So, I actually know I'm being unreasonable, but I don't know why, please come and kick some sense into me...Keeping toddlers in full time childcare when on maternity leave with the second, why?

[realasitgets]

I've just realised I probably go a bit cats bum faced about it when people tell me they keep their toddler in full time childcare while they're at home full time on maternity leave with the second.

I know continuity is important etc etc..But I also know many f/t working parents who have dropped childcare down to 2 or 3 days rather than full time while on m/l/.

Why do people do this? The only reason I can think of is to keep the nursery/c/m place open. But I think I'd rather pay for it and not send them full time than be at home without them

Flame away!

This is a wind up thread, isn't it?

OK, so you hadn't chosen a high quality childcare setting then realasitgets. My point stands that if you had been using a setting where your child was happy, enjoyed their time there, was well resourced and stimulating and beneficial etc then you wouldn't have been so quick to take her out.

Many childcare providers are adequate, but you wouldn't use them if not necessary.

OP never mind those 'mothers' who send their apparent loved children into FT creche placements while they laze at home all day with the new baby.

I heard that some 'mothers' FF.......I just cannot understand why any proper mother would not BF until the child left university. I BF'd tarquin until he was 38.....then his darling wife took over.

Also there are some 'mothers' who actually refuse to leave their jobs to homeschool their own bloody children!!!! Honestly! some mothers don't deserve to breed! Like everyone knows that all schools are a hotbed of sex, drugs and rock n'roll.

I love how it's always the mothers who are crap parents.....dads are great

(Would like to rub in your face that although I don't work and haven't worked in almost 3 yrs- I send my unloved son to creche 3 days a week.....so I can drink wine and watch tv al day ).

Folks- she's a wind up merchant.....lets feed her!

"OK, so you hadn't chosen a high quality childcare setting then realasitgets"

I chose a high quality childminder. If it's your view that only a nursery is a high quality setting then we'll have to agree to disagree. I made a conscious and well researched choice to send my first baby to a childminder rather than a nursery. But that's a whole other thread...

And I was very happy with the care she received. I just felt, as her mother, I had something to offer her as well, and not just outside of office hours

"I took my firstborn out of childcare altogether when she was 22 months as soon as I went on ML with the second. She had been going 3 days a week while I worked.

So did your dd go in childcare or not "

See above.

I am with Chunkythighs

Seriously looking forward to sitting on my increasingly fat arse while on maternity leave, just a few weeks away, while DS1 is running amok at nursery. And I am unashamedly hoping that DC2 will not come too early so I can chill before his arrival.

No, no I like dogs :( That;s no good

I need something to judge you for.

Do you call your DCs bubs? Do you call your friends hun / hunni?

Any childcare provider could be high quality, whether nursery, childminder or nanny. However the fact that you cannot understand why someone would keep a child in full time childcare suggests that you have not experienced high quality care.

"Any childcare provider could be high quality, whether nursery, childminder or nanny. However the fact that you cannot understand why someone would keep a child in full time childcare suggests that you have not experienced high quality care."

Sorry rita, you're going to need to lend me a needle to stitch up my sides after that one. Best laugh I've had in ages!

What about those 'mothers' who refuse to co sleep? Personally I co slept with my Tarquin until he was 42......I am probably the only mother here who was at the conception of her grandchild thanks to co sleeping with my son and his wife.

Is it just nurseries which incur your judginess?

You didn't comment on my au pair staying in are Dc2 arrived.

I don't think people are, ahem, 'lightweights, per se for not being able to cope with 2; it's just that they struggle (not a sin, you know) to cope when the new baby has just arrived and the older is still a toddler and unable to be properly reasoned with. Once they've adjusted, coping with 2 isn't all that.

This is a total wind up

"Is it just nurseries which incur your judginess?"

You again. No, once again, from the OP "FULL TIME CHILDCARE"

Whatever form it takes.

I didn't bring up nurseries - that was every other person on here! Then I responded.

Dd started going to kindergarten 3 days aweek for 6 hours when she was 3 and a half as I had a nb baby. Kindergarten is free and is ment to prepare them for school. I think it's good for her to get out of the house and she does have fun.

I had the option of putting her in for more days but I actually had kids to teach them, spend time with them and raise them myself! Not fir someone else to raise them for me.

I don't understand why people have kids to put them in pre school straight away and full time, but then again it not my kids, not my problem and therefore none of my business. I'm doing what I think is right for my kids and I'm sure the other parents are doing the same.

Altho Must admit the poster that wrote she has her baby in nursery 5 days aweek while she stays home I put my judgy pants on [embarrassed]

Its gradually emerging that the op should have read "i think people who didn't do things exactly the way I did are scum".

I love threads like these.

-gets popcorn-

Does going for 5 days but being picked up a bit earlier count or is it only those who use the 5 days to the max that count?

If we have a second then DD will stay in nursery at least 4 days per week during ML (that is what she does now). She loves it there. They do lots of fab activities and spends time with her little chums. Home is different to nursery, but not better. I think that having some time at home (even if it was just the weekends) and some at nursery is a better balance for DD than being at home full time.

Your logic is a bit flawed. If we don't go on to have another child then DD will continue to go to nursery as I won't be at home on ML for her to stay at home with me. So being a lightweight who would be better off sticking to the one child doesn't actually provide any of the "more time at home" benefit which you seem to think is the only benefit of a sibling to the first child.

Gotta admit I have wondered the same, but never thought of people doing it for practical reasons .

When we got the free 15 hours for DD I chose to keep her at home on a Friday as it was one of my days off. I did it mainly because I couldnt be faffed with the school run it kept my day more flexible and I wanted her with me. The majority of people who knew this thought I was bonkers - usually chanting but it's free you may as well send her!!! I genuinely wanted her home with me. Won't be doing the same with my permenanty tantruming son!

When I was on mat leave with DD2, DD1 kept on her usual four day week. DH dropped her off in the morning and picked her up on his way home from work, she loved nursery and DD2 loved to wake up at night so I was delighted not to have to inflict my grumpiness on her! Nursery has a one year waiting list so I wasn't risking messing up the hours so would have been paying to keep those open anyway.

Employer improved maternity terms between DD1 and DD2 so financial situation was about the same for both leaves despite nursery costs second time around. Tbh was great with DD2 as had lots of time but without the first-time-around concerns

Ok, well, thanks now, for all replies. Most appreciaate your input, I'm off now.

Cheers.

Just seen the nursery as second best chat - eh?? Frazzled sleep deprived parent guzzling coffee and breast feeding screaming infant every two hours or painting, stories, gym, slide... Hmm, tough one.

However, I couldn't give a flying fuck what anyone else does, as long as it works for you and yours

Well, in absence of any judgy-pants, I'm going to put on my sympathy-pants

What a shame you didn't have any live-in help when your subsequent children arrived. I'm not going to lie - it's fab. :)

See ya (wouldn't want to be ya).