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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed upset and hurt by the comments

120 replies

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 18:50

I'VE BEEN TO WORK ALL DAY! That's what my dh said because he had to bath and entertain our 2.3 dd while I was getting washing in, making the beds with clean sheets, vacuuming entire house, washing up the kids tea dishes while cooking the tea for us! And then he puls a face about having to move from playing on the iPad with dd to take her up for bed and i said stop moaning you have only had her for an hour to which he says well I've been to work all day. What the frig does he tink i do all day and have to do it with a child he wants constant attention and chickens and dogs to clean and feed grrrrr I said I don't want to row stop being an arse but it will play on my mind as he does jack shit apart from go to work and when I was at work I still had to do everything even tho I'd been to blooming work! Plus I have a 16-18 year old to. Rant over thanks

OP posts:

StealthPolarBear · 02/03/2012 19:50

But why phrase it like that?
I have 2 2-4tos :)

my2centsis · 02/03/2012 19:55

I too am wondering why beds are being made and vaccuming being done at that time?

I have a 3months old and a 4th old and manage to get it all done during the day so night time isn't such a rush and we can spend time as a family at night it's far more relaxing and less stressful, could dd also be bathed in the morning so that's 1 less thing that has to be done at night?

On the other hand YANBU to be mad at his ' I'm at work all day' comment, that's rude of him and unnecessay

Choufleur · 02/03/2012 19:58

DH had been at work all day today and I got him to put a fence up when he got in. The house is a right old state too.

my2centsis · 02/03/2012 19:58

A 4yo. Annoying auto correct. Sorry on my ph while bf

MrsKittyFane · 02/03/2012 20:00

Well Princess W is a little blunt :o in the way she has posted but she has a point.
Why is this long list of jobs stockpiled for one evening? Your DH needs to get off his backside but why everything in one evening?
Do a little bit each day with your little one, tell DH what he needs to do ( pathetic that he needs telling but hey ho) and get your older DC to help.

Jux · 02/03/2012 20:04

Write out a bill for everything you do, and present it to him.

my2centsis · 02/03/2012 20:05

Jux... Um what for?

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2012 20:06

Jux - don't think you can charge for mumsnetting and gas bagging over the garden fence

Anonymumous · 02/03/2012 20:08

I kind of assumed that as a SAHM my job would be to look after the house AND the children, while DH does his share by going out to work and earning money. If you were still doing all that after he got home, it does rather beg the question of what you were doing for the rest of the day?

I have to say, you're complaining very vocally that he doesn't appreciate what you do all day. But you describe him as doing 'jack shit apart from go to work', which suggests that you don't have much appreciation of what he does either. Maybe you both need to work on developing a little respect for each other's roles?

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2012 20:11

Anon - maybe they'll have a section on appreciating your partner on Day break that the op could watch?

sadlymiserable · 02/03/2012 20:16

very unfair responses! sounds like a lot of those jobs may need to be done in the evening.. cooking tea, bringing in washing, making up beds (if sheets were in wash/dried/ironed during day)
that women who tut about other women not keeping an organised household makes me shudder as they are the mother's/ relatives of men who think they 'help out' with housework and childcare.

besides it's not childcare, what kind of man/ father doesn't want to spend time with his kids/ or at least accept that bath/bed etc is a routine to be shared?

my2centsis · 02/03/2012 20:16

Well said anon.

Interesting that op doesn't seem to have much to say

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 02/03/2012 20:18

Anon do you as a SAHM expect to work 14 hour days whilst your hardworking hubby does a 8 hour one?

Do you include all weekends in your job description?

FFS what is wrong with a FATHER playing with HIS child for a bit and then putting HIS child to bed?

Its not a job its a pleasure.

That said - OP get your cleaning down in the morning so you are not rushing around like a blue arsed fly in the evenings when everyone is tired.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 02/03/2012 20:24

There seem to be a fair few women who have children with men who DO seem to consider the children a chore. Why breed with them?

Agree that OP is dismissive of her husband's job; from what's posted, they don't pull together as a couple. Both at fault and both need to grow up.

faeriemoo · 02/03/2012 20:27

I'm not sure what a 16-18 year old is exactly, or what having 2.3 dd's consists of?

chipmunksex · 02/03/2012 20:32

OP doesn't say she's a SAHM, though does she?

She say's 'What the frig does he tink i do all day and have to do it with a child he wants constant attention and chickens and dogs to clean and feed'

Sounds to me like she works at home, and she is trying to fit domestic stuff in when her dh comes home and he can take over with their toddler.

At any rate I don't think it's right to criticise her for how she organises her time.

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2012 20:36

Sounds to me she Is an Irish farmer!

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 20:37

The reason I can't get everything done during the day is breakfast getting lo ready for playgroups this morning 9 till 11.30 then lunch plus shopping plus doing the dogs and going to the allotment to feed chickens and then home to do kids tea by which time it's time to get little one ready for bed plus finish anything that needs doing oh and what's daytime tv? 18 year old at work and 17 year old at collage dd very much a hand full and makes the smallest jobs a task! Dh will do some things but rather do them save an argument as I'm so tired can't be bothered to row over it!

OP posts:

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 20:39

I am a stay at home mom but do work in between that btw lol

OP posts:

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2012 20:41

So you go to playgroups every day? No wonder then. I rest my case.

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 20:43

Ohdoadmit haven't had much to say as I was finishing the tea and washing up plus putting on more washing then having five minutes well deserved rest! Oh and who ever said Why breed you cheeky devil my dh hasn't always been this way but as the years go by you find yourself doing more and more and not noticing and its to much energy to row over it

OP posts:

MyLittleMiracle · 02/03/2012 20:43

I think the OP's point was he doesnt seem to appreciate that she does anything throughout the day and judging by her last post she is running around stupid! He shouldnt be moaning about spending time with his kids! He should enjoy it. You have looked after them all day, now its his turn. Its all the things that they dont see that makes a difference. Without you it would all fall apart! I sympathise OP. I really do and no you arent being unreasonable to expect a little help occasionally! When do you get to relax?

PrincessWellington · 02/03/2012 20:47

Mylittlemiracle - for two and a half hours in playgroups maybe?

Original poster

Chirpychick2010 · 02/03/2012 20:49

Evening when dd in bed can get done all jobs I can't when she's up! I do this every day I'm sorry but I like a clean house my husband is a mechanic and I do appreciate what he does but my job is seven days not 5 and it's 24 hours not 8 it was just one of those days and it annoys me when he says such crap princess Wellington or what ever you can do one and I'm being polite

OP posts:

OhDoAdmitMrsDeVere · 02/03/2012 20:50

I dont understand the post you have mentioned me in OP.

You seem annoyed at me for agreeing with me

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