AIBU to ask how often you row with your DH or partner?

[MrsKittyFane]

and to think that a full scale, sweary, can't stand each other row is a bit much once every couple of months?!

About once a year ish.

Was yesterday for us, we were vile to each other

haven't had a row yet, but we've only been together for 4 years.

We are major low-level bickerers, I wish we could stop but it just seems ingrained into our relationship. Major row, though? I don't know, a few times a year? Usually about money or housework!

About 4 huge rows in the ten years we have been married... we bicker all the time though... but mostly in a way that neither of us take any offence at..

im very argumentative with the people i really love. Dont know why cos im a weirdo so we do have quite a few rows, but its normally me shouting and him ignoring it.

Every other day atm - our rough patch seems to have lasted the last three years.

that was supposed to be a strike through not underlined

A proper serious, thought we might split up, throw stuff and stamp kind of row - once. Long time ago before we were married (about 12 years ago now).

That doesn't mean we don't fight - we bicker (about once a month) but we've been together so long now that dh actually knows when I'm due on before I do and he knows to give me a wide berth / keep his mouth shut for a few days. Then we pootle along nicely until the next month.

He is very laid back, do whenever I'm stressed, he never rises to it (but he never seems to realise that half the time he is the cause of my stress either).

Every six weeks we yell at each other or have an argument - it is then all over by the next day.

This is because we both work in schools and every six weeks we're knackered.

We also have one giant stand up row about nothing in the first couple of days of the summer holidays, bigger than the other rows because we're extra tired then

I don't think we've ever had a shouty row in the 8.5 years we have been together. We have sulky disagreements once or twice a year.

Twice in 18 years, both times we were both extremely tired, hungover and stressed by our extended families. Normally we are good at defusing each other if one of us is feeling arsey.

We never do really. The very occasional disagreement and getting slightly irritated with each other, but never a proper row involving shouting. I've never had one of those with anyone except my mother (when I was a teenager).

Arguing every couple of months would not be acceptable to me, I'd much rather be single than have the hassle of a relationship like that.

Our dcs don't fight either, and friends have commented on this being strange... I cant even watch a soap because I get stressed by other people fighting. I'm wondering if those of you who are argumentative have argumentative children?

We have had petty snippy or one upmanship (competive lol) but in 8 years I think we have had 1 where he sat in the car

Very stressful time though sorting out access etc bout 4 yrs ago

I know we've had threads about this before and many people have commented that it's healthy to have arguments in a relationship/marriage. Maybe they're right, but we seem to get along OK without it.

I can see the argument that it's better to get things out in the open with a row than have simmering resentment building up, but surely better still not to have either!

Whenever he's really hungry or really tired.

I think I married an over grown toddler.

We don't row, I get stroppy and he holds me or very calmly says "Tits, you're angry and you're being aggressive, I don't have to take it, I shall be here when you wish to talk about what's in your head calmly."
I am used to full on angry, violent arguments with my ex so this flabbergasted me a bit at first. Never had a biggie though.

In the last 3 years or so before H & I split up, we argued every few weeks (about the state of our marriage) but it was never bit shouty sweary arguments, more sad/frustrated/crying type arguments and we weren't horrible or sweary to each other. Had probably 4 really big rows in 8.5 years and probably only one was nasty and sweary, the others were after weddings/parties when both a bit pissed. I couldn't be in a relationship where they were any more frequent than that. I have been pretty horrified by the frequency, vileness and intensity that some people consider OK within a marriage and like it's still a tenable relationship - it really doesn't do much for those people's personalities/characters over the years ...

Ephiny I feel like you with this subject too. I couldn't live with constant bickering, or frequent arguments, I know it would make me miserable.

I'm not saying that people who do argue have bad relationships, or they should do things my way, I just know that for me it would never work.

The worst arguments we have ever had, and by a lot of people's standards they wouldn't be that bad anyway, related to his mum and his sister. I bet we're not the only couple that have argued about that particular topic!

I can see the argument that it's better to get things out in the open with a row than have simmering resentment building up, but surely better still not to have either!
It's totally possible to get things out in the open, and be angry with it, without swearing at your partner, being vile, insulting them, saying awful things to them etc. So I don't think a big blow-up necessarily has to be damaging or involve being awful.

Once every month or two if it's a rough patch with money/school/kids.

Together over 10 years and have never sworn at each other. Neither of us swear much anyway though and we don't swear at our parents, sibs, good friends or kids. Some people are more inclined to lose it than others. I wouldn't be with a man who regularly verbally abused me. Very little in life is worth getting that worked up about. If someone is in the same room as you why would you shout? To me it signifies a degree of hysteria and lack of control. I equate shouting with aggression.