Many of our arguments revolve around this theme or are thinly disguised versions of this argument. Dh feels he is the breadwinner and I dont appreciate that. I feel I do EVERYTHING else and he doesnt appreciate that. Yet another row last night (we are having a rough patch at the moment- he's been working 7days a week for a month) ended with him saying "write a f*ing list then". So I am. And I'd love to compare it with yours.
ME:
-Childcare- feeding/health/school/clothes/social lives/clubs etc etc
-Our social/family lives- do all the organising/planning (his and my family) cook, tidy up etc when we have people over, remember b.days etc
-Housework- cleaning, washing, ironing, mending, replacing etc
-Cooking- me except about 3 times a year when he might have ago
-Gardening- planning (relitavely new house)tidying weeding planting etc, lugging heavy things about
-DIY- I will fix most things, build flat packs etc
-Builders,plumbers etc- I always book them/deal with them (just had lots work done- not sure builders knew his name)
-Bills- dh pays them all by direct debit but if there are any probs I wil be on phone for hours
-Car- I take it to garage etc and know how to change bulbs etc
-Pets- one cat, I've done all vets, feeding, litter tray etc
-Holidays- I think about/plan book etc though won't book til he has at least glanced over my shoulder and looked at brochure/computer screen and agreed
HIM:
-Earns all money and has done since ds1 was born ten years ago. He likes his job and is very highly regarded at work. There are periods which are very busy (now) but everyone that knows him (and it came up in his work appraisal) says that he becomes all consumed by it and over commits
-Childcare: Will look after kids and do all thats needed if I go out for an evening/day that I have told him about in advance and made prepartions (eg food prepared, kids in jamas already eyc) He also takes them out and helps with schoolwork when he is here and enjoys it
-Demolition- knocked down a small wall in garden last year
-Goes to rubbish dump- to get rid of above rubble and other junk sometimes
Generally I feel there should be more balance. It's not just the doing its the thinking about it all and feeling solely responsible. I also help out at ds's school, run a playgroup etc so feel I'm really busy in addition to alll the above! Dh says he's happy to contribute more when he can but he ends up not knowing what to do with himself when he's here because he's so busy at work so much of the time. I just think he's got to more conscios of everything that goes on at home. After all aren't we supposed to be doing this whole family thing TOGETHER????
So, how does your life work???!!!