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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed upset and hurt by the comments

120 replies

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 18:50

I'VE BEEN TO WORK ALL DAY! That's what my dh said because he had to bath and entertain our 2.3 dd while I was getting washing in, making the beds with clean sheets, vacuuming entire house, washing up the kids tea dishes while cooking the tea for us! And then he puls a face about having to move from playing on the iPad with dd to take her up for bed and i said stop moaning you have only had her for an hour to which he says well I've been to work all day. What the frig does he tink i do all day and have to do it with a child he wants constant attention and chickens and dogs to clean and feed grrrrr I said I don't want to row stop being an arse but it will play on my mind as he does jack shit apart from go to work and when I was at work I still had to do everything even tho I'd been to blooming work! Plus I have a 16-18 year old to. Rant over thanks

OP posts:

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2012 22:10

And my dcs were looked after in my home making a mess and the person looking after them made a mess too.

Anonymumous · 02/03/2012 22:12

But DeVere the reason she asked her DH to put DD to bed was because she was faffing around doing a load of stuff she could have done earlier in the day, or didn't actually need to do at all! He did spend an hour bathing DD and entertaining her before bedtime, apparently without complaint. Then he dared to pull a face and say, "I've been at work all day" - which is exactly what his wife has been protesting herself on MumsNet all evening! What has the poor bloke actually done wrong?!

Anyway, they've sorted it out now, so all's well that ends well. Good night!

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2012 22:12

Chirpy you are the champion. My dh does it all. But I don't complain when I come home and something isn't done. I'm no champion, I spend my day twirling around in my chair!

halcyondays · 02/03/2012 22:14

I take dd2 to Playgroups pretty much every day, she gets so much out of them and hates missing them. Dd1 was just the same. Some dc love them, others are happy enough pottering at home. I actually find I get more done when they've been out in the morning as they are more

JasperJohns · 02/03/2012 22:24

I hate posts with no punctuation.

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 22:29

I'm sorry jasper was posting on phone in between jobs lol

OP posts:

inatrance · 02/03/2012 22:48

Gosh expecting a father to look after his own children after.... GOING TO WORK, shocking! Ffs he should pull his weight, yanbu to kick his arse.

JockTamsonsBairns · 02/03/2012 23:07

Too much bloody lol-ing on this thread for my liking.

Pandemoniaa · 02/03/2012 23:32

Some of your replies are particularly charmless, OP. If this is the common currency in your house I'm hardly surprised the atmosphere is a tad unpleasant.

As it happens, I am not "talking out of my arse" so far as teenagers are concerned. I've got two sons - now aged 30 and 29 - and when they were teenagers I was working FT and a lone parent.

They didn't get the option to just sit around and eat but neither did I have to get difficult with them in order for them to help out. We agreed a fair division of work and they understood that it was unfair for anyone in the family to do all the boring household chores while the rest of us sat around watching. Of course my teenage dcs needed reminding about things occasionally but I can honestly say that our, more equitable, system of sharing the jobs out worked perfectly well and without any great stressing from me.

Perhaps if you sat your teenagers down and asked for more assistance they might surprise you by helping. On the other hand, you do need to be realistic about the amount of housework that actually needs doing.

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 23:58

Pand I'm not and didn't ask for anyone's opinion on how much house work I can and will do I don't care if you find any of my posts charmless I'm not a single parent and that's not my point nor is the fact the teenagers don't do a great deal I didn't ask for any comments other then am I being unreasonable about the comment made about I've been at work, the comment about talking out of arse was to those who were talking and judging but not having the experience with teenagers themself but if your comment is anything to go by well done you for getting them to help I'm not moaning about the kids or how much I do as most is done on a daily basis with out problem it was the off the cuff remark by dh and a rant really so people need to learn not to be so judgemental and plain nasty when commenting.

OP posts:

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 03/03/2012 00:01

Oh and at no point did I say it was unpleasant atmosphere so unless you live here how would you know

OP posts:

Pandemoniaa · 03/03/2012 00:04

If the atmosphere at home is all sweetness and light why on earth are you complaining on AIBU?

butterflyexperience · 03/03/2012 00:07

Princess have you ever tried to be a Sahm, with no family support and with a Dh that works ling hours?

No?

Then be a dear and fuck off will you?

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 03/03/2012 00:13

Pandemoniaa, Perhaps having all that experience there are far better ways of posting and using that knowledge you have. I didn't see a personnel reference to you? Did i miss it? But jumping in and making assumptions on how the atmosphere is well think maybe you need to sit down and have a word with your self and explain we all have a rant from time to time. get over it!!!

OP posts:

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 03/03/2012 00:18

Pand whos home is sweetness and light all the time snow white maybe! are you living in fairy land? as I live in the real world where on occasion you have your ups and downs or the odd crossed word due to home and work life ballance!

OP posts:

northcountrygirl · 03/03/2012 00:46

I can't believe how many threads I see on this same subject on mumsnet.

In my (not quite inconsiderable) experience of husbands (plural) and live in boyfriends I have never ever experienced this lazy man phenonema. I can only assume that some people are just a bit "too nice" and have perhaps made a rod for their own back.

I have always started as I mean to go on from day one and made it quite clear that I'm not a domestic servant just because I have a vagina. You have a tongue in your head - just tell them! If I'm working in the home, then illness aside (and it better be a damn well short illness as my sympathy runs out pdq - unless covered by a doctors note, I think I may accept that) then I expect the other adult in the house to be working too.

How could anyone be skivvying away whilst their partner is lying on the sofa watching tv? And not want to kill them?

Or maybe that's just me...

Whatmeworry · 03/03/2012 08:33

Or are not so nice and like to whinge a lot......

northcountrygirl · 03/03/2012 08:49

I prefer to call in being assertive...

Whatmeworry · 03/03/2012 08:55

Much better :o

Proudnscary · 03/03/2012 08:55

Northcountrygirl - hear, hear!

I feel exactly the same about these threads. What the actual fucking fucking fuck???!

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