WIBU to have entered in to a Loud Parenting stand-off at the library?

[welliesandpyjamas]

I think I know I WBU. In fact, I have brought shame on MN by stooping to these levels rather than just smirking and ignoring. I apologise.

I arrived early with DS2 to library rhymetime and was sitting reading quietly in the corner. Other mum comes in and announces to the whole place to her toddler that they will now sit and read. Cue LOUD reading of and over the top expressions and actions to the disinterested child. Very LOUD and ARTICULATED. And for some reason, I decided to out-loud-parent her and do the same, but going up one, by reading the bilingual books

In my defence, I did very quickly get a grip and stop.

She didn't, though. Went on for another 15 minutes and then was the loudest singer with the biggest actions during Rhymetime. Her dc did I mention his name was Zebediah? was more interested in making piles of books and picking his nose.

Almost as bad! My sister's car broke down on the silverlink roundabout on boxing day causing enormous disruption to the sales traffic. If she'd started off a round of 'Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes' to amuse her DCs while they waited for the AA they would have all had their teeth knocked down their throats - and deservedly so.

Apparently you've rendered OlympicRelay speechless

I didn't know we could do that.

Not even a dot.

[impressed]

Performance MNing, I say

:o

If you see any young mum doing this please don't judge. She just wants to prove that she isn't a Jeremy Kyle mum just because she is young, purely through insecurities. I do I am embarrassed to admit.

Mate of mine encountered this in the supermarket:
Performance Parent: Darling, can you fetch mummy a celeriac?
Child: No, because I don't know what one of them is!

I was horribly aware of being a PP the other week. I am very shy at the best of times and hate it when people stare at me.

4yo DD doesn't get to visit the library often (despite me working there!) and when she does shd gets a bit rowdy. After a storytime she kept running around demanding to play a game on the Very Exciting Alphabet Mat. Said game involves jumping onto a specified letter and also spelling simple words by jumping between letters.

It was infinitely worse when she insisted I join in too

JumpJockey

Can I just ask
If one were to ask one's child for something like a celeriac in the supermarket, how should one attempt to do so? whisper?

piston - as long as you ask sensibly rather than in a "look everyone little Jolyon knows what a celeriac is even though he's only 2" voice, it should be ok :)

This thread has made my cry laughing. I have probably tried to PP but DS sabotages it beautifully. When he asked if he could join the library I was well chuffed and took him in feeling a shade smug.

Librarian -"So, DS why did you want to join the library?"
DS - "I saw it on Peppa Pig."

He also dropped the f bomb on me when I was trying to show a neighbour who I'd never really chatted to before how in control of my children I was. We're good friends now

I remember fondly the absolute arse of a man I saw in Tesco loudly sending his can't-have-been-more-than-2yo child back down the dairy aisle to Mummy to check if it was skimmed or semi-skimmed milk they needed.

One: notice and remember what kind of milk you have at home, fool. Two: at best, Tarquin/Jocasta will be able to remember "red milk or green milk", seriously. Three: "Mummy" is just over there (she's the nice lady in the Boden skirt, looking pained at the cheese strings) and it's not like someone is going to get the last organic milk before you, is it? It's dead rough round here. You're clearly the only people who are buying organic. And go and ask her yourself if you're that bothered. FFS.

I do loud parenting in supermarkets. I shout "DS, get back here!" a lot, with that weird two fingered pointing at child then pointing at my eyes gesture that I developed the ability to do when DS learned to say "no" while running away.

Agree about the Tarquin bashing.Nothing wrong with the name-I had a pony called Tarquin when I was little.

But Tarquin is Malcolm and Cressida Wright-Pratt's son.

I have caught myself doing it once or twice. We all seek approval from peers dont we?

Not sure some of these descriptions qualify. It's the 'performance' element of the parenting ...the kind that would get them their Equity card and cries of 'encore!' but tbh I also admire it, they don't have this uptight reserve, but are clearly relishing being a mum or a dad, albeit in a slightly showoffy way

ExH, for all his faults, was a bit like this. You could hear raspberry noises and singing three aisles away in Tesco.

I like to use the term Ostentatious Parenting

DH and I were rolling our eyes today in John Lewis at a woman who got in the lift with her DH and DS (aged around 3). She got in and said loudly "We're at Numberjack 1, can you press Numberjack 2 bubs so that we can go up to the next floor?" Child looks blankly, husband says nowt, mum presses button and says 'There, we're going to Numberjack 2'. She then says loudly 'We just need to go and get your feet measured in case your shoes are too small bubba' and smiles at us (!) Fortunately we were saved from responding because the lift door opened and she said "Oh look bubba we're at Numberjack 2" and pushes the buggy out. We then see her grabbing the ticket thing in the John Lewis shoe queue saying to her DS very loudly "What Numberjack is it? Oh look bubba it's Numberjack 5 and Numberjack 9, Numberjack 59"

She clearly loves the Numberjacks and isn't afraid to let the world know that she is using CBeebies educational programmes to interest her DS in the use of numbers in day to day life. Her poor DS (I almost wondered if his real name was Bubba. She definitely never called him anything else) looked bored out of his skull. Her husband mutely carried the bags.

DH and I wandered past saying, in a casual oneupmanship sort of way, "Do you remember when we saw the Numberjacks Live darling?" "Oh yes, I thought it was so much more educational than the tv programme" but she was so engrossed in finding out her DS's Numberjack shoe size that she sadly took no notice.

I wish I had the guts to do the oneupmanship, it's genius!

I don't actually get that many opportunities though. Maybe if I could afford to shop in Waitrose...

Oh dear, I do tend to prattle on a bit to ds (good walking ds/oh look it's a dog, just like Nanny's isn't it) while he gives every impression of totally ignoring me. Trouble is, he's non-verbal so it's either that or walk along in silence. I thought it was preferable to people thinking I'm a neglectful parent or that we've had a row and are having a mutual sulk, but perhaps I should stop doing it now he's bigger. Soon it's going to look like he's taking his senile old mum out for an airing.

Pixel

Performance parenting is not loud parenting. I still have to do as you do and ds2 is 15.
It is loud parenting designed to impress all passers by with the fierce devotion of your dedicated parenting and the extraordinary gifts of your delightful child.

'oh look, it's a dog' = fine

' oh look it's a dachshund . That's a tricky word Nigel. Can you spell dachshund ? Oh well done. Shall we play the anagrams game now, we have time before we need to make the bread for your spelt pitta and humus party next week ' = not so fine.

Oh Jamie is right. Ostentatious parenting is much better.
It is all about the audience.

Fantastic illustration of the point, Pag!

Pixel - talking to your DCs and pointing stuff out to them is really good parenting - I do it with mine, and I love seeing other parents doing it with theirs and inevitably smile indulgently and get all gooey about how lovely it is chatting with your DCs :) I just can't bear it when parents turn up the volume and increase their output when other people come near! In my lift scenario, even if I was prattling on about the Numberjacks beforehand (which I wouldn't, I fecking hate them having had to suffer DS's long term obsession with them), I would shut up once I got in the lift, or at least carry on in a much quieter voice. I certainly wouldn't start booming and smiling at the other people in the lift to show them how utterly wonderful DC and I are :)