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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it rude of my cousin to do an Amazon wish list for her child's 1st birthday?

80 replies

AwkwardMary · 10/03/2012 17:46

I mean isn't it rude and a bit pushy? She's not even having a party for her!

The child is 1 so its not like she's chosen the things....the things are very varied in price though so I suppose it's ok but to me it takes all the pleasure of choosing a gift....I like choosing gifts and do well at it....I take a lot of time over it and really like finding nice things.

I alwasy buy nice things and to just press a button on Amazon for a gift that I nevr picked seems crap.

OP posts:
bumbleymummy · 11/03/2012 11:47

Dizzy - for a 1 year old though? I don't think they would get much play value out of an art set at that age (peppa pig or otherwise).

thisisyesterday · 11/03/2012 11:53

well.... my kids have amazon wish lists.
cos otherwise people keep ringing me and saying "what can we get X for his birthday?"

so we decided it was easier to make a wish-list and the kids can add things through the year that they see and think they might like,.

however, I don't generally tell people of the existence of said list unless they ask for ideas first, and we certainly don't mind if people just go and buy their own thing :)

lurkerspeaks · 11/03/2012 12:22

As a relative who lives at a distance but loves to buy the children gifts I positively welcome amazon lists.

This way I can buy something the child wants/ needs and know it is not going to be duplicated. I also get a degree of choice over what to buy (which I don't get if I give cash).

salemsparklys · 11/03/2012 15:24

I would much rather get a list as then you know you will pick something the child would actually like, i get my children to write lists out of everything they would like, then get them to narrow it down to what they 100% want, if someone asks what they would like i can then give them something from the list. All my friends and family prefer it this way too.

Pusheed · 11/03/2012 19:28

YABU

For DC's friends its No Party - No Present BUT its a petty attitude if its your cousin. I am of course assuming that she gives presents to your DC regardless of whether there is a party or not.

As for the wish list, I don't see what the big deal is. If there was only expensive items on the list then that is taking the piss but that isnt what is happening here.

Proudnscary · 11/03/2012 19:33

Rude and grabby and gauche and awful.

BackforGood · 11/03/2012 19:57

ProudandScarey (and anyone else who agrees) - can you explain to me why ?
If you would like to get someone a gift that will be appreciated, and you choose to ask the person (parent in this case), why is it rude for the recipient to have thought of a few things in advance (knowing full well that some people will ask) ? Confused

sunnydelight · 11/03/2012 22:15

I can see the point of a wishlist for older kids who will have definite interests and opinions on what they want (only to be given to people who ask of course) but for a 1yo I think it takes away from the fun of choosing a gift and is a real indication that the parent EXPECTS a gift.

Lueji · 11/03/2012 22:30

It was a bit rude, but you buy what you want.
I take wish lists as indications only.

Pusheed · 12/03/2012 00:16

To all those who think the wish list is rude - stop being so prickly.

Relatives often ask me for ideas for birthday presents for my DCs. A wish list is merely an extension of this.

And its the cousin for fecks sake as opposed to a friend so cut her some slack, Jack.

I'm slowly coming to the conclusion that there are a batch of MNetters who see rudeness in the most trivial of things.

fuzzpig · 12/03/2012 00:26

I always thought wish lists on Amazon were for yourself, to keep track of what you might like to treat yourself to.

That's what I use mine for! It's divided into categories... Books, games, entertainment, toys (so basically everything for the DCs) and random for household stuff. It's great for birthdays and Xmas. I've never sent it to anyone, it feels quite personal IYSWIM and I feel really awkward just telling somebody what I want.

I don't think it's rude if somebody asks what to buy, but just blatantly posting it on FB is rather brazen to say the least.

Pusheed · 12/03/2012 00:46

A wedding present wish list is fairly common. Why is that acceptable but not a birthday one?

brdgrl · 12/03/2012 00:55

Making the wishlist is not rude. Telling people about it via a Facebook announcement most certainly is!

sunnyday123 · 12/03/2012 07:34

i think your cousin knows what her dd would like more than you! to be fair, my 2 dds got tons of wooden toys over the years from older family members, e.g cut and play food, shape sorters, little dolls to dress, wooden kitchens/dolls houses etc yet kids generally always prefer the plastic tat! but whatever you like but to insist you know her dd better than her seems a bit ott!

sunnyday123 · 12/03/2012 07:35

buy whatever you like - that should say

TheMerchantOfVenom · 12/03/2012 07:45

Crass.

I was brought up to think that alluding to expecting or wanting a present in any way, shape or form was really bad manners. A wish list amounts to exactly that.

Can't change the ingrained thoughts of a lifetime, I'm afraid, so while people are of course free to make all and sundry aware of what they'd like to be given as a present, I'm free to think it's crass and low class. Wink

Do I lose sleep over it? No.

Oho · 12/03/2012 07:52

Of course it isn't rude! If I was your cousin, I'd be mightily offended by this thread though.

noinspiration · 12/03/2012 07:56

Ugh, not naice at all. V rude!

DialsMavis · 12/03/2012 08:04

I think it's totally acceptable for an older child to do a wish list and for parents to send it to people who need inspiration for gifts. For a one year old and over FB in requested: grasping, crass and ewwwwww

Scootergrrrl · 12/03/2012 08:19

We have wishlists for the children so when the 12th person asks what they'd like for Christmas or birthdays, they can be directed to the list and the present is then removed so there are no duplications and no having to think of ideas for everyone else. I wouldn't have one if people didn't ask me what the children would like.

BikeRunSki · 12/03/2012 08:26

I can see everyone's opposing points of view, but DS got 7 copies of The Gruffalo for his birthday and 3 of That's Not My Monster. A wish-list might have helped to bring a little variety to his library!

Thatisnotitatall · 12/03/2012 08:37

It's not rude to have one that people who ask can be directed to, it is rude if she is emailing the list out to all and sundry when those people have not asked what to buy or even indicated they are going to buy anything.

I agree the main reason is to avoid duplication at age 1 - especially with books, which a lot of people are all evangelical about and don't realise they are not the only person in the world aware of 'We're Going on a Bear Hunt' or 'Dear Zoo' and that many children already have at least one copy :)

trixymalixy · 12/03/2012 08:37

As others have said, it's not rude to have a wish list. I have an amazOn wish list which is more as a memory aid so I don't forget things I have seen that the kids might like.

What is rude is to send it out to people if they haven't asked

trixymalixy · 12/03/2012 08:38

.. If there's anything the child would like.

Flisspaps · 12/03/2012 08:41

I think they're a good idea.

I don't do them myself but I'd rather someone directed me to a gift list/wish list than me buying someone something I think they'd like but actually they'll never use, or buying them something they already have and so causing them a faff of taking it back.

If she's posted it on her FB, perhaps several people have asked her what to get her DD and so she's saving herself from being asked the same question another 20 times over?