AIBU to think a 6 year old should not still be in a pram if they haven't got SN

[Mrbojangles1]

On a bus today with my newborn then a lady with a pram and a toddler who her oh was holding got on, i asked if she could fold it down so others could get on as he oh was sitting with the child at the back i was blanked.

Then another lady got on with a stick pram the child looked rather large to be in a pram so i asked how old the little boy was she said 6 i then asked if he had sn she laughed and oh no he is not disabled he has a cough .

then i was asked by the driver to put MY PRAM DOWN GURRRRRRR AS THEIR WERE now 3 parms on the bus

IF YOUR CHILD IS 6 AND HAS NO SPEICAL NEEDS AIBU TO THINK THEY SHOULD BE BLOODY WALKING not in a sodding stick pram were their feet are dragging on the floor because their to jeffing big for it

[TheBigJessie]

Why did you ask?

If I see a six year old or older in a pushchair, I'd just assume he or she had SN. They wouldn't be in the pushchair otherwise!

Do you think people just wake up, and say, "I think I'll make my six year old use the pushchair, even though he's been walking for five years, and is a promising athlete, just so I can inconvenience as many people as possible"?

People stop using pushchairs as soon as they can!

[CardyMow]

OH - and I had to buy the Mac Major, because DS2 missed out on the 'points' scale my PCT use for allocating them by just one point. For the sake of ONE point, out of 100, we couldn't get it funded.

While I was saving up for the Mac Major (couldn't aford the raincover etc - JUST the Major), he had no choice but to go in the normal pushchair. Because he couldn't fucking WALK. And if one more person on the buses had turned to me and said "It's only a short walk to the back of the bus, I'm sure he can manage it..." When they wanted to get their pushchairs on, I might just have smaked them in the face - because it's not easy for someone with their OWN mobility problems to CARRY a non-walking 3.6yo to the back of the bus AND hold them while the bus is moving.

I got quite hard-line after many incidents like that. I am the passenger who looks out of the window and asks OTHER passengers to move from the wheelchair spaces if I see a pushchair or a wheelchair at the bus stop. I speak out, in case those getting ON the bus with their pushchairs or wheelchairs can't or don't feel able to.

And I know that in the vast majority of cases where there is a 6yo in a pushchair there is a genuine reason for it. Maybe they are on the Autistic spectrum, and are 'runners', so are in there for safety reasons. Maybe they have brittle asthma and are too worn out with keeping ALIVE to walk. Maybe they have recently had a seizure but their parent has no choice but to take other children to school. Maybe they have a muscle problem. There's 101 maybe's about a 6yo being in a pushchair - and only one of them is unreasonable, and since it is downright rude to ask, you just accept it...

[gallifrey]

there is someone that pushes their year 1 child to school every day in a buggy!

[TheBigJessie]

gallifrey

Then maybe that child has additional needs. They may be diagnosed. Or they may be yet to be officially diagnosed.

I can't imagine that many year 1 children would be willing to be in a pushchair! Or that the mother is blissfully unaware of the judgemental looks coming her way...

[RabidEchidna]

YANBU but there are some right idiots out there

[RabidEchidna]

There was a parent at the school that was still bringing her son to school in a buggy in year 2 and this was a perfectly healthy little boy, sadly the mother was mad as a box of frogs,

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

You should all think yourself lucky.
In my day, you didnt get buggy busses. Our rural route was on the side of a busy dual carriageway. You had to cross the dual carriageway, wait for anything up to an hour, in all weathers, and then hope the bus that if the bus actually came, that it stopped. You then had two choices, give the baby to the driver, or lay it on the floor of the bus, whilst you folded the pram down.
YAABU!

[TheBigJessie]

One bystander's "perfectly healthy little boy with a neurotic mother" has sometimes turned out to have genuine, unrecognised problems.

Sure, maybe she is just mad. But, maybe she isn't.

I know a woman who was wheeling her little boy to school at that age, many years ago. She didn't get official recognition of his needs for another 6 years, but it didn't mean they weren't there.

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

^^




^^

[SaggyOldClothCatPuss]

Theres a space, park your pram in it!

[jollyoldstnickschick]

My ds2 often sat in the babies buggy purely because he was too tired to walk - he has M.E and although at that time it was undiagnosed he simply couldnt walk any more.

So very nice of you to enquire s.n.



things have a funny way of turning .....lets hope your never in a difficult position.

[FilterCoffee]

YABU. You have no idea of someone else's circumstances.

[McHappyPants2012]

Why get on in the first place, if 2 buggies are on the bus they come 1st.

Also I put my buggy down to allow people with babies my dd is almost 3 so is able to sit on the bus, however after hearing you ask about another child medical history I wouldn't bother

[AnAirOfHope]

Iknow a mother who puts her 5yo son in a pushchair to go out because he wants to go in it as its fun for him to get pushed around and if not he throws a tanturm and hits her and refuses to walk. There are loads of reasons for a 6yo to be in a buggy. I would have just got off and got the next one.

[cocoachannel]

OP, jumping back a few posts but where the bloody hell to you live? I commuted by bus or tube throughout my pregnancy and was usually offered a seat, and on the rare occasions that I wasn't (usually because people were reading), I asked and was never refused. I know a lot of London Mums and know of a solitary example of one friend on just one occasion being refused a seat by the person she asked.

Exactly the same applies when I travel with DD, usually on the bus, she is now one. When she was smaller I used a sling because folding down the pram I had would be problematic. Now she's older I use a City Jogger which is easy to fold down if I need to make room for others.

Sorry to go but it really pisses me off when people come on here and perpetuate the myth that all Londoners are selfish and rude. I am not a Londoner originally and see no difference in people's behaviour between here and my home town. On the whole people are helpful and nice.

I also take objection to you using the reference to want I assume is the 2005 killing of Richard Whelan. A horrible, tragic event, so very sad. BUT a one off tragedy, and given the millions who travel in London everyday hardly evidence that this type of thing is rife. The awful stories you hear more regularly tend to be youth/gang related. No less sad but hardly indicative of random people being under threat.

[Triggles]

I had to laugh (albeit a bit hollowly) at the comment about the Yr1 child being taken to school every day in a pushchair. We often take DS2 to or from school in his Mac Major. Sometimes he can manage the walk to school or home from school without falling apart. Sometimes he can't. Sometimes he is so overwrought before we've even left the house, or so exhausted at the end of the school day that we don't even try to have him walk as it's too tiring and stressful for him. Other days we drive, although we TRY to get him to walk as much as possible because obviously to some extent it is good for him.

But if you for a moment don't think that we see other parents and children commenting, pointing, or simply watching and judging.... well, think again. We are quite well aware of it. But I'll be damned if I'm going to justify it to them. Our close friends (as well as school staff) know about DS2's SNs, and people are really only told on a "need to know" basis. Passers-by, other people on the bus, in the street or shops...? Don't need to know, so therefore get no explanation.

Funnily enough, while we've had plenty of comments aimed at us from other passengers (quite loudly in front of DS2) about him being in a pushchair on the bus, the bus driver has only ever said anything ONCE... and thankfully that day my friend that I had been shopping with that afternoon stepped in and handled it without me having to say anything. In fact, the driver was a bit nasty, but she flat out told him the Mac Major was the child's equivalent of a wheelchair and that he had every right to remain seated in it without it being folded and put away as the wheelchair space was available.

I agree that there is a huge difference between a child asking a polite question because they don't understand something, and an adult asking your child's age and whether or not they have SNs in order to ascertain whether or not they have a "right" to remain in the pushchair on the bus. None of your business.

[Triggles]

Anyone who thinks it's "easier" to have a child that age in a pushchair instead of walking on their own needs their head examined. It's a hassle, it draws tons of unwanted attention to yourself, it's heavy pushing sometimes, and it requires planning and coordination (bus, shop entries, etc) at a time when you should be able to just say "ok, let's go in this shop" and have your child walk with you.

99.9% of the time, if the child looks too old for a pushchair, there's most likely something else going on and a valid reason for them to be in it.

[fazsaeed]

My niece is 4 and has Been walking with us rather than being in a pram .
If it's a very long walk she will sit in a pram but we have had her on 3 hour walks with breaks and was fine.
The lady whom you was talking about Was being lazy and that leads to child hood obesity.
Then they ask
Why are kids fat...

Government recommend a child starts walking on short trips our at 3 years to cut risk of obesity

[TheBigJessie]

Damn right, Triggles. My twins are pushing three, and the pushchair has been relegated to occasional use only. Especially when I'm getting the bus. The "will there be space for my pushchair this time" lottery is not to be recommended.

Last time I got the bus, a young woman with a tiny baby was left at the stop, because there was no space. I felt so sorry for her.

[amothersplaceisinthewrong]

I personally would not put a 6 year old in a buggy (I got rid of all buggies when my youngest was 3.5) but I don't think I'd ask someone else why their child was in a buggy - I would probably assume special needs/illness of some sort. I do think all buggies should be folded on buses though.

[TheBigJessie]

Great, fazsaeed. Your neice has no SN. Congratulations to you and all your kin!

You do not know that the woman on the bus was being lazy.

[CardyMow]

I'll tell my 8yo with brittle asthma and muscle problems that he is just being lazy and is going to get obese next time he needs to go in the Mac Major then, shall I, fazsaeed?!

Because of course, I think it's such a jolly wheeze to push an 8yo on and off the buses, whose hydraulic ramps don't work more often than not, at the same time as having a tall 13mo strapped to my front in the sling, don't I? I do that because I'm feeling lazy, don't I?!

And I STILL wouldn't be justifying myself to ANYONE in RL who asked me if my 8yo has SN. Because it's none of their fucking business.

[giraffesCantDonateBoneMarrow]

hunty the wheezing is just all the fat burning away

[mylittleponypinkypie]

Can someone explain to me, can a very sick six year old not sit in a normal bus seat? I can understand having too far to walk, but not being able to stand up for a second then sit on a bus seat? A lot of this thread seems to be "my child has SN and has to use a buggy because it's too far" which is fair enough but can't an ill six year old, even if asleep, be woken up and told "can you sit on this seat for the bus ride to help this lady out?"