WIBU to have entered in to a Loud Parenting stand-off at the library?

[welliesandpyjamas]

I think I know I WBU. In fact, I have brought shame on MN by stooping to these levels rather than just smirking and ignoring. I apologise.

I arrived early with DS2 to library rhymetime and was sitting reading quietly in the corner. Other mum comes in and announces to the whole place to her toddler that they will now sit and read. Cue LOUD reading of and over the top expressions and actions to the disinterested child. Very LOUD and ARTICULATED. And for some reason, I decided to out-loud-parent her and do the same, but going up one, by reading the bilingual books

In my defence, I did very quickly get a grip and stop.

She didn't, though. Went on for another 15 minutes and then was the loudest singer with the biggest actions during Rhymetime. Her dc did I mention his name was Zebediah? was more interested in making piles of books and picking his nose.

I love the naughty baby with the bottle!

There was a funny post on here a while ago,
A braying dad in Pret saying "oh tarquin would you like this lentil wrap, we like lentils dont we? or maybe this organic yoghurt " etc etc

Tarquin:I want a nutella sandwich.

I did this the other day, was so embarrassed as I didnt realise.
I was chatting on in a large voice, telling ds something about something and a lady beside us said "oh I didnt know that". I was a bit taken aback as I didnt realise Id been so loud.
I am loud, thats me

Arf @Neshbugger :) Properly laughing this morning at that one!!!

Theodorakis, that was so rude! Not even passive aggressive, just aggressive!

There was a show stopping performance of Heads Shoulders Knees and Toes in the queue at Next yesterday. I don't think little Sonny was interested though .

In the queue at Next?! WTF?!

I think some of these parents might actually be insecure about whether they are doing a good enough job with their children..

Was this Next in Sunderland??? Jeez! What's the world coming to? Didn't she get a slap?

I love these threads.

Performance Parents are one of the few things that sweeten the mind numbing task of shelving/tidying in the children's section of our library - I get to eavesdrop :o

Laughing at Beertricks in the museum.

Please please, nobody follow me and DS1 when we're in museums. I have a horrible idea that we might make people a bit stabby. DS1 is at an obsessive-dinosaurs phase and comes out with stuff that makes his parents' hearts glow, but probably induces a puke-face from any other nearby parents. And I probably come out with twattery like 'Really, darling? That's very interesting, isn't it? See, that's what evolution is.' or 'Yes that's right, Pachyrhinosaurus has different spikes to Triceratops. His name means 'thick-nosed lizard' in Greek'

I need taking out and shooting, really. It's all for DS1, honest.

BTW, I love the way everyone uses 'Tarquin' as Generic Child of Posh Performance Parents (we could always use the acronym instead: GCPPP? ). Has anyone actually come across a Tarquin in modern times? Or is it a step too far?

I only knew one Tarquin. He went to my (comprehensive, state) schools and was an utterly miserable child. His mum, you see, was a bit Odd. She wore Crazy Lady clothes (inexpertly crochetted capes, mad fuzzy jumper-type of thing) and rode a tricycle. An adult one, I mean. He had some sort of child seat at the back. I know those Dutch three-wheeler bikes with child-trailer are the epitome of eco-urban chic these days, but this tricycle was not like that. Possibly she'd stolen it off a passing ice-cream salesman. [conused] Anyway, he wore t-bar shoes well into Secondary School (social death) and was bent double beneath the weight of a massive backpack containing each and every one of his school books, regardless of whether he needed them that day. He was also cursed with early acne and beard growth, a particularly cruel combination.
At the local railway station, someone had grafitti'd the bridge overpass. It simply said 'Tarquin's Mum'. 'Nuff said.

Oh god, I need shooting. DS (3) is lactose intolerant and has now got his head around the fact that he can't have dairy. He Performance Childs about it in shops, especially at the checkout where all the sodding milk chocolate is.

"MUMMY IS THAT DAIRY? CAN I NOT HAVE IT THEN? IS THAT DAIRY? IS THAT ?

I find myself wanting to say things like "No, but you can have the Hula Hoops and some Haribo", just to ensure that no one thinks we are in the organic quinoa brigade.

My mum does Performance Grandparenting at the library with DS. I daren't go in there now, after a librarian said, "Oh, is that your mum ?". She orders books they don't have and pesters the staff.

justHectate

I'm so glad you said about having to point out it's a question to your DC's. I have often wondered if I come across as PP when I say to DS in a supermarket "DS would you like X or Y" DS will usually answer "remember last year, on x of month when we went to y place, and I did .................... and we had X to eat"

Culminating in me needing to tell DS it was a question and therefore it requires an answer! It's the fact I have to keep asking for an answer to the question before we discuss anything else I fear that people who missed the question might winder what it is I've actually asked!

There was an Evil Mother at DD1's first school. DD1's first language was Romanian, and I used to tell her off (quietly) in Romanian a) in an abortive attempt to keep it up after we left Romania and b) so that other people wouldn't know she was being told off.

Evil Mother "What language is that, that you are talking to your DD in?"
Me "Romanian."
Evil Mother "Oh, I didn't realise you'd adopted an orphan. Is the other one an orphan too, or is she yours?"

DD1 looked like my Mini-me at that stage, too. But what if she had been adopted and we hadn't told her yet?

MrsSchadenfreude

What a cow!

My kids do this to me when I pick them up from nursery, v embarrassing.

Child: mummy, can we have a snack of blueberries when we get home?
Me: (v quietly) I don't think there's any left.
Child: ooh what about pomegranate then?
Me: what about wotsits like everyone else!

They then launch into scolding me for driving to pick them up instead of walking, walking is much healthier. They're 3 and 5 FFS!

This thread is really making me laugh. I hope I'm not too much of a LP/PP. I give a running commentary because I have nobody else to talk to all day and I probably LP to keep a tantrum at bay. My voice doesn't really carry though so hopefully nobody can hear me.

So you have performance children, Sixfeet rather than being a performance parent?

'Dear' SIL was the local PPPP - Pissing and Pooing Performance Parent.

She'd read a book about babies in developing countries being toilet trained within moments of birth and tried to apply this to life in Dorchester.

For those that are interested in applying the PPPP policy to your 9 month old, as far as I can tell here are the highlights.

Every 5 minutes ask the child if it needs a WEE or a POO because YOU'VE STOPPED WEARING NAPPIES.

Every 10 minutes sit child on potty no matter where you are: busy street, entrance to house, coffee shop.

Praise every effort loudly.

If Child manages to actually piss in the pot through cold or fear offer delicious homebaked oat product as a 'reward'

Demand access to staff toilets etc to dispose of performance product.

Evidently Monsoon are n't keen on PPPPing in their lovely changing rooms.

^^

Pmsl at the monsoon demands!!

MrsSchadenfreude - totally evil!

Sixfeet, your dc are priceless

This thread is great. Having read the whole thing now, I don't think I PP or LP. I just whittle on about boring stuff with my monotone voice.

Roxyrobin No, next at silverlink !