to expect a 12 year old to be capable of making me a cup of tea?!

[minikimmi]

So, my 12 yr old neice was here to visit her newborn cousin. Her dad came with her but had to pop out for an hour so I was left with niece, my newborn, and my 3 other DCs all under 6. Lots of offers from niece to feed baby, change baby etc but when I asked her if she could pop the kettle on and make me a cuppa she said she 'wasn't allowed to touch the kettle'. What the actual f**k? I'm biting my tongue here trying not to ask why on Earth not?? I haven't heard any tales of her scalding herself in the past or anything. AIBU? Am I going to have to wait at least another 7 or 8 years before any of mine can make me a bloody cuppa? Please restore my faith in the youth of today!

I never made a cup of tea until I was in my early teens I think. Then at age 13 I made a drink for my Grandad. It was with a jug kettle. I rebalanced incorrectly as it was so heavy and I was inexperienced, kettle promptly fell on me, serious burns all over my stomach of which I still have faint scars.

Just saying!

So when is it ok for kids to be drinking tea then? Am not being judgy about the 9 year olds having it, just genuinely curious, I don't think I started on tea until I was at least 14! And then it was filled with about 4 sugars and loads of milk!

Not tea related, bbut did anyone see that programme ages ago about little kids being given sharp knives when they were really little, like 1 and 2? I can't remember the name of the 'parenting theory' that underpinned it, but the theory is basically that they can see you doing these things and have more idea how to use these implements than we give them credit for?

I don't think that's a good idea by the way, I get the reasoning that they might well know what to do, but they just don't have the necessary coordination IMO!

I was drinking tea from the age of about 2.. I never had any health issues and never have had..

Thanks everyone. Ds1 and ds2 can both use sharp knives as they cut their apples up every morning. With that in mind, ds1 should be able to cut up veg if I show him how. Eggs is a good idea too. We regularly have fried eggs, and eggy bread so I could get him doing that too.

Well I didn't learn how to make tea and coffee until I was... Not sure, maybe 18? I didn't start drinking tea until I was in my 20s, and my mum never showed me how to do it.

It certainly wasn't the case though that I was wrapped in cotton wool or not allowed to be independent. At 13 I was taking my Guide patrol away for the weekend, cooking all meals on an open fire with very little supervision, Enid Blyton style- those were the days!

So I could cook a 3 course meal virtually from scratch, but not make a cuppa!

None of my dcs drink tea or coffee but they've all been able to make them for years (youngest is now 10 - so I'd say from about the age of 6ish, maybe 7). they make them for me, or dh, or for guests.
Not sure why people are talking about the 'weight' of a full kettle. Why would you be filling the kettle ? Just above min does enough for two mugs on my kettle. Not exactly heavy.

I find the best way to teach kids to be safe in the kitchen is to actually teach them to do those tasks involving the objects you worry about.

DD aged 11.5 is well able to make tea/coffee and able to use knives safely. She even dug out a recipe recently to make a pipeable icing for a cake project she was doing and made it from scratch, including using the electric whisk, safely as I taught her, to do so.

DD and DS aged 8 have long been able to make their own breakfasts, including taost, without my help.

And I'm teaching simple cookery, and DS is doing this at Cubs, too.

They are also able to help me in the general housework, DD evens wants to do ironing sometimes DS not quite ready for this yet, a bit too impulsive.

As I tell them, it isn't fairies that do the housework and we all should do our share of it . Thinking about it, I'm going to make a future DIL happy, I think.

Actually, both kids know about using knives safely, and have even used (gasp) serrated knives for specific tasks, and both drink tea but not coffee.

And my cousin's two DSs, aged nearly 17 are living in a flat on their own and having to do all the housework/cooking, etc, so of course it's possible.

At 12 I was making tea for me, never mind anyone else.

I also did the Brownie Hostess and House Orderly badges aged 7-8. Every Brownie in the Pack I was in did House Orderly, Safety in the Home and Agility, even if they did nothing else.

DDs have always helped me round the house, since they were tiny, and they loved it. As they grew up, it just became second nature for them, as it was part of their routine. And I got so fed up with washing the detritus of their floordrobes that I had a washing machine and tumble dryer plumbed into the cupboard in their bathroom.

Amount of laundry went down by about 60%, it was nothing short of a miracle.

They are 14 and 18, both of them can cook proficiently, shop, clean and do laundry including ironing. They know how to budget and pay bills, and can do first aid and care for a small child.

These are basic life skills imo, ones that every child should be taught at home as part of growing up and becoming a responsible adult. They don't need the added pressure of having to work out how to look after themselves properly when they go to Uni, they have quite enough to contend with then.

I made the afternoon tea for several thirsty mechanics from the age of 9 or so (garage run from home), poor blokes never got a full cup tho, by the time I'd sloshed carried it from the house to the garage it'd lost at least a 1/4... :)
I was going round other people's houses doing their ironing after school at 12, but never did it at home for some reason (reason being that my mum doesn't believe in ironing, she believes in 'hanging things out correctly'!).

Mini why would you be handing your 12yo niece a 3 day old baby and expecting her to change it's nappies
I didn't. She was asking and that's when I had the idea to make her feel useful by making me a cuppa. Sorry if that wasn't clear!

Both my children have weak wrists (as do I) but they have still been encouraged to make tea and cook simple dishes from age 8/9.

My rationale being that as you grow up you have to learn to work round any physical weakness you may have and work out ways to keep safe. E.g. don't overfill the kettle, put the teapot near the kettle and pour over a surface away from you rather than carry the kettle etc etc. Dodgy joints are hereditary in my family, they won't go away when dcs grow up, so they will have to learn to use their brains to compensate.

I wonder if the OPs niece's parents realise that during her hours at school she is expected to cope with boiling water and knives and bunsen burners. She won't be excused chemistry lessons even if she does have weak wrists.

My mum's friend taught me how to change a nappy when I was six. she had just had a baby and I was very fascinated by it. Obviously, she supervised but I loved it!

I'm one of four children and we had a rota of housework from as early as I remember, including setting table, changing beds, cleaning bathroom, washing and drying dishes (pre dishwasher days!), and of course endless cups of tea. Parents used to refer to us as Slave 1, Slave 2 etc (in jest of course but you get the idea!)

Mini why would you be handing your 12yo niece a 3 day old baby and expecting her to change it's nappies
I didn't. She was asking and that's when I had the idea to make her feel useful by making me a cuppa. Sorry if that wasn't clear!

Hmmm... I'd just think she wanted to play with the baby & didn't want to be fobbed off with tea-making duties .

My dad told me that they h ad me and db so they never had to make themselves another cuppa! Am now pg with dc1 and wondering how soon I can expect it to be able to make my coffee...

Mine make tea and hot choc and some food how would they survive on Sunday morning if not have these basic skills

Blimey. At age 12 I was soley responsible for post supper coffee/tea/hot chocolate making for the entire family. I also was the person clearing the table with DSis. DB did the washing up and Dsis did drying up and putting away. And I drank tea (but not after supper) from very young, albeit with a lot of milk and sugar!

Have many memories of me aged just 8 being a full time mummy to my new baby bro - by the age of 6 months he wouldn't let anyone else change his nappy OR feed him

DD - 9 - is a dab hand at tea making. Again, the fundamental thing is that she only puts 1 cupful of water in the kettle.
She also loves cooking and it's something we enjoy doing together. I still remember arriving at uni to discover my new housemates couldn't even boil an egg!

DD also hoovers the kitchen and living room floor after dinner every evening. The younger ones love emptying the washing machine and love folding up clean clothes.

I do throw a crust of bread in their cages the odd time though [wink.

Is it wrong to drink tea all mine love a cuppa in the morning 8-13 years old and have since about toddlerish I guess they do like the independence of doing things for themselves and I always think if learn to handle things properly from young age there is no problem

SmethwickBelle "Hostess badge in the brownies involved making tea yonks ago didn't it?, not that the Brownies of the 1980s is a benchmark of anything necessarily."

Hostess badge certainly did involve making tea when I took it in the early 70s.
Mind you, in my old Brownie handbook, published circa the Coronation, one of the badges required the Brownie to clean a hearth and then lay and light a fire. Even if a Brownie had access to an open fire these days I imagine Social Services would be called if someone suggested that they go ahead and light it!