it takes all sorts!

Of course it's not rude - it's there if someone asks what they'd like her to get. You don't have to use it. (Not sure why you feel you have to get a present for the daughter of a cousin at all, but that aside).

I'd always feel happier knowing that what I get as a gift is something that is going to be used / isn't a duplicate, rather than me second guessing. IMO it makes life much easier and I always ask people for birthday lists, but, if you aren't a "birthday list" type of person, then you do what you want to do - she's not sent it round to you to demand you get something off there, it's just available to give people an idea if they'd like one.

Rude. I also have a cousin who publicly bombards her siblings with demands for specific presents via Facebook. It's really putting me off her, actually.

My sister and her fiance have wish lists on amazon, when we asked them what they wanted for christmas they sent us a link to the lists. Didn't seem rude or pushy to me in the slightest, I would much rather get something I know some one wants rather than spend money on something that sits in a cupboard. Did you ask her for ideas or did she just send it to you?

It's rude to send the list to people if they haven't asked for suggestions. And it's unusual/odd to make such a list in the first place - much more interesting to let people choose what surprise gift they'd like to give.

We do Amazon wish lists for DS as PIL are about 400 miles away and my family are on a different continent. It saves them duplicating presents as they sadly don't see DS very often and means that they can order online for delivery direct to us.

We have never said that they have to buy something on it - more that it gives them a guide as to what he likes and what he needs to "finish" sets of Duplo/Mega Blocks etc. It is especially good for books as we now have so many of them - and books are always a "staple" present in both families, and a bit more exciting than a book token.

I think they have a purpose, but I would never tell anyone to buy something from it, or put it on an invite - ours are purely for family unless someone really asks specifically.

It gets to the point you may as well say 'you get the gift and I'll give you the money'. I like to choose surprise presents for people and would resent being told what to get.

It isn't rude to create one.

But it is rude to send them out to you if you have not requested ideas, and to insist you only buy from it.

I have an Amazon wishlist for myself and I also have one for DD. I update both fairly regularly and especially before Christmas and birthdays. However, family often ask for ideas and I therefore will refer them to the lists if and when they do. But I would never sent the links to them if not asked, and would never insist people only buy from the lists. I do also make sure people know that these are just ideas, nothing has to come from Amazon, and sometimes Amazon isn't the cheapest either, so to check.

but having a wish list, isn't telling someone what to get. It's there if you want help in deciding what to get.

Yes it is. Rude as hell.