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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to expect a 12 year old to be capable of making me a cup of tea?!

128 replies

minikimmi · 04/03/2012 17:24

So, my 12 yr old neice was here to visit her newborn cousin. Her dad came with her but had to pop out for an hour so I was left with niece, my newborn, and my 3 other DCs all under 6. Lots of offers from niece to feed baby, change baby etc but when I asked her if she could pop the kettle on and make me a cuppa she said she 'wasn't allowed to touch the kettle'. What the actual f**k? I'm biting my tongue here trying not to ask why on Earth not?? I haven't heard any tales of her scalding herself in the past or anything. AIBU? Am I going to have to wait at least another 7 or 8 years before any of mine can make me a bloody cuppa? Please restore my faith in the youth of today!

OP posts:

ddubsgirl · 04/03/2012 17:39

we got 1 of those new kettles that boils 1 cup at a time as 1 of my boys found it hard to lift the kettle,so all you do is stand the cup under where the water comes out :)

LentillyFart · 04/03/2012 17:39

Agree with trois. My DS was making tea from 8 ish onwards. And for the person fretting about the weight of a 'kettle full of boiling water' - well, what kind of numbskull boils a whole kettle for one cup of tea? No wonder our kids are growing up incapable of anything except ordering a bloody online pizza!

Original poster

minikimmi · 04/03/2012 17:40

There is no way a 12 yr old should be incapable of making a cup of tea. I'm totally gobsmacked at this. I was definitely making tea and coffee at this age and before. I would offer to teach her but I'm frightened of stepping on her parents' toes. Hmm.

OP posts:

Iteotwawki · 04/03/2012 17:40

My 6 year old makes tea & coffee. Both he and his 4 year old brother love tea

gordyslovesheep · 04/03/2012 17:41

YANBU - at 12 I was letting myself in after school and making my own tea

dd1 is 9 and makes tea, coffee, toast, cereal and has just made her first spag bol!

BeckyBrandonNeeBloomwood · 04/03/2012 17:41

Trios has a good point- what about home economics/food technology classes at school? Does she not use a kettle then? By aged 12 we were making v. simple meals eg tuna pasta bake at school. Which obviously involved kettle to
Cook pasta. I quite enjoyed cooking (mainly baking/pasta dishes) from about aged 10 so was using kettles/oven/hob from that sort of age

Original poster

minikimmi · 04/03/2012 17:41

My 6yo makes cups of tea and hot chocolate
my 6 yo makes toast and yet his 12 year old cousin can't make tea? Unreal.

OP posts:

CrabbyBigbottom · 04/03/2012 17:43

DD has just turned 9, and has been making tea for quite a few months. In fact, she wakes me up in the morning with a cup of tea. She also makes herself tea and cocoa. I wouldn't want her lifting a full kettle of boiling water without supervision (she does when making pasta etc), but the kettle is barely a quarter full for a couple of mugs of tea. I was around the same age when I was taught to make tea. DD makes herself scrambled eggs too, but she's not allowed to use the cooker unless I'm awake and downstairs.

hatesponge · 04/03/2012 17:44

I wasn't allowed to use the kettle or the iron til I was well over 12, boil a pan of water or light a match.

I was quite clumsy and uncoordinated, partly due to being left handed. My parents did it I think to save me serious injury!

MishiMoshi · 04/03/2012 17:46

Meh, I have my 9 year old well trained in fetching beer and wine from the fridge for adults. She can't do corks yet, sadly but we will work on that...

MUCH more useful than tea and coffee making (though she can do that too).

toddlerama · 04/03/2012 17:47

I was not taught to do this sort of thing at home at all. Over cautious parents. My food tech teacher hated me and ridiculed me because I didn't know anything. It really pissed me off when she would get sarky and mean, but I could also see her point and felt really embarrassed. I think you should take any opportunity that arises to teach your niece how to do this stuff safely and if her parents object, they can tell you after you've shown her.

Original poster

minikimmi · 04/03/2012 17:48

I'm going to tell my SIL that I didn't let niece change or feed baby because she told me that she wasn't allowed to make a cup of tea and I felt that in that case she maybe wasn't capable of holding a 3 day old baby either! Ridiculous.

OP posts:

laptopdancer · 04/03/2012 17:49

Does the child go to the same school Kate Middleton went to?

Maryz · 04/03/2012 17:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smurfy1 · 04/03/2012 17:53

I wouldnt trust DD at 10 with the kettle she still can't be trusted in bath to wash herself yet when I was 12 I was cooking, making coffee and ironing etc

Umm maybe time to let her loose rofl

Original poster

minikimmi · 04/03/2012 17:55

I don't get this kettle fear at all. 12 years is 4 years away from being an 'adult' in theory. In fact, I'm making it my mission this week to teach the 6yo how to make a cuppa.

OP posts:

AwkwardMary · 04/03/2012 17:57

Maryz why should they be able to make hot drinks at aged 8? My almost 8 year old isn't allowed to drink tea or coffee and she rarely wants cocoa. Why would she NEED to make it at all?

I dont send her to make me any because she''s a tad clumsy....I wouldn't risk it for my own laziness.

gordyslovesheep · 04/03/2012 17:58

dd1 has just brought her 3.5 year old sister down stairs bathed, in her PJ's ready for bed ! (I am not sure I will let her do that again mind !)

RuleBritannia · 04/03/2012 18:02

I was making pastry and baking things in a gas stove (and lighting it myself) when I was 9. I made tea but never coffee because my parents did not like it. I remember learning to iron when I was 11 and allowed to iron handkerchieves and tea towels to start with! Any 123 year old should be able to make tea and carry out the other tasks described by other posters here. Making toast does not mean poking fingers into the toaster, does it? Unless they are the sort with a big fire and use a toasting fork.

Original poster

minikimmi · 04/03/2012 18:03

Any 123 year old should be able to make tea
No, they've done enough

OP posts:

Maryz · 04/03/2012 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TotemPole · 04/03/2012 18:05

10 year old doesn't know how to make tea or coffee because I don't have that many hot drinks so it just hasn't happened naturally. After reading this thread, I'm thinking I should make a point of teaching them.

They can make things like scrambled egg, omelette & sandwiches.

exoticfruits · 04/03/2012 18:06

It doesn't surprise me in the least-lots of posts on MN make it quite clear that a kettle is too dangerous for a 12 yr old. I find it rather annoying that I have had to work with groups of DCs at primary school chopping veg and boiling them up to make soup-when most of them haven't a clue because they don't do it at home and have never been given a sharp knife.
A 12 yr old should be quite capable of cooking a meal, so I am sure they can manage a kettle and a cup of tea! (I suspect some will have to wait until 15yrs to do such a dangerous activity!)

megapixels · 04/03/2012 18:07

I think a 12 year old is quite capable of making a cup of tea, maybe she just didn't want to!

As a child I used to hate how my aunts used to boss me, and other children around, saying bring me this and that while they sat there just talking and acting as if they were glued to their seats. Your situ is different of course as you've just had a baby, but maybe your niece cba to do it. I would have loved helping with the baby, but not going away and making a cuppa :).

Original poster

minikimmi · 04/03/2012 18:11

As a child I used to hate how my aunts used to boss me, and other children around, saying bring me this and that while they sat there just talking and acting as if they were glued to their seats
I actually loved that, made me feel important. I come from a big family and that sort of upbringing has definitely had an effect on the way we all are now, always helping each other out, sometimes to the point of annoyance! We were all very capable kids and maybe that's why I'm baffled that my brother has his daughter wrapped up in cotton wool, he certainly made cuppas at that age!

OP posts:

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