and will DS really hate me in the future?

[wineoclocktimeyet]

DS (aged 7) is football mad. He goes to training once a week after school plays for a local U8 team on a sunday.

I've always thought he's good, and silently that he's their best player! but always put it down to proud mummyness.

Since the start of this season though, we have been approached by 3 scouts from local professional teams (we live in London), who have said that he is good and asked if he can go to a trial at one of their academys.

DH and I have been in agreement that we dont want that - DS is also a keen cricket player and swimmer and like all 7 year olds gets very tired.

Things moved along a bit after a cup game last weekend when the senior scout from a local premiership team approached us after the match and said they wanted to sign DS on an exclusive contract until he is 14. . He is 7 years old FFS.

The money would be lovely! BUT he would have to train with them 3-4 times a week all year around (ie also in the cricket season) and basically this means he would have to stop all his other activities inc Beavers etc.

We have said no. I know its potentially a great opportunity for him BUT he is only 7 and I feel if he really is that good, then he will still be that good at 14, 15, 16. I dont want to limit any of his options at such a young age.

BUT - a couple of the other parents overheard this scout and the news seems to have spread and I must admit I'm really suprised that everyone seems to think we are doing the wrong thing. As far as I know, DS and the other boys dont seem to know, but I'm not sure how long that will last.

Sorry, this has turned into an epic post, but my question are we being unreasonable to say no?

and has anyone else been in this position?

I can see where you are coming from re his age but big teams like that don't sign kids for their academies after the age of about 10. I think that if you understand that then if you are approached again in a year or 2 then maybe consider it. My cousin was scouted by several teams at that age, including Liverpool, Man city and Everton, he went with Man city as it was the one his parents felt was the best, despite being Everton fans, he only lasted a few years and left by the age of 14 and he was never paid.

Mainly on the fence about this, but my first concern would be that finding out exactly who these scouts are, whether they are genuine, and what they are actually offering.

If weighing it up you could also get medical advice on potential implications for his health of so much training (plus school).

I think you should discuss with him and explain the amount of training. Presumably he could stop if he'd had enough, just he couldn't move to another club - they can't force him to continue with it.

My DS1 is football mad (nearly 6) and I'd let him do it provided there was no penalty for stopping if he had enough or didn't turn out to be good enough.

We have had personal experince of this when our DS was 8.

My opinion is that 7 is too young. If he is good, he may still be good when he is older and in a better position to make a choice. On the other hand if he doesn't have the chance to explore other options e.g. cricket, he will never know.

Its easy for kids to be star struck by the offer but they are too young to see the down sides. It is a world away from playing with your friends as a team - it is a huge committment, tiring and disruptive for the rest of the family and his own life/ friendships/ schoolwork and you can do it for years before being dropped at short notice.

This is a good article to back up my point
www.guardian.co.uk/football/david-conn-inside-sport-blog/2009/sep/09/chelsea-fifa-premier-league-academies

Re explaining it to your son - emphasise the things he will lose out on - won't be able to play for his team, no time to see his friends, no time for other activities, playing football only with boys that he doesn't know.

A friend's son was signed and gave up after a few weeks because he went from loving football to dreading it due to all the competitive and idividualist behaviour.

No because my son's 1/2 bros knees were too shot for adult professional games as a result of too much too young intensive training when he was still growing. He made it to the National under 21's side so clearly had the talent. He really regrets training too much to young now, as he lost the chance to do it as an adult.

Look at the injury problems of Michael Owen - he's one of the few that has stayed at the top flight.

At ths age the WHOLE child needs to develop -so things like learning to swim (very good for you physically in the long term if again you don't do it intensely), to socialise (being a good player in the top flight means being superb at teamwork and 7 year olds learn this from humble playdate etc), mental development are all just as important.

A variety of physical activity is best at 7 so that overall strength, suppleness, and flexibility can be developed. Let him play cricket, let him have the time to try ballet if he wants to! You may yet discover his real forte is tennis. Young children should get the chance to try as many different activities as possible. This isn't some 3rd world slum where the scout's offer may be his ONLY chance of a decent life.

If he's really that good they will be sniffing around again when he's 10, 12, 14, 16.

I too am a no, like you.
I was a swimmer and was the youngest in the under 15's team, I was 10 so should of been in the under 12's but I left them and the under 15's standing at county level, but the total training left me cold and at 13 I gave up, I loved swimming, still do, but not at that time, school went on and after I was ploughing up and down the pool, every night!
i was exhusted, and the training got me down, I missed school disco's the works, I was tipped too my Mum and Dad I could be representing England, as I was so good, (I had a aunt by marrage who had been a commonwealth swimming coach and a cousin who had got a gold blue peter badge for her swimming...but for the life of me I don't know why :) she also stared as pg 3 twice for saving people's lives as a lfe guard :) I don't think that was blue Peter related )
sometime like now I think..if only...but I wasn't the grade, if I was it would have been.

I agree with you OP - I would say no.

Have you tried asking him? I would have given anything to play one full 90 minutes of professional football and if knowing that I had a better chance than most of doing that, I was thwarted by a parent, I'd be livid and WOULD resent them deeply. If he misses out on youth development with a professional club, then at 14, 15 or 16 they are probably not going to be interested.

You need to check and double check what is being offered because it doesn't quite measure up, I've known people who've been on schoolboy forms at Football league clubs and what you are being told sounds iffy:

I am pretty sure that they can't play for the club's Academy until 9 years old. So he can't sign be offered Academy Forms before that date.

The notion of an 'exclusive contract for 7 years' doesn't ring true either: a minor can't sign a legally binding contract. Players can and do move between academy sides. Danny Sturridge was at Coventry, Villa and Man City's Academies.

I will be amazed if they are prepared to commit to a guaranteed 7 year period of time with the academy. Picking out the kids who will make it is a bit of a crapshoot, so progress is reviewed continually and there are annual culls of players that aren't going to make the grade.

I think it's very disruptive to the rest of the family - and I'm not sure it has a great impact on other DC. My best friend is a former professional sportswoman, and looking back she can now see what an effort it was for her parents to support her in her talent. She doesn't say this herself, but I suspect it also meant that her younger sibling always had to fit his life around her training needs, with various effects on his own personality and talents.

I think he will resent you if he finds out when he is older. Yes he will still be good when he is older but they play in the premiership league from 16, he will need to training for years before that, that is why they start them so young. If my child had that much for a talent that he had been scouted on more than one occasion I would have to at least get more info, have a meeting with them.

My ds (9) is signed for a professional club and loves all the training. He is doing really well and we are very proud of him.
I dont understand this signing for the next seven years. At this age they are only allowed to be signed for one year. Once they reach 12 I think it is two years until they are 16 when they are either released or taken into the youth side of that particular club. My son has a contract and is not allowed to play football anywhere else. I have all the paperwork and legal stuff and the handbook clearly states that it has to be one year contracts until a certain age.
And what do you mean about the money would be lovely? The training and kit etc are all provided free of charge but there is no money involved until they reach 16. My son trains 3 times a week plus matches, it is a big commitment but he definitely doesnt get paid!

YANBU... If he's brilliant at seven he'll still be brilliant at 11. Then he'll have more idea what path to take.

DP reckons you should let him have the opportunity and you'd be mad to turn it down.

He also thinks there's something fishy about the 7 years and all year round stuff, so you need to find out what's really going on...

It's a difficult one. If it really is a 7 year commitment then it is far too young. Even if it isn't, what happens if, a couple of years down the line, he isn't really enjoying it but by then has lost touch with all his friends except the other people at the academy who will reject him if he leaves? How hard will it be if at 16, having lived the last 9 years of his life in an atmosphere where your main sense of self-worth comes from being a footballer and that's THE thing that counts, he isn't chosen as a pro (and most of them aren't) and he has to make his way on civvy street, using skills he's neglected and with the main source of his sense of self missing? Or, worse, if the intensive training damages his joints and he's no longer even a good amateur footballer? (This happened to an acquaintance, it really does mess up your sense of who you are.)

But on the other hand if he's football mad then he will resent you if he finds out later.

Find out exactly what the terms of the contract are and how much pressure there is...

The earliest age a child can be signed is when they are in year 4, therefore playing for U9. Clubs do take them before this for training but cannot sign them before this age group.
As I said previously, it is against FA regulations to sign a child for more than a one year contract at a time before the age of 12. My son has two parents evenings a year where his progress is reviewed, then we find out in April whether he will be resigned for the following year.It is not all about ability either, obviously this is very important but they place great emphasis on attitude, concentration, time keeping etc. I know of boys who have been released due to bad behaviour despite being very skilled players. So all of this is reviewed annually. The seven year contract sounds very suspicious to me.

ask him, as I think tjhats a good place to start

but I do not think YABU, he is a mere baby. I wouyld feel just the same

I had an ex who was asked to join Scotlands under 18's, his parents said no and now in his 20's he really resents them for it.

Mind, he wasn't 7! Unsure about this one.

This is a tough one, I think at the moment your ds is too young. But I would talk to the scouts and your ds and maybe talk about the possibility of joining in a few years time.

I found this www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/4938593/Football-academies-kicking-and-screaming.html quite interesting.

In my experience (working in youth football ) you are being some what misled. There is absolutely no need for an exclusive contract at 7- the contracts are pretty worthless and easily broken.

Why not say to the club, 'we would love ds to train with you buthe can only do X times a week at the moment because of other activities'. Chances are they will still invite him along to train. Then just see where it leads- by the age off 11 they are usually more serious about ensuring exclusivity.

But I would definitely give him the chance, true sporting talent is a wonderful gift.

My DD (7) trains more than that at gymnastics and she'll never see a penny from it! In fact it costs us an arm and a leg!

IMO at 7 life needs to have balance and time for opportunities. This is one opportunity. I would talk to DS about the pros and cons but I would also frame it as needing to be a family decision, not let him have the responsibility for it.

When she came on MN, Judy Murray said let kids keep playing a range of sports & having fun. I recall Andy also did a spell at high level football and Jamie is a great golfer.

One of my sisters sons was scouted by a big London club. They were asked if he would sign on to play exclusively for them.
They thought long and hard about it and declined. The travelling for training would take at least an hour and a half each way, three times a week.
It would have been disruptive to the rest of the family and cost an arm and a leg in petrol.
He is now 16 and plays rugby at county level.
Neither her, BiL or nephew regrets the decision.

I think if you take the chance and defer for a few years it will be fine. Ds1 is 15 and goes to a high school where the youth team of a premiership club go to school. From what he has said these boys are highly disciplined, well behaved if a little arrogant and have to keep up good grades. If they don't behave the right way there are consequences from the club.

Instilling that kind of attitude into a child of preteen/teen age will do them a lot of good whatever they end up doing career wise in their adult lives.