and will DS really hate me in the future?

[wineoclocktimeyet]

DS (aged 7) is football mad. He goes to training once a week after school plays for a local U8 team on a sunday.

I've always thought he's good, and silently that he's their best player! but always put it down to proud mummyness.

Since the start of this season though, we have been approached by 3 scouts from local professional teams (we live in London), who have said that he is good and asked if he can go to a trial at one of their academys.

DH and I have been in agreement that we dont want that - DS is also a keen cricket player and swimmer and like all 7 year olds gets very tired.

Things moved along a bit after a cup game last weekend when the senior scout from a local premiership team approached us after the match and said they wanted to sign DS on an exclusive contract until he is 14. . He is 7 years old FFS.

The money would be lovely! BUT he would have to train with them 3-4 times a week all year around (ie also in the cricket season) and basically this means he would have to stop all his other activities inc Beavers etc.

We have said no. I know its potentially a great opportunity for him BUT he is only 7 and I feel if he really is that good, then he will still be that good at 14, 15, 16. I dont want to limit any of his options at such a young age.

BUT - a couple of the other parents overheard this scout and the news seems to have spread and I must admit I'm really suprised that everyone seems to think we are doing the wrong thing. As far as I know, DS and the other boys dont seem to know, but I'm not sure how long that will last.

Sorry, this has turned into an epic post, but my question are we being unreasonable to say no?

and has anyone else been in this position?

Hey OP,

My DNephew was signed by a big club when he was 7. It took over his life (and that of his family) until he was 14, when he was dropped because he was "too small" (never mind his growth spurt at 16 - he's now almost 6 ft FFS). Up until that point his only aim in life was to play football, to the detriment of everything else (including his studies). To be summarily dropped at 14 devastated him. My brother spent an absolute fortune keeping up with his training and is still resentful of it. It took a lot of hard work and even more cash to get his academic studies back on track.

2 of my cousins were also offered excl contracts at age 7 or 8 - their parents said no and allowed them to continue playing for the local clubs. It did them no harm and both were signed for Academy's by age 14 and 1st Div teams at age 16. Both are still playing for a living (though at lower league status).

I honestly think 7 is too young, and 7 years too long (Plus you need to check the contracts - DN wasn't even allowed to play for his School team whilst contracted - now that was an oversight on my brothers part, but easily done.)

As the mother of a son who plays football 24/7 and a wife of a DH who was a professional footballer please let your son do this. My father also played county cricket. These are exciting experiences and achievements.
Other countries (Australia, USA, RSA) consider this kind of thing to be just as important as intellectual achievement.
Your boy is gifted. He should pursue that if HE WANTS TO.

So if you sign up does he have to continue playing til he is 14 come what may or does it mean he just has to play with them until he is 14?

I dont get why the OP's son would be resentful later. This isnt a winning lottery ticket the OP is turning down. If the lad is still good at 11 and is keen then there will be opportunities without doubt. Football clubs have a voracious appetite for talent. If he gets to 11 and by that point isnt any better than his peers then all he will have missed out on is the exclusivity. He will still have been able to play for school and local clubs.

No one knows whether he is gifted or just developmentally ahead of his peers. The extra training wont make him more gifted.

I agree with Gnome. If they are this interested in him at 7 then chances are they will be just as interested when he's a teenager. Intensive training at a young age can be incredibly hard on a little body. I know it's not the same sport but a friend of mine was a gymnast and ballet dancer from a young age, very talented, but in her 20s she decided she didn't want to carry on so she stopped and had a family. Due to starting so young and training so hard she now, at 58, can barely move as all her joints have seized up with arthritis and she bitterly regrets sacrificing her health for something that she didn't really want as a career.

I would say, let him be a child for now, there is plenty of time for him to feel the pressure of contracts and commitments. If he's still go at 15 then he can make another go of it then.

I would ask him. If this is something he wants to do, that talent needs to be nurtured so that he can reach his full potential. It is a lot for someone his age but there is always 'what if?' if, unfortunately, there were no opportunities like this when he is older.

My DP is good at football and was headhunted from a young age but his mum could not afford to take him to these places and often moved him around, so she didn't want to commit when she knew she would be moving. He talks about how he wishes he had been given a chance and is a bit resentful.

Another friend's nephew is doing similar to what these clubs want for your son and he loves it. It is a huge burden at times and the mum (single parent) can't do everything she would like to but he enjoys it, even though he is only 7.

Ask him, tell him about the responsibility and what he would have to give up on. He might say no, he might say yes. If he says no, you know where he stands with it. If he says yes, give the scout a ring and arrange a meeting with your son so they can speak to him about it too. They can tell if he will have the dedication and enthusiasm too. It is a great opportunity and of it worked out, would change his life.

I hope it all works out and do what's best for all your family.

I agree with all the people who say that a 7 year contract sounds fishy plus the bit about the money. They are right - there is a lower age limit for a proper contract and the only money involved is yours - taking them too and from training and games.

Below are the FA rules on football academies

www.thefa.com/TheFA/RulesandRegulations/FARegulations/NewsAndFeatures/2003/Regs_ProgforExcellence.aspx

If he has been asked by a genuine scout then it could be for a development squad which is a kind of pre academy.

If you don't want to go for a full academy you could find out if there are any associated development squads which do extra training for talented footballers without the full committment of an academy. In our area there is one which has close links with a 1st division club. DS attends it and really enjoys it - he gets extra training from professional coaches (some of whom have worked at academies) and gets to play with other good footballers and have games against academy sides.

But its only an hour a week and only 10 minutes from where we live. Several of the boys have gone on to join academies.

I don't know whether you have other DC's but if so you need to consider them, they might really resent having to fit their lives round their brthers sporting commitments

I tihnk if yo accept you have to linit the amount of time he spends there, 3 nights a week for 90 mins trianing and an hours commute each way and a match on saturday would be just too much

maybe he will resent you turning it down, maybe others will resent you for turning family life upside down

my instinct would be to say no for 7 year contract but try it for 6 months and chat as i think he needs beavers etc, but not necessarily other sports,

Round here they start scouting when the kids are 10 -plenty of time yet.

I think you need to find out more information before you make a decision.

This could be a fantastic opportunity for your son to participate and train for a sport he loves - don't turn it down without doing proper research. Remember that it is not forever. If he decides that he doesn't like it, he doesn't have to go anymore.

My (8 year old) son is very enthusiastic about football, plays in a local league at weekends, plays all the time at school, is out in the garden at home whenever he can etc. He said this morning that he wanted to go to a boarding school like Hogwarts but one that does football stuff (he suggested that they would have lessons like how to build goal posts :)!).

Unfortunately, even though he really loves it, he's just not good enough to get scouted but if he was/did I would definitely find out all the facts before deciding.

Thank you everyone.

I've spoken to the FA and as has been mentioned a number of times, the 7 year bit doesnt sound quite right. He did have some ID though and it is, of course, possible that I misunderstood him.

So, we will wait to see if he approaches us again and make sure we get some proper details of contracts etc.

I will update in case anyone is interested. ;)

Do not do it let him hate you

My brother was football mad and very good was scouted for a London team
At 15 he contracted on football had so much training he pretty much failed his GCSEs but no one cared because he was going be be this football ace

Roll on 7 years he's (21) he nerver made it out of the reserves played seconed division for a while and even played in Greece

He has no qualifications to show he's getting a bit old to be discoved by man u and now mostly sits at home he is depressed in my view now has to pay a club to train with them tp to keep up his fitness yes he pays them

It's all very sad if you look across the London clubs and look at the amount of English players than come from their academies and are now playing first team football very few

Gym is not the same it's born out of home grown talent all the Bristish gymnast are from grass fproots gym clubs the same is not true for foot ball

Get your son a education your more likey to win the lotto that be Bristish and come up from the academies

Good luck, OP.
There is NO WAY on Earth I would commit my 7yo to a many yrs contract, either.
If they are that keen to have him they will let you (him) commit in a way that seems balanced & sane to you.

DONT

DONY

DONT

DONT

Just DONT do it!

Simple reason. 7yos are fickle. As you say he is an all round sportsman. He has other activities he enjoys.

(a) you risk turning somethin he is good into a chore

(b) more seriously - the academies drive this mantra that your child is the next Beckham. Beckhams come along once in a generation. Your boy may be good, very good, excellent infact - but the fact remains that after football, a short lived career even if it runs its natural course - isn't well paid for the majority. A few will make it a s jobbing presenters. However the majority wont.

I've seen it from a work perspective - kids chuck away their education becasue they are after all 'the next Beckham' and wont ever need a job - then they are dumped by the academies when they are 15/16/17 and left with nothing to fall back on.

(c) the financial burden will be yours for some years. The fetching, the travelling. Even club apprentices (one step below professionals) only get the equivalent of JSA until they make their place in one of the upper squads.

Big clubs take in 200 odd apprentices a year. Some last. Most don't . Thats a hell of a lot of disappointed children. And children are an endles source and renewable commodity to clubs.

Not only that - if he is that talented - he'll still be talented in 10 years.

I would not be keen on this

And I'd take other parents disapproval with a pinch of salt. It may not be totally borne out concern for the child

Im a dad! and i m frankly disgusted you turned it down! no loving parent would do that! every little boy in the country would sell there head to be signed by a prem team!! he will always think what if for the rest of his life!! you say if he that good he will get signed later.. well that is never guaranteed and this could have been his chance!!! terrible decision and poor foresight! hope he can forgive you later in life when the full meaning of this hits him!!

there speaks the voice of someone who lives his life through his child.

An old friend of mine was scouted at an early age, and trained up to be an professional sportsman. And then he had an accident, and lo and behold, he wasnt going to be a sportsman any more, and was out on his arse. So the poor sod was left high and dry, trying to scrabble to get the education he'd missed out on during his teenage years, and working as a private security guard.

DH just reminded me - some cough 35 years ago he was signed to a club - broke his leg and they dropped him like hot cakes. Fortunately he had a GPO apprenticship to fall back on, which did day release and ultimately a degree - but he left school without a scooby to his name.

Sorry haven't read thread yet, a friend had this exact issue with her DS when he was 7. She turned down the offer as he wouldn't even be able to play for his junior school team anymore. She wants him to enjoy football but not to the extent of his peer and school relationships being affected

I think it is your decision, not DS's. And I think you are probably making the right one - but even if you are not, it will not 'ruin his life'. He is 7. Encourage him in this, but don't let it take over his life (or the family life).

I wouldn't do it! A childhood is more important!

Most 7 year olds would "sell their head" to live in Disneyland. Doesn't mean it's reasonable of even desirable.

or even reasonable

Sorry, that was to Sammitalktalk !!!!!!