oh, apparently now I am doing this SAHM malarkey all wrong.

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

I am being exceedingly azy according to a F, and if I had a "real" job I wouldn't expect them to do that for me, and would I?

According to her I should be doing all the chores around the house because that is job.

She wonders what's the point of the DC having a SAHM if they have to make their beds, empty the dishwasher, put their clean clothes away and a few other ad hoc jobs.

Apparently I should do all this, and try to do it in the day when they're at school because that should be my working hours.

For arses sake, and she's a total eejit isn't she?

AIBU expecting my DC to take responsibility for a few chores even though I am a SAHM?

Yanbu.

It's gently preparing them for life 'out there' isn't it?

Your mate will have useless, entitled, ungracious, lazy children. So that's fine.

You know YANBU Chaos!
Would be blinking irresponsible for you to bring up dc who didn't appreciate they have to contribute to family house running.
And anyway, you need to fit in MN time!

YANBU. What Pictish said.

Your F is an eejit.

yes she is an eejit you are mum not slave it doesnt mean the same thing

Your F is clearly a T. Ignore her - or better still, tell her to keep her 1950s opinions to herself unless she wants to hear how woefully unprepared for adult life her children will be etc.

She is an eejit.

Tell her to keep her 'neb' out !! (northern for keep your nose out)

Theres nothing wrong with children doing small chores, it helps them understand things better and makes them more competent as teenagers and adults.

Its your house and your rules !

I bet you make them dress themselves and bath alone too. Bad Chaos. No biscuit.

Your f, for example...

Why is this woman your friend!?

Think she's confusing "SAHM" with "servant" in that one. Waiting on them hand and foot does them no favours in the longer term, and your F is a fool if she thinks that's how you should be seeking validation now.

YANBU. If you want kids that can't do a damn bloody thing for themselves, by all means, be their skivvy.

DH's mum was like this, he was never allowed in the kitchen or near the washing machine. Result? Got to adulthood and can't do the most basic stuff. For 4 years I have been patiently teaching him how to make a sodding bed properly.

That is a very old fashioned attitude that your friend has.

Being a SAHM was once thought of as work, in the sense that women would plan their day out, in a similar way to a working day, but then they had to, it was a lot more manual and time consuming.

That was when children started work at 14, though.

Parents didn't really have to teach independence in the way that we do now. Children knew exactely what would be expected of them and that they had to get on with things.

Responsibility should be instilled from an early age, soshould respect for your role within the household, which isn't one of servitude.

I thought that when they are at school is "me" time

My son came home for lunch unexpectedly yesterday-I had only catered for myself & my daughter-he had to boil some pasta & open a jar of sauce cook for himself.

YANBU. Unless your DC haven't learned to walk yet

YAsooooNBU.

a SAHM is there to parent their children. that means raising them to respect their homes and their personal spaces (tidying after themselves, making their beds), teaching them how to be self sufficient when the time comes for them to leave home (washing dishes, tidying plates and cutlery off the table, bringing their washing down to the machine) and to be considerate of the other people that share their home, (offering to help with chores)

the woman in question is an eejit indeed.

YANBU.

DH's mum followed your friend's philosophy, and he was incapable of doing the simplest things when he left home.

It's good for them in the long term to learn how to do housework when they're kids.

Think I'm downgrading her to SomeoneWotICrossPathsWithTooOften, Memoo.

WTF?

Since when did SAHM = skivvy?

It's not making your children do chores, it's teaching them how to be self sufficient. You don't want them to move out of home and then struggle to do anything basic, which they will if they never have the opportunity to do anything for themselves.

My dh is proof of this, he was never made to do anything whenhe lived at home, and I mean anything. It really didn't do him any favours.

what do you do in the day when they are at school? just curious

How old are kids, and when do they do their chores, after school, after homework?

but yanbu to make then tidy after themselves

So you get to clock off at the end of the 'working day' too presumably? When the night shift arrives? Sound great

Clearly NBU.

DS is 2.5 and he puts dishes in the sink (plastic only!) and puts his trousers and pajamas away (in the two drawers he can reach).

They are not doing the chores for you, they are doing them for everyone in the household including themselves.

Just tell her that in the old days, if your husband is a gentleman, you would not be expected to do any of these. You will have servants.

That's what I always tell people if they insist cooking, cleaning etc is what a woman should do, because it's how it's traditional. Because it's simply not true. Anyone who reads Jane Austen will know it isn't what ladies do. Tyvm.

And obviously they should learn to tidy after themselves, because we are modern and don't get to have servants now.