Men that won't / can't cook

[Bennifer]

Am I unreasonable to think it?s a little strange that there are men who either can?t or won?t cook, and also that they are supported in this by their partners.

I have to admit to having a personal angle on this. As far as I know, my 33 year old brother has never cooked a meal in his life. He lived at home until he was 21, and then moved out with his partner. In the past when I?ve asked him about it, he has jokingly said that when he has picked up a knife to chop an onion, his partner has taken it off him.

I can see the logic to this if one partner is a SAHP, for example, but neither of them is. His partner works long hours, and weekends, so rather than him cooking the meal when he gets home, he waits until his partner gets home. This can mean that they don?t eat as healthily as perhaps they could, because when you get in at 7 or 8, with no food, it?s tempting to get something quick and easy.

Is this a little strange, or am I unreasonable? I know it?s none of my business really.

My DH thinks he can cook.

I do the cooking in this house!

'My husband has cooked for me on special occasions around 3/4 times.
It has gone in the bin and substituted by a takeaway every time. He just doesnt 'get' it. It takes him 11 minutes to cut up a Pepper. 11 freaking minutes. I am more than happy to do all the cooking in my house, preparing in advance if i wont be there too.'

See this doesn't help. How is someone supposed to learn if they aren't allowed to make mistakes. It takes time as well to build up to a fair speed. I can imagine you standing over their shoulder tutting.

some men are enabled to be lazy gits by women who do everything for them
and then the woman feels martyred and moans about wifework

quite frankly i wouldn't tolerate a manchild doing sweet fuck all,nor would i facilitate it by skivvying about after him

if you dont work and are housewife,then yes its reasonable that the non worker does the bulk dometic and cooking chores

but in case of both work, no way should the man be sat on his bahookie
but women should stop being martyr and skivvying for lazy men

My DH does cook but not very often I on the other hand haven't hoovered in nearly 27 years. We both work full time have kids, pets etc I hate hoovering , he hates cooking perfect solution for both of us

My DP cooks the majority of cooking as I'm rubbish at it. I get stressed out with timings etc...... I know it's not really rocket science I just don't really like cooking. DP works full time whereas I only work part time but even before he realised how crap I was at cooking he did the majority as he enjoys it. Whenever I offer to cook DP and dc know they are getting mummy special, tuna pasta bake.

DH and I both do the cooking.

There are periods when we split it pretty equally.

Times when I'm working more so he does it all.

Times when I'm working less so I do it all.

There's no difference in the quality of the cooking. We both cook from scratch, we both use fresh ingredients, we tend to cook different types of meal, but only because, for example, he does Chinese and I do Indian. I only cook vegetarian, he sometimes does meat for him and the children.

It really annoys me when women enable their partners to be incapable and then moan about how they have to do everything.

My DH is a fab cook...but it's literally the only thing he does in the house. He doesn't clear up after his cooking either. His DM taught him to cook, but clearing up was done by her and their staff.

I would swap cooking for ironing in a heartbeat. Heck, even him being able to put on a load of washing without turning everything grey or pink would be a start!

Personally I don't think oh would of married me if I couldn't cook

why?cant he cook
is cooking your big contribution to the marriage

There's cooking and cooking, isn't there? I do agree that basic meal preparation is an essential life skill, and that should include basic things like boiling and grilling things. But it's possible to eat ok whilst not doing much actual cooking. Not really my kind of thing- I like proper food!- but you could put together a week's menu without using an oven, whilst being healthyish and probably not much less varied than average.

Mon- jacket spud with cheese and beans
Tue- smoked mackerel and salad
Wed- sardines on toast
Thurs- naice ham, salad, jacket spud
Fri- cheese, ham and tomato toastie
Sat- pitta, hummus, salad
Sun- corned beef, jacket spud, beans

And this is without even using pasta or oven chips, both of which probably just about qualify as cooking. Not everyone's cup of tea, but any able adult ought to be capable of that level of preparation. If my DH couldn't do any more than this, I'd want to take over the cooking. But it isn't so shit that you could complain about it.

However, proper cooking is a skill. yes, anyone should be able to apply heat to food to render it safe to eat. But seasoning it, making it tasty- not everyone is able to do that. Some people just don't notice. My sister can cook in that she can prepare meat, veg, carbs etc. But if she has to make something more complex, while it will be safely prepared, she won't season it as nicely as I will, and she's not as good at throwing ingredients together. She just doesn't have the knack.

I'm strange! I never ever cook for myself, I heat my lovely ready meals up in the oven.

I cook for my son because I have to, he gets lovely fresh soups and pasta sauces etc because I want to fill him full of good stuff, Ive even started growing vegetables in pots outside to get him interested in fresh organic veggies (gawd, im boring myself now)

However, I loathe cooking, its dull, I make a mess and I hate the clearing up afterwards, so I'll carry on doing as little a possible.

Each to their own OP, its not an essential skill these days, nobody starves because they can't or won't cook.

Personally I really enjoy cooking and eating

But I am really irritated by grown adults of either sex who cant cook and especially those that seem proud of it!

I have taught/am still teaching all 3 of my sons to cook as I would do my daughters if I had any because it is a life skill.

My brothers can cook because my mum taught them to.

for some of you its like a badge of honour cant cook,dont cook no siree
its not good to be so hapless

Funnily enough, there is no correlation at all between men being unwilling/unable to cook and being able to eat for England.

I think all parents should teach their children how to cook. If people haven't been taught by their parents, then it's not too difficult to master the basics of cookery. If I were your brother's partner I would make him learn! I've met a few people, both male and female, who see nothing wrong in not being able to cook and ended up living on ready meals. One didn't even own any pans. Not that there's anything wrong with a ready meal once in a while but it can't be healthy to have one every day, and they can be quite expensive.

I know people who can't do maths/drive/DIY/fix cars/sew/ (pick those that apply), they are all about as useful as cooking.

If you want a man who can cook, don't get together with one who can't/won't. And especially don't get ne whowon't and then whinge about it.

My OH doesn't cook at home, he can manage some very basic meals and has done when I've been unwell or away but on the whole I cook and he clears up.

If he had sole charge the weeks menu would consist of

Pasta and pesto
Jacket potato, beans and cheese
Quiche and salad
Fish fingers and chips
Takeaway
Tinned macaroni cheese
Packet pasta with cheese and broccoli sauce

Best all round if I do the cooking.

Choosing not to cook doesn't make you hapless, I can do it, I just don't want to, especially as I don't finish work until 8.30pm and have to come home and feed and put the baby to bed, cooking is the last thing I can be arsed doing.

I would go away for the weekend- leave him with the DCs and he would have to sort it out.

Ready meals are very bad for you, full of too much salt,sugar and additives. Particularly bad for children.

Ready meals are my choice, of course I wouldn't feed them to my child.

Are you cooking separate meals from scratch for your DC then? Seems a lot of work not to eat them too.

Only read page one.

I don't know a single woman who can't or doesn't cook yet know many men like this. I think it is clearly more common for men not to cook so Im not sure why posters are making out its not and being a bit stroppy about your mention of men specifically.

In the case of your brother and his wife taking the knife off of him . . . I wonder if there is an element of wanting to keep him dependent on her. Perhaps i am off there but that's what sprung to my mind. Either that or perhaps she is quite traditional. Either way she shouldn't be stopping him from cooking if that's what he wants to do.

Is that post for me exotic ?

I cook all his stuff on a Monday when I'm off work, and freeze it for the week, he's only 15m and still struggles with anything too big or lumpy so its a little on the mushy/bland side for me.