AIBU to think a 6 year old should not still be in a pram if they haven't got SN

[Mrbojangles1]

On a bus today with my newborn then a lady with a pram and a toddler who her oh was holding got on, i asked if she could fold it down so others could get on as he oh was sitting with the child at the back i was blanked.

Then another lady got on with a stick pram the child looked rather large to be in a pram so i asked how old the little boy was she said 6 i then asked if he had sn she laughed and oh no he is not disabled he has a cough .

then i was asked by the driver to put MY PRAM DOWN GURRRRRRR AS THEIR WERE now 3 parms on the bus

IF YOUR CHILD IS 6 AND HAS NO SPEICAL NEEDS AIBU TO THINK THEY SHOULD BE BLOODY WALKING not in a sodding stick pram were their feet are dragging on the floor because their to jeffing big for it

[HolyNoSheDittantBatman]

Some people are very rude AwkwardMary, one of my DC's had a very lazy eye that went right up inside his head and I was asked twice 'what's wrong with your baby?'. One of those times was in the queue at a bus stop. It happens unfortunately.

[AwkwardMary]

Yes they can be rude Holy but seriously....this OP is like a demo of ALL the things that MN rows about re prams and buses....only condensed into one post. The only thing we're missing is a genuinely dsabled person who was then booted off because the 6 year old in a buggy needed the space.

[Mrbojangles1]

HolyNoSheDittantBatman

my 12 year old has a lazy eye also is currently wearing the eye patch to strengthen the eye and if some one asked me what ring with your son

personally i would just say nothing the have a squint and is wearing the patch to strengthen it but that's just me i can only go on how i would feel it someone asked me the question and it wouldn't bother me
i genuinely didn't think i was being out of line by asking

[usualsuspect]

It ticks all the boxes ,thats for sure

[ilovesooty]

Perhaps if a wheelchair user had been on the bus the OP would have asked them if they really needed it or if they could fold it and stand up.

[Mrbojangles1]

sorry spelling trying to hold baby and trying she is wriggling ml

[nillsnoo]

I would say YNBU that you should not have had to fold the pram. The first person to fold the buggy should have been the empty buggy.

However you cannot just ask strangers personal questions just becuase some blanks you. I would be interested to know exactly how you asked, and the wording. I would have been quite offended if I was the other mother.

[Birdsgottafly]

Yes it does tick nearly all of the boxes (she hasn't mentioned racial origins, yet).

That why i thought i just say what i thought and not bother with reason.

[Mrbojangles1]

oh i give up to ask if ABUI your told your rude then lying

[ilovesooty]

So your 12 year old doesn't mind his condition being discussed in public? You really don't realise how rude you were?

[Mrbojangles1]

not really its not a big deal, he thought the patch was cool

[Moveslikejagger]

words seldom fail me but I am stunned that you thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask a stranger if their child has special needs.

[Mrbojangles1]

it was a big talking point at school especially for the girls so he loved it

everyone trying to guess why he was wearing the patch

[Mrbojangles1]

i love sooty not so keen om his braces though the girls were not loveing that so much

[GavisconJunkie]

It was rude to ask, & I suppose none of your business, but it is weird. Sorry to any lazy mothers who think it's not, but it is.

My sil kept her DS in a buggy until 6ish too. Apparently it was easier for getting home from school quickly! He wouldn't get in until around the corner. Fast fwd 3 years, it takes my mil over an hour to get the lazy, meandering little shitbag to walk the 10 mins to her house. He listens to no one, he & his equally appalling spoiled older sister (11) just dictate the pace & love to wind nanny up.

Perhaps if he'd been taught some bloody urgency a bit earlier, he would've carried it with him.

just spent a morning at a family farm with them. My tired two year old trumped them both in the behaviour stakes, by a long way & she can be a fucking nightmare

[GetDownNesbitt]

My 5 year old sat in the pushchair today so his 3 year old brother could hae a go on the buggy board. We needed him as ballast down a very big hill. The hill was the reason we had the pushchair with us, btw.

[Blu]

You really have no business asking people if their child has SN.
My DS used a buggy for longer than most children because he has a mobility disability and got more tired than other children. This was no one else's business.
It's a free country, no law against children of any age using buggies, maybe he was really poorly an too weak to walk far, but it was none of your business.
Inconvenient to have so many buggies, inconsiderate not to fold it down,but your business to know how old an whether he had SN? No.

[MySunshineInGreySkies]

Have to agree it is very rude and intrusive to ask if a child has SN on a bus when you've never met them before just because they are in a buggy. I'm quite dumbfounded that you can't see that. Why didn't you ask the woman wih the empty buggy. Quite ridiculous.

[detachandtrustyourself]

I like the term stick pram; even though it's really a pushchair, it describes perfectly, what sort of pushchair it is.

Typical of tesco to call it a buggy when everyone knows only the original mclaren can be called that. I know other shops and people call them buggies but that's ok because it's only like calling a vacuum cleaner or dyson a hoover, whereas tesco are the inventors of capitalism.

[inmysparetime]

I would have just folded down the empty buggy, either the owner would continue to blank you and let you do it, or she would ask what you were doing and you could ask her to do it herself.

[VeryLittleGravitas]

Why didn't you just wait for the next bus Bo...you're in London FFS, there are buses every 10 minutes.

Seriously, invest in a sling. It makes public transport bearable. None of this prams at twenty paces malarkey.

[Firawla]

If you were on the bus first why have you folded it down at all? whoever is on first, gets the place - other than wheel chairs. Thought that was the universal rule of london buses unless out of the goodness of their heart someone offers to fold their stick pram for somebody else getting on. Rather than asking about the sn, why not just say 'sorry I am not folding, I have a newborn in here' and let the other 2 sort themselves out. Suprised he even let the 3rd one on in the 1st place but its not your problem so why did you make it your problem by folding up yours?? You must be a mug to do that! In future if you are there first just hold onto your buggy space, and save all the hastle, why did you just give it up voluntarily if you did not want to
Unless you got on 3rd, in which case should just wait for the next bus, but op sounds like you were on first, so whole situation is just strange

[Triggles]

Incredibly rude to ask if the child had SNs. I wouldn't have told you either, as I don't feel it is anyone's business and don't like discussing it in front of my DS2.

We DO have a Maclaren Major, which is a pushchair for children with disabilities, however, I also know some people who do not have them even though they technically need them. They are expensive (£250+) and that doesn't even include the rain cover (package with raincover, suncover, seat cover and such is another £250!!). We got our pushchair through the NHS/OT, however, it was just the pushchair, not the rest (which we will have to pay £250 for ourselves). That's a hell of a lot of money, especially when you consider that families with children with disabilities are much more likely to be living on the edge of poverty as one parent has often had to quit work to be a full time carer.

So with a child as young as 6, if they can fit them in a regular pushchair, they may have opted to wait to get the more expensive disability pushchair. Or perhaps they are in the process of getting one and haven't gotten it yet.

You had no business asking if the child had SNs. Personally, I think you would be wiser to simply assume that any child that looks too old to be in a pushchair probably has a fairly good reason for being there and refrain from humiliating the parent (and possibly the child) in public.

[QuickLookBusy]

I really can't believe you asked a total stranger if her DS had special needs.

I suggest you learn some manners.

[amistillsexy]

Ok, I'm jumping in.

Why did any of you leave your prams up when you'd taken the child out? I thought the whole point is that you leave the child in the pram for the ride?

Why are you so outspoken (asking people to fold prams, asking personal questions about 'special needs'?) in a place where bus drivers get knives pulled on them just for asking for payment? I've lived in those parts of London and I kept my bloody head down!

To be honest, I think UABU to use a bus with a pram. Slings are so much simpler, especially with newborns.



Finally, for many, many posters on this thread, it's
should HAVE, could HAVE, would HAVE.
Not should OF, could OF, would OF.

Thank you. As you were.