WIBU to have entered in to a Loud Parenting stand-off at the library?

[welliesandpyjamas]

I think I know I WBU. In fact, I have brought shame on MN by stooping to these levels rather than just smirking and ignoring. I apologise.

I arrived early with DS2 to library rhymetime and was sitting reading quietly in the corner. Other mum comes in and announces to the whole place to her toddler that they will now sit and read. Cue LOUD reading of and over the top expressions and actions to the disinterested child. Very LOUD and ARTICULATED. And for some reason, I decided to out-loud-parent her and do the same, but going up one, by reading the bilingual books

In my defence, I did very quickly get a grip and stop.

She didn't, though. Went on for another 15 minutes and then was the loudest singer with the biggest actions during Rhymetime. Her dc did I mention his name was Zebediah? was more interested in making piles of books and picking his nose.

If that happens to me I deliberately pick a book my daughter knows really well, you want to see their faces when my tiny 2 year old ( looks nearer 18 months) "reads" Monkey puzzle. or aliens love underpants aloud ( she asks for those 2 so often she knows them by heart)

OP, what language was the bilingual book in? Dying to know. Suspect it's already been mentioned but can't read through 7 pages of posts. Inspired reaction.

Don

Saying normal things to your children in a louder voice is not performance parenting

Its the comments that are clearly made to impress the people around like

"Emily-Margaret would you like a humous and guava wrap for after your French language tap dance class. We know how hungry you get working so so hard showing the other girls how to do it properly..."

To which E-M replies
"Dancing is stupid and I want to go to McDonalds!"

I must learn the ways of the performance parent, I think. I'm sure there would have been a way to spin DS removing all his clothes and nappy and having a wee in the 3rd level of a soft play place, before streaking around the top so everyone could get a good look.

Something like 'Oh DS, how wonderful that you are so confident!' Would people buy that?

Maybe the child's mother was herself losing her hearing (too many sessions at the local nightclub?).....people often talk louder if they themselves are developing hearing loss. Well, if you didn't disturb anyone (no signs of other library users throwing their hands up in despair and leaving? Not told off by the librarian?) then YANBU. But both children might have been mortified with embarrassment, though. That's probably why her DS was pretending to concentrate on making piles of books. Lol.

I am that parent...
I now use the excuse that is cos dd is disabled.
but tbh I was the mum who stood and loudly said to ds (nt) that he couldn't cross the road until he saw Tommy the green power ranger.

oops hang on I have just proved that I am crap as obviously proved that my small son watched a violent tv show,

Koekje are you living in NL now?

The Starbucks dad made me snort, too funny.

ROFL at all the anecdotes about poo and swear words! Thanks folks, best comedy all week, better than cable tv.

I think this thread is mn at its best
thank you

Ughhh! I have been in the library a few times working with my child on some math work or other stuff when, to my horror, performance mums or nannies have sidled up right next to us to begin their over the top performances - yuk - how dreadful! To not notice that some children are actually in the library to work or learn is inexcusable! Well...perhaps their children are there to learn too, but not at everyone else's expense, right?

Smiling at all your posts. LURVE performance parenting. I experienced a great example by a dad at our local Waitrose (naturally!) explaining to his darling offspring that they needed "Only OrGANIC pine nuts for the SPE-C-IAL CRUST Mummy was making for the pork they had got from the farm shop for the SPECIAL DIN-NEr party Mummy and Daddy were having. You know when MUMMY and DADDy have ALL their friends around EVERY week". Child looked gormless in trolley and I could not stop laughing. DH did not believe me (I was still laughing) when I got home. Waitrose, John Lewis, M and S foodhalls...entertaining weekly shops!

I remember the Dad taking his around 4yo dd into the local insanely overpriced softplay, with her holding a book on molecular biology .

HAHAHAHA! Sooo funny! Must pick up a quantum pyhsics book at the library for DD 6...she is clearly retarded! I do find performance parenting so amusing.

My favorite is when people loud parent about their child's terrible behavior.

"Oh, Jonty is so assertive, isn't he?! He is going to go so far in life!" Translation: Jonty shoves others and takes their toys.

"Oh, Augustana is such a discerning child. She has definite tastes of her own, even at such a young age." Translation: Augustana loudly screams if asked to eat a bite of anything she has not expressly approved, that has touched any other food at any point in its existence, or is any color but beige.

"Our Peregrine is so exuberant! Just such a love for life, such an athletic presence!" Translation: Peregrine cannot sit still unless he is playing shoot 'em up video games. He prefers to spend his time racing through the house and shouting amidst adult conversations.

"We're unschooling our Paloma. She is so intelligent, of course she was bored in mainstream education. She has a such a unique mind, and really the way she was being taught...just archaic! Archaic, and with no understanding of her creative nature!" Translation: Paloma is as thick as a bag of hammers.

:o

Love it CheerfulYank!

(Perhaps reading it will make those who are hard of hearing or generally talk to their DCs appreciate the difference. You would hope that most people are chatting to and reading to their DC, and some make do it loudly. Thankfully there are a few who go OTT and give us a laugh! They generally grow out of it, older DCs won't put up with it-the poor little toddler has no choice!

Messalina, I started with a Spanish one, which was whipped away by ds to be replaced by Welsh one. I chickened out at the Japanese one he gave me next, natch.

Another example a couple of weeks ago - also in supermarket - Mum with 2ish year old boy. Kept passing her in the aisles. Toddler was helping put things in trolley. Mum giving loud commentary of EVERY item going in followed by "you are so clever", mummy's clever boy" "gosh, you know all the foods" etc etc etc, BOOMING VOICE. They should have hired her as the bleeding tannoy system

You must have been in the same supermarket as me that day

The braying of "HHHHenry dahhhhrling, Mummy needs some fennel now, can you find mummy the fennel"

A friend with her PFB at the cinema beside me and my dd2. Friend spoke without pause through the whole film, describing in minute detail the goings on. child sat with head lolling on chair back, me scratching my own eyeballs with irritation.
"Is PFB feeling sad cos mummy went away, to the toilet for a split second and you are 3 years old? Shall I stick my tit in your mouth even though you don';t want it? would that help
a source of much frustration.

I abandoned all hopes of being a performance parent with DS very early on and would go armed with a selection of comics on our public appearances - anything to grab his attention and prevent him running round and round shouting before attempting to dismantle the building.

On one mortifying occasion, when I'd had to take him to a slow-moving, crammed orthopaedic clinic after breaking my arm, he'd seen off his Beano and Dandy and pounced on the Private Eye I'd brought for my own amusement. He homed in on the amusing headlines and pronounced in piercing tones: "'Honeymoon? If we can fit it in, say couple!' What's the joke in that, Mum?" I didn't explain.

I was said loud parent until I found an outlet for it - I now run my own singing group. Since starting this I have felt less need for the world to know that I love singing loudly to my child. However, DS1 is doing his loud mummy proud at the moment by singing the wheels on the bus every time we get on a bus. DH is and always will be a loud parent but he has always been noisy and has no concept of quiet.

There is only one woman where I have felt exhausted just by her mere presence. She was relentless and used the child's name repeatedly and gushed at him. A lot. I think it was the gushing that did it - I felt slightly ill listening to her feck on about how wonderful he was at standing, turning his head, breathing etc (the child was about 2.2yo).

There was also Bitch Mum "No I don't know why that boy is crying darling. You WOULD think his mummy would make him stop yes. Maybe he's just not as grown up as you". Then the smug, pitying look. She said other shit to my face, including telling me DS seemed backward to her, especially when her child was the most advanced child in all the world

The rest of the time? I'm the loud parent I suspect. "Good sliding DS" "Well done for doing such good waiting". "Can you find the same? The kid had glue ear and speech and language delay. It was the only way to engage with him when he was deaf and had difficulty listening and paying attention. I still do it because it works to improve his communication skills and because a constant commentary and tasks to do "find the red one DS" "Is that an orange or a pepper?" stop him from running off and pulling everything off the shelf and being a general pita.

I care not a jot if I'm the loud parent but hell would freeze over before I ventured to bloody Rhyme Time!

This is a very funny thread.

Did love the loud parent off though and I don't care if you were unreasonable or not

Kate

Good point

Har de har @ find the fennel!

Onelittlefish, see, becoming a singing group leader makes lovely sense!

Katie - some are truly awful, some are great, but all of them are free and at 3 yrs old ds is happy to do the whole singing, actions, sitting on ma, and crafty stuff, allowing me to zone out for a bit and observe the over keen parents