Honest question regarding children and public transport

[Crisolate]

Is it really so wrong to expect a child to give up their seat on a packed bus or train? Conversely just because you have a ton of shopping and the bus is packed, should you expect someone to give up their seat for your child?

And by child I mean ages eight and up.

I have to admit I get fairly hacked off when a bus is packed and a parent has let their three kids all sit down when there are elderly people without a seat.

Also my brother is legally blind and parents seem to be happy to let him stand and cling onto a pole or hang by a strap while their children hang all over his guide dog.

Little children should sit on their parents knee. I don't make ds stand up, I will stand and allow him to sit down. This is only because he's unstable on his feet and is likely to fall over (he's 12). We do move seats if there's an elderly person getting on as we usually sit near the front. It really annoys me when a young, able person sits in the seat where we've just moved from though.

I was wondering about the 'when i had legs' comment. I was thinking 'surely she ment when she didnt have her prosthetic legs on...'

No definately not. I have in the past squeezed DS on to my knee but now he's 10 we'll both stand.

I have been annoyed though that when DS was 3 he was made to stand on a train for 45mins. I picked him up for most of it but I could only carry his weight for so far. There were teens and young busniess type people that just stared out of the window. There was also another couple who had a baby and they kept having to share the load.

I think it works both ways.

I tell the DCs that as they don't have a ticket, they have to give up their seat for a grownup. If they have to sit down I give them my seat (the two little ones fit on one seat easily).

that is shocking to make a blind man stand up. I have never seen that myself.

I agree children over a certain age should give up their seats for adults. My 3 year old will scream bloody murder though to get his own seat on a train or tube so that people will give up theirs just to shut him up (this is if he's standing or on my lap). I'm not proud of it but it's one thing I've not been able to reason with him over. Must try harder I suppose. I would definitely refuse to coddle him if there was an elderly person or disabled person in need of a seat.

My experience is that people are pretty good about giving elderly and disabled seats - pregnant women not so much. I think a lot of people just don't notice though.

IMO, this issue should not arise - trains/buses/trams should only be allowed to sell seats, not standing room, for safety reasons, and all seats should be fitted with belts. I don't see why they should be different than cars in this respect.

I got a nasty hip injury once when standing in a bus, when it braked violently (thankfully did not actually crash into the car that swerved at us), my weight was suddenly thrown off balance and my hip semi-dislocated, and a child of about 5 was catapulted out of the seat in front of me and ended up in a heap at the bottom of the bus steps/door.

When I was pregnant, on several occasions on the tube people avoided my eye to a ridiculous extent, there was even a whispered conversation between a couple about whether they should stand up (they didn't), for heavily-pregnant me and wailing 4-year-old DS1. I was on the tube with DH once (he was a standing a bit away from me), and he was stunned and cross at the 'staring anywhere but at me' going on.

The one time I made ds stand on the bus he fell over so I no longer make him stand. Mind you we are nearly always upstairs where it isn't an issue. If someone needed a seat I would offer mine and leave the dc sat down. As far as I am concerned, I have paid £1.30 for them to be on the bus (which is 50p less than adults not half) for them to sit down. That said I would make them move for someone who was obviously in greater need.

Also our buses here have hardly any space for shopping so sometimes you have no choice but to keep it on the seats. Our buses are rubbish!

I think those who are less able to stand should be offered a seat by those more able to ... but I don't think children should always give up seat to any adult - I think fairly young children often find it tricky to hold on and keep their balance.
I think there are still too many remnants of less important person should give up seat to more important person. I don't like those kind of attitudes, everyone is equal, children included !
A bit shocked by your post lesley that half fare was given to children on condition of them giving up their seat if needed by an adult !

I think more people use seats for their handbags then for children.

I would give up my seat first, then thereafter, I'd ask my 11 year old and then my 8 year old. It's easier and more comfortable for me to stand than it is my children, who are smaller. The 11 year old has spontaneously stood up himself for an elderly or disabled person, because he has seen me do it.

I would also, until quite recently, sit the 8 year old on my lap. People who let their small children take up a seat whist old people are standing annoy me.

Yes of course the child should should stand up and offer their seat to an adult!!

They are either young enough to go on parents lap or old enough to stand

I have given up my seat for others, and had others give up their seat for me. I have no problem doing the first, and try and refuse the latter.

I was very annoyed when, after a long day shopping I got prodded in the back by someone and told to stand up for someone else. There was no reason why the prodder couldn't have stood instead of me (unless she had a hidden disability, but then again, how did she know I didn't?). However, it meant that instead of being able to neatly stow my bags away in the corner, under my seat and on my lap (I was not taking up two seats in case you were wondering!) I spent the rest of the journey trying to keep a hold of everything. I didn't work and some things went flying down the bus!

Was I being unreasonable to not offer my seat immediately, knowing that in all likelihood there were others on the bus more able to do so than I?

Sorry, slightly off topic but it still riles me!

I don't agree that an child should give up his seat for an able-bodied adult, although I'd be proud if they offered their seat to someone with lots of bags, for instance

I always expect me and my DCs to stand if we are on crowded public transport. I would rather we are all standing together than separated in seats, plus children are shorter so don't have so far to fall, and are a lot more resilient than adults if they fall over.

I would always opt to travel outside of peak times though if possible. I was a bit narked over half term when I was on my way home on the tube at about 5.15 and a load of 'yummy mummies' got on at South Kensington with their darling offspring, most affronted that the entire carriage didn't immediately rise to their feet to so they could travel the 3 stops (or whatever it is) to Victoria in comfort. There was a loud monologue of "oh darling, I know you're tired, but there are people are taking up all the seats aren't there, hold on really tight and Mummy will try and make sure you don't fall over..." etc etc. I didn't give up my seat.

First come first serve round this way, it seems to work well enough :)

Babydubs - I hope that doesn't apply to those who obviously have mobility issues?

Of course children should stand for adults, especially the elderly, disabled, pregnant etc. That's about having good manners and respect for others.

I was once flamed for suggesting this on a similar thread where I was as good as accused of child cruelty for teaching this to my dc.

I was brought up to stand up on public transport if someone had a greater need than me, so I always do, and so does my DD - she is 5. I think it's the height of bad manners to let children sit down when there are elderly people standing.

I always tell my kids to give up seats for adults, elderly or not. They are 7 and 10, able bodied, and they will blooming well respect their elders!

Babydubs, the problem with first come first served is that the fit and healthy can always get there first.

Ive not been on a bus for a while but round here the service is okay, in that there is a bus around every half hour/15 minutes. No one folds up pushchairs, Ive never seen anyone move to accomodate anyone else, but again Ive never seen it be a problem, when people get on the driver will often shout to fill from the back..so everyone moves to the back. If Ive been to catch a bus with the pushchair and there were no spaces I just waited for the next one.

Judging by mumsnet bus threads I realise i must live on the moon but this is the way it is round here...and wheel chairs....Ive only ever seen one woman using a wheel chair, everyone moves for her, well not for her more to get away from her husband...very strange man she could do much better.

When my nan used to get the bus, long time ago, she was walking to the back of the bus when someone stopped her to offer their seat at the front, her response was along the lines of, "I've managed to walk here from my house, will be walking all round town when I get off and back again, i can manage the few steps to the back of the bus for an empty seat lovie" loved her logic

why should a child have to give up their seat? They have every right to that seat as anyone else. If you feel the need to be nice and offer a seat offer your own. But do not expect everyone else must have the same passion as you do to give up seats.