To wonder why MN has turned into such a bitch fest recently.

[Lucy88]

I have been coming on MN on and off for about 2 years and have always found it to be very useful for reading others advice and asking others for advice, reading reviews and getting holiday advice. There will always be times when people will disagree or not like other peoples advice, but I have been truly shocked recently at some of the posts I have read.

I am quite an outspoken person (in real life), but do try to adhere to the mantra of 'Don't put anything online that you would not be prepared to say to anyones face' but OMG even I have been surprised at the amount of bitchy, nasty responses some people have received on here recently.

I know that it is difficult when communicating just through the written word, as there is no body language or intonation to always give the correct message, but some posters really do think it is ok to be really nasty and make personal comments. Name calling seems to be the 'in thing' at the moment and I have to admit, that I just don't get it - not from grown women.

The majority of people who make these types of comments, probably wouldn't dare to say these things to people's faces, but think it is perfectly ok to do it online.

Can we at least have a week where we think about what we post and if we can't post anything constructive and polite, then perhaps don't post at all.

Fair enough, an open campaign would be much better than passive aggressive digs and snide comments, definitely.

So how can we persuade MNHQ to organise such a campaign?

flashsale It is at the heart of manipulation. You need to have your wits about you to see it for what it is (and thick skin if you challenge it).

Well ask them. Although they think we are big girls and can sort things out for ourselves on the main.

It's just so tedious, diotima.

And in the main

Yes, sneaky shit stirring is tedious, I agree.

It is, flash, but at least it's possible to run away and hide for a bit.

I think a campaign is a great idea - something intended to identify issues and increase sensitivity and awareness. I think the principle of the community doing their own policing is right, but we could be a more educated community.

YABU
Using the word "bitch" about women is pretty foul imo

Essential - I don't think you can prohibit that, although like all use of weapons, it can become indiscriminate and turn into an arms race!

I haven't prohibited it, I just think it's a mysognistic word and I dismiss everything else anyone has to say if they choose to use it. that is all.

no I dea why I got jumped on, I used something on this thread as an example of how mn hq should be more pro active and not allow vile stuff.

2shoes, no jumping from me, thought you'd be pleased to hear she had seen error of her ways :)

MN is a broad church .

It's the full moon and the invasion. Although it's been a bit bitchy before then.

Has anyone seen Brene Brown's talk on vulnerability on TEDTalks?

Why would any woman choose to use the word "bitch" or "bitchy" about other women though?

Wrt the campaign, I think market research would be the first step, to canvas the opinions of all members. It could include questions such as, do you object to the use of words like bitch and cunt in thread titles?

Has MNHQ ever done a membership survey?

Essential - As an expression of strong disapproval! To you it's beyond the pale, but not to everyone. Depending on who's using it, it may not mean that much.

There was a discussion on the use of 'cunt' recently. To some it's unutterable, to other's not. One poster said she uses it because "there are times when no other word will do" (not a direct quote)

flashsale And a request for submissions (proposed rules/guidelines/advice).

I don't personally like the word "bitch"/"bitching" - I think "bully"/"bullying" is a better choice of words because they are non gender-specific. And more specific.

You're kidding, diotima. Mine would go on for pages.

Incidentally, that TEDTalk by Brene Brown is at: -

www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

She talks about the balance between being open and honest (and exposing yourself in the process) and putting a rationalising distance between yourself and others. There's something very touching about it specifically to do with her. Good for anyone feeling a bit wounded to watch.

Aw, thanks.

I will watch it.

flash I reckon once you started thinking about it you'd distill it down to a few principles. Explaining, elaborating and illustrating might take a bit of space. It would be an interesting exercise. I might have a try for my own sake.