Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To be annoyed upset and hurt by the comments

120 replies

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 18:50

I'VE BEEN TO WORK ALL DAY! That's what my dh said because he had to bath and entertain our 2.3 dd while I was getting washing in, making the beds with clean sheets, vacuuming entire house, washing up the kids tea dishes while cooking the tea for us! And then he puls a face about having to move from playing on the iPad with dd to take her up for bed and i said stop moaning you have only had her for an hour to which he says well I've been to work all day. What the frig does he tink i do all day and have to do it with a child he wants constant attention and chickens and dogs to clean and feed grrrrr I said I don't want to row stop being an arse but it will play on my mind as he does jack shit apart from go to work and when I was at work I still had to do everything even tho I'd been to blooming work! Plus I have a 16-18 year old to. Rant over thanks

OP posts:

undercoverPrincess · 02/03/2012 20:50

I would love to get everything chorewise done during the day as I work evenings but never manage it with an active 18month old plus school runs to fit in. It's the things like washing / lunches / dinner which need to be done later and I would be furious if my OH wasn't happy to entertain the kids while I did this / helped with them....

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 20:52

play groups every day since 6weeks old or I would have gone nuts dd is very energetic and needs lots of focus

OP posts:

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2012 20:53

Chirpy - if you can't stand the heat, go to playgroup! And that's polite

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 20:54

He is lovely in every other way just he gets grumpy and wants time to rest but he was fishing all day Thursday when's my down time that's why it annoyed me

OP posts:

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 20:54

Princess

OP posts:

MyLittleMiracle · 02/03/2012 21:00

And the two and a half hours are probably filled with chores. I know by my mum (i went once a week) for two and a half hours and she said she didnt get much done, cos you drop them off walk back do what ever and then have to go again. My playgroup was twenty minutes walk away and back, that leaves 1 hour 50 minutes. And that doesnt include getting a coffee or anything on route. Its hardly relaxing! My Little one doesnt go nursery yet btw, before anyone says anything! A little help occasionally cant be too much to ask and he should be volunteering to help! Does he help wash up after dinner etc? He should! I mean you have been busy all day too!

Cat98 · 02/03/2012 21:01

Err - going to playground for me comes under 'looking after their dd'. I very much doubt it's something the op would choose to do with her own leisure time, and ime they are very rarely 'relaxing'. I too feel like I've stepped into the 1950s with some of these replies! Op - I sympathise.

AnnieLobeseder · 02/03/2012 21:03

When I was a SAHM, both DH and I saw it is my job to look after the children. Anything else I got done (and it was a fair bit, I'm not a lazy slattern) was a bonus for which he was grateful, and we both finished off the rest together once the DDs were in bed.

Don't most WOH dads so bath/bedtime anyway if they haven't seen their DC all day?

KateSpade · 02/03/2012 21:03

I hate men.

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 21:05

Ohdoadmit I'm sorry Hun it was ment for mytwocent read so many got confused which ain't hard after a day like mine haha sorry x

OP posts:

AnnieLobeseder · 02/03/2012 21:05

I hate how so many women resign themselves to lives of servitude and the men who let them.

CreepyWeeBrackets · 02/03/2012 21:06

Play-group every day Sounds absolute hell!

Mrsgradgrind in that joke, the dirty washing been rounded up, sorted, brought downstairs and placed ready in front of the machine. I think it was written by a man who thinks the washing fairy-does that

CreepyWeeBrackets · 02/03/2012 21:08

God yeah - playgrounds as well. Pushing swings in all weathers is fucking horrible work but if you don't get young children out it isn't very good for them (or you) so it has to be done.

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 21:09

When and if dh looks after dd for a few hours he says how much work she is as she don't keep still and won't entertain herself and how he can't get things done! But he soon forgets and just lately she's cutting back teeth and whines and cries about anything and tantrums well! I don't hate men lol I like a nice clean tidy house and I can't rest settle or sleep unless I know it's all done so I know that's my fault but hey!

OP posts:

EverybodysSnowyEyed · 02/03/2012 21:10

I get what you mean OP

My DH works 15 hr days usually. He tries really hard to arrange meeting so he can take DS to school. Tonight he came home early so he could put the kids to bed. He doesn't see it as a chore. And tonight, after DS had been a total nightmare all day, he was quite happy to do bedtime on his own so I could go and lie down in a dark quiet room for 10 mins

DoMeDon · 02/03/2012 21:10

Sounds like DD needs lots of focus because you always focus on her and give her attention. It is part of parenting to help your DC learn to occupy themselves for short spells.

You sound like you're making work for yourself to be honest. You like a clean house, you like to do it all evry day then you get on and do it. That is not a decision you should make for both of you. Happiness is compromise.

KateSpade · 02/03/2012 21:13

I just hate the ones who have a shitty attitude towards women, thinking just because your a woman you should do washing/cooking/cleaning, thus never learn to do anything their whole lives, its like going from being looked after by your mother as a child, to marrying a woman who treats you like your mother did.

I mean nothing about your marriage/husband and hope its not offensive to you, i just know a few men like that.

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 21:14

Playtime park sticky time arts and crafts all takes up time and creates mess\ fun which needs sorting to but that is very important to enrich dd with different tasks as that is a huge roll and JOB as a parent and no my leisure time would not be the park it would be in a quiet room reading and loosing myself in a good book

OP posts:

Shouldibuy · 02/03/2012 21:16

I think dh is a pretty hands on dad, and I am a SAHM but with a small business that I run from home. He is usually off on a Friday, so has the dc then (4, 2 and 5 months) while I work. He is great with the kids, but the house is always a bombsite by the time it gets to the evening, and it's only very occasionally that a load of washing gets put on.

He does however appreciate it that these other things do get done on the days when he is out at work.

I think it is a huge benefit to our relationship that he has that experience regularly.

PW - you make a lot of assumptions about everybody else on here. Wonder why you are so keen to assume that everyone else is lazy. My previous career involved much more responsibility in financial terms, but I find looking after 3 dc much harder work physically and sometimes mentally. And I think in our toddler groups, the most time I get to chat to other parents is about 15 minutes. About similar to my tea break length in my previous job.

WorraLiberty · 02/03/2012 21:18

while I was getting washing in, making the beds with clean sheets, vacuuming entire house, washing up the kids tea dishes while cooking the tea for us

Jesus wept I'd be pissed off to if my DH was a SAHD and I came home from work to him doing all that...when he had all day/all week to do it.

Surely you could have managed to vacuum the 'entire' house at one point during the day or even yesterday

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 21:20

Mylittlemirricle it's not a stay and play or I could get stuff done I have to stay with her lol it will be easier when she goes to nursery. I don't try to make her need attention but if she don't get it she just screams cries hits punches ect and I can't stand it more to the point I'd loose my rag and end up smacking her and I dont want any of that. I had none of this trouble with the boys when they were little but dd is soooo head strong and trying to involve her in house work well she has the attention span of a gnat lol plus makes it worse as It has to be right OCD taking over lol

OP posts:

CreepyWeeBrackets · 02/03/2012 21:20

Co-incidentally I have this rather relevant thread open in another tab as it's one I have been meaning to read. Interesting ideas about division of labour and attitudes.

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 21:25

Worraliberty I do vac every day sometimes twice depending on how I feel just in case visitors pop in and because I'm out first thing so can't do it then I can't have people or family think I have a dirty house as my sisters you used to have to wipe feet on way out and I won't have people think that of me! Clean clean house that's what I like

OP posts:

undercoverPrincess · 02/03/2012 21:26

Little ones are little for so long it seems a shame to spend all your at home time with them cleaning and keeping a nice house when there are so many other nice things to do....

undercoverPrincess · 02/03/2012 21:27

little ones are not little for long sorry half a glass of vino to blame for that....

Flip

1 2 3 4 5