SO FURIOUS.....Or am I being a bit of an old fart?

[ginger19]

Hurry on this one cause she is on her way over....I think.
Old friend.VERY crazy fun, loving etc. Has been there during the hard times. She is dramatic.It is always about her and her crazy dramas. Conversation always is about her. Sometimes I find this tiresome....I digress.

She dropped her ds at mine sat afternoon for sleepover to celebrate my DS turning 5. Agreed she would pick him up at 4 on sun. I was hosting a small party for family and friends and told her several times I would be tired.I have a 1 year old DD , and lots of family to cater for . She has a history of being late to pick him up....By hours. This has annoyed me so so much in the past, that I have promised my self NEVER to allow it to happen again. It invariably does as the boys are best friends,I love her and him, and I want every one to have a good time.

She is a single mum and struggles financially. Her life is not without hardship and I appreciate this and want to help...She is going out, having a night out, i GET IT...It is now 9.00. SCHOOL IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

I called her about 10 times before giving up and putting the boys to bed.My DS has ear ache. He is now in my bed . Now they are sleeping I get a TEXT .Sorry I missed your calls. I was sleeping..On my way over.

Her DS Has not even blinked. Not bothered by being left here for 2nd night in a row. I texted back." Come in the morning before 8 am.

I like a night out as much as the next girl. But you have to be wasted not to call/ wake up to pick up your kid.I feel it is not fair on any of us.
Am I being an up tight bitch?

I would go ballistic. YANBU

What will you say tomorrow.

No you're not being an uptight bitch!

Your friend is being a cheeky mare.

Yanbu, I can never imagine doing this to someone, and I'm a lone parent with a 5yr old DS too. Nights out come second, your child comes first!

God no. She's completely out of order. Don't know what you can do about it though, read her the riot act and never have her ds over again.

Poor little boy, I'm sure he's fine at yours but he must be missing his mum

No you aren't. Just because her DS is unphased by being just left (which in a sad way is worse somehow, it implies he's used to it :( ) doesn't make it ok to just leave him somewhere. She knows that you won't "do anything" - let's face it, nobody is going to throw her child on the streets, once he's left with dumped on them, so as long as she turns up eventually before someone gets pissed off enough to phone SS she has it all sorted.
I feel for her boy though, no child should be dumped like left luggage and be used to mummy not coming back when she said she would, especially not at 5 :(

YOu are not being an uptight bitch, and YADNBU.

Absolutely unacceptable tgo be 5 hours late collecting her DS on a Sunday and to be uncontactable. Very as well that her DS doesn't even seem to mind being let down.

I would suggest that you don't discuss it with her tomorrow morning as you'll be pushed for time, but then I think it's time for a well worded email, so you can say whay you really want to say and not what might come out in the heat of the moment.

Crikey no, YANBU, I would be livid. Talk about taking the piss.

You are not being uptight at all but the thing is, will she be on time tomorrow morning? It might be best to let her come for him tonight, that way she'll only have messed up one of your days. If she messes up tomorrow you will be rightly even more raging, and may not be able to come back from the ensuing row!

Have you posted about this friend before? It rings a bell. I used to have a friend a bit like that, would always be late, or not show up to stuff with no warning, just not answer the phone! We are no longer friends, mainly because I left the city where she lives, and with her terrible habit of never calling we obviously drifted apart as I wasn't willing to do all the running! The icing on the cake was that she didn't come to my leaving do on the very night before I left town, with no idea if or when I would be back, that hurt a lot.

As for longer term, I know your DCs are close, but it does seem like she's taking the piss. Maybe try and do things that don't rely on her, like arrange to take him home to hers, so you're not waiting around. I know it's hard when you love someone and they treat you like shit, this doesn't only happen in romantic relationships! I have a habit of making friends with unreliabe people who let me down, but I always forgive them because they are good company and I care about them.

Good luck with your friendship, you have to put your foot down eventually I think, or she won't change x

Your friend is being very rude...she does this to you because she knows you will help her out and allow her to take the piss....I too am the same as you with a similar friend ( although now she doesn't seem too bad) ....
If you aren't happy for this to happen again you will need to have words with her...or next time she asks just say No.....I'm practising this word too

I agree with nightowl, as soon as I read that bit about "before 8am" I was thinking "she won't be there on time" and I don't even know her.

But I doubt the arrangement for you to take him home would work either. You might take him home and find that she's not even there.

Do you know anyone else in her family? Could you perhaps arrange with a grandparent to take her son from you if she lets him and you down by failing to keep to proper arrangements and collection times?

I was thinking not coming until 4pm after a sleepover was taking the piss but to just not turn up at all (& only text when pestered) is waaaay beyond acceptable. YADNBU.

YANBU at all my sister regularly does this at any chance she gets, it's expected now if anybody has him he will be there for
2-3 days

Unbelievable- YADNBU

Has she turned up?

YADNU. I had a sleepover who wasn't picked up till 4.30 instead of 11 and I was LIVID. A whole extra night is beyond acceptable. I don't see how you could be asleep from 4pm-9pm even if you had been out the night before, surely you would be asleep in the morning. It musta been one craaaazy night. Poor little kid. He is better off with you.

I know someone like your friend. She once left her daughter for ten days!!!!! Kid unphased as used to it!!

Your friend is bloody cheeky and i would not not not no way never be offering sleepovers/tea/ playing stuff for the next few months at least.

She sounds like a royal piss taker.

I find confronting her very hard.I have never posted about her...When it comes to crunch time I forgive.I tell my self that it is not so bad, that she deserves a night on the tiles and her DS is at home here.I have not made her come tonight as he is already sleeping .He does not wake up at night and is no trouble.A sweet lovely boy.HOWEVER.Right now my dd now crying and I have had enough

That woman is so out of line. I would not have her child over again. How can someone do this not only to a friend, but to their kid??

Feeling used. When I picked him up at the park I said so so clearly.YOU must come and get him at 4. I said it a few times, then repeated just as I left.

I wouldnt confront someone like that. Would they really listen? They might have heard it all before.

I keep my distance from my friend who is similar, i dont care how nice she is.

YASNBU! Fucking rude.

the kids are only 5, your DS will get another friend soon enough

then just leave her to it.

I know i sound harsh, but she will continue to act like this and cause you to question yourself. its not a healthy relationship.

YADNU. I, too, thought 4pm after a night out was late. I've gone out once and left my DC overnight with her GP's and was there to pick her up at 9:30am the next day. Sleeping?! The mind boggles.

I'd confront her and I know you don't want to but if you don't she'll keep thinking she can walk all over you. It's not on. I'm so sorry you've been put in this position.

It is hard to say I will not have him over again.I need to widen my social circle .For my ds as well as myself.I probably rely on her company too much.