to expect a 12 year old to be capable of making me a cup of tea?!

[minikimmi]

So, my 12 yr old neice was here to visit her newborn cousin. Her dad came with her but had to pop out for an hour so I was left with niece, my newborn, and my 3 other DCs all under 6. Lots of offers from niece to feed baby, change baby etc but when I asked her if she could pop the kettle on and make me a cuppa she said she 'wasn't allowed to touch the kettle'. What the actual f**k? I'm biting my tongue here trying not to ask why on Earth not?? I haven't heard any tales of her scalding herself in the past or anything. AIBU? Am I going to have to wait at least another 7 or 8 years before any of mine can make me a bloody cuppa? Please restore my faith in the youth of today!

I said full kettle - just an expression. Again i'm happy to let my 12 yr old boil a not full kettle/bake cakes/make a meal completely unsupervised in the kitchen but wouldn't let my 10 yr old near a not full kettle at all. Different natures/strengh/capabilities.

I remember brownie hostess badge and learning to make a cup of tea - (proud). I must have been about 10. Mine can all make tea although I do worry about draining pots of water with pasta. My 13 year old refuses to top up our wine on the basis that we are alcoholics and shouldn't be drinking. So much for school awareness lessons!!

My ds1 (12) can make tea coffee and cocoa and has done so since he was 8. He also knows how to do laundry and ironing, load and unload a dishwasher and cooks dinner one night a week
My dd (13) does the same.
Ds2 is 8 and he can make hot chocolate, makes porridge in the microwave and can make a ham sandwhich and nutella on toast.

I come from a big family too mini (my mother has 12 siblings, all very close, and I have 40+ cousins) and we are still very close as an extended family, but I still disliked that! I am careful not to overdo the child labour too much . My eldest is just 9, so only does basic things like toast unsupervised. But I can see that by 12 she would certainly be capable of handling a kettle!

My 13 year old refuses to top up our wine on the basis that we are alcoholics and shouldn't be drinkinghmm. So much for school awareness lessons!!
When I was 13 my cool aunt would let me pour her wine and have a glass myself. Changed days

My mum was forever burning/scalding herself as a child. She once dropped a boiled kettle over herself.

Consequently no way was I allowed to touch a kettle/cooker/iron for years. If I even walked near the iron and board she would flip out.

It did mean I got out of brew making duties for longer than I should

That's odd. I'd fully expect a 12 year old to be able to make tea/coffee/hot chocolate and cook a simple meal.

YANBU at all.

It's not the 12 year old's fault though, is it?

Oh FFS! It's NOT "Odd" as some people keep saying! It's just not YOUR normal!

If she's not been shown or allowed to at home then it's not really her fault is it?

My DD is 9y and can cook many dishes pretty much on her own and can make hot drinks. She regularly uses the oven and hob on her own and does cooking at school once a fortnight. However our kettle is very heavy and not safe for her to lift if more than a third or so full. So, although she will do most of it, either me or DH will do the pouring of hot water for now. I'd rather that than risk - and it is a highish risk with our kettle - a nasty burn. She uses the Tassimo on her own though.

My mum never taught me to snog lads, it didn't stop me learning though!

Snogging lads is something that is generally done outside of the home - I doubt she has much access to kettles at school.

And yes, my 9y enjoys a cup of tea.

My 9 year old regularly goes off to make himself a cup of tea.

My dd has been drinking tea since she was about 7 and making it since she was about 9

I think we need to get a lighter kettle. Ours does seem very heavy even if only half full, esp when lifting from the angle DD would have to as obviously not quite as tall as I am. And I wouldn't watch her standing on a stool or anything when dealing with boiling water.

My 2 11yr olds are always making me cups of tea, they like doing it, and I like tea! They can also prepare themselves simple meals, things like beans on toast, scrambled eggs etc, and help me cook more complicated things.

My 14 year old son was at grammar school and wore cricket whites every day. He'd come home from school and expect them to be clean and ready to use the next day. He soon learned how to use the washing machine, dry overnight and iron them in the morning!

I didn't make a cup of tea until I was 15. I didn't drink it and my parents never asked me to make them one.

I did however cook regular proper meals for 5 and occassionally hosted dinner parties.

I got a shock doing work exp, but so did the people who asked me.

I got one of those one-cup gadgets that just does one cup instantly. You don't have to lift it, just pop a cup under and press a button. My ds1 has been making me the occasional cup of tea when nagged since he was 9.

I must admit I would be entirely comfortable with him lifting a heavy kettle. He has managed to spill tea on him once even with this gadget.

My 11 yr old son can't make a cup of tea, but he doesn't drink tea.

My DS1 (10yo) can make tea and is also good at spotting when his Mum really needs a cuppa He can also make himself scrambled or boiled eggs and beans on toast and bake a decent victoria sponge unsupervised, but then he's been taught to. Not your niece's fault if she's not allowed to try.

My 18 month old helps me make a cup of tea! Ok all he does is take the tea bag out of the tea caddy and put it in the cup for me but he doesn't half get annoyed if I appear with a cup of tea and he hasn't helped make it! Start 'em young I say

my 9 and 12 yr olds can make tea, i image ds3 who is 7 could also make it tho i havent asked him, ds1 will make me tea when asked or her offers if wanting one himself.

my children have all helped in the kitchen and around the house from a young age, there was no way i was raising 4 boys who simply expected mum/wife to do everything! we all make the mess so we all help tidy and they all like helping in the kitchen and the eldest can do dinner easily on his own and the others all hel[ out iwth prepping veg, serving up etc and helping to cook meals.

if it was my neice/nephew, i would have just said, well lets go and i will watch you to make sure you know what you are doing. but then i know my sister and i am pretty sure her ds will be more than able to make a cup of tea!

oopps pressed post too early, her ds will be able to make a cup of tea, once old enough, he is only 2mths at the moment, i would be pretty impressed if he could make a cup of tea!