So, I actually know I'm being unreasonable, but I don't know why, please come and kick some sense into me...Keeping toddlers in full time childcare when on maternity leave with the second, why?

[realasitgets]

I've just realised I probably go a bit cats bum faced about it when people tell me they keep their toddler in full time childcare while they're at home full time on maternity leave with the second.

I know continuity is important etc etc..But I also know many f/t working parents who have dropped childcare down to 2 or 3 days rather than full time while on m/l/.

Why do people do this? The only reason I can think of is to keep the nursery/c/m place open. But I think I'd rather pay for it and not send them full time than be at home without them

Flame away!

OP, did you mean to out yourself as one of those 'full time nursery is soooooooo bad' people? Because I'd have appreciated it if you'd been upfront about it. Instead of composing a reasonably measured post, I'd just have hidden the thread.

I think a lot of toddlers enjoy nursery

Well the epidural was during and the e-mails were after kitchen. But the less than an hour afterwards :( because my job is mean, he was asleep and I was more than a little delusional following the birth and the ensuing rush of hormones and emotions. Not my sanest moment :)

I did it so people like you could have one thing to cling to to make them feel good about themselves - feel free to thank me :)

Thanks, I do feel good.

Brilliant - so do I - so everyone's a winner

DD goes to full time child care and I don't work at all, nor am I expecting another. It's better for her development, plus she was driving me up the wall. She's a lot less bored and destructive now, and that was with me taking her out and about, doing several activities a week, and having playdates. She thrives on being surrounded by people and activity, whereas I prefer to be alone and quiet and stay home.

I now find our time together is much less stressful, and I cope better with day to day life having a good portion of it to myself. This is pre-school age though, not tiny baby, although she did go full time when I was in college too.

So you come on here asking for people to give you reasons for their choices - in a pretty aggressive and unpleasant way, especially your posts after your OP - and then ignore most of the points people have made and continue slinging out snide judgey insults and sarcastic remarks to people?
I don't know why anyone is bothering to answer this OP, she's clearly just smug in her own perceived superiority and wants to feel good about herself by looking down on anyone who has made different choices.
What a lovely person you sound, OP.

realasitgets,i really wouldnt bother replying back as

alot obviously have NOT read your starter thread as if they had they would see you asked about being at home fulltime and nursey fulltime,not a few mornings a week

to many chips on peeps shoulders by the way theyve replied,when you were not judging a few hrs a week at nursery

think your getting a flameing for something you Havent asked

some just love an argument

and more to the point,i have no idea if you are being unreasonable as half the answers are not relevant to your ?????????

good luck

Sadly DOG no - it's not just you!

Frizzyfrazzled, what can I say? I genuinely thought someone was going to come up with something that explained it, but I still can't see why you'd send them five days a week.

I'm sure many of the people who've posted think it's a great shame my DD missed out on full time childcare during her pre school years.

rest asured 'REAL'asitgets I haven't given it a moments contemplation :)

Something that explained it TO YOU - people have reasons, which work for them, presumably their kids are happy, why bother wasting the energy on having other peoples parenting choices explained? Why be so aggressive to people who have come on here and explained their reasons to you? And by the way - holding a nursery place, getting child out and about rather than being stuck at home with mum and baby, seeing their friends, getting to play and run around etc - none of these are acceptable to you?? Seems to me like nothing would be.
I say this as a work at home mum 40 weeks pregnant with my second, and a two year old who has never been to childcare. After reading some of the sense on this thread I will certainly consider putting DS into childcare if I find it too much to deal with.

"getting child out and about rather than being stuck at home with mum and baby"

They're pretty portable, these newborn babies you know. Even the breastfed ones can be moved off the sofa once or twice. I know.

Because they can't be bothered to look after their children?

real that's no good - I can't hoik my judgey pants for things I do myself. :)

Gimme something else..................do you perhaps pierce your childrens ears, give them tea / coke in a bottle or douse them and everything they come into contact with on dettol? :)

THanks thekidsrule.

You're right, the thread has been hijacked by nursery defenders.

realasitgets - sounds like maybe you hadn't chosen a very good nursery for your DC1? So you took her out at the first opportunity.

There is a big variation in quality in childcare. Parents who are sending their toddlers to high quality settings maybe more inclined to keep their children in childcare.

I have a dog catgirl, if that helps you're more than welcome to judge away at that, that's a MN favourite. Sadly, it's not very scary. But, you know, it has teeth and stuff.

Having dog and kids?
Giving them Greggs sausage rolls
single parents
single parents on benefits
Letting them out of your sight for 10 seconds
paying for petrol while they are in the car

(just getting my bingo list sorted there)

My DC1 didn't go to nursery RitaMorgan.

Sooo... Is it just people who do it 5 days a week who incur your malice? What about if it's 4.5 days a week? Are they ok?