A [not particularly] stealthy brag, but a bit of a rant

[MarinaIvy]

This morning, during busy commuter time, I helped a young mother, her twin pushchair (loaded with what must be two very good eaters!), her suitcase, her elderly relative, and her adorable toddler down the stairs at my London train station.

All around us commuters were getting exasperated, because we weren't moving at breakneck speed. There was some shoving, some tsking, but most people just looked irritated and got past as fast as they could. Two gentlemen, however, stepped in to help carrying things, even got protective and chided some people trying to shove past. And a couple of people smiled, but didn't get involved.

So here's the rant: why can't people, upon seeing people who need help, Just Do It? Accept there's a blockage and, instead of fuming, help "unblock". If more people had helped from the outset we could have done it all much faster, which would have been better for everybody, not just the mother & crew, but everybody, by clearing the stairs faster.

I'm being philosophical about it - it hasn't ruined my day - on the contrary, for the "price" of a minute of effort, and some desperately needed exercise!, I earned a good feeling that will last me a while (I hope). And I'm vastly cheered by the thought that my reward (and the punishment the gits in the crowd get) is that they have to live with themselves and I don't.

But still. What do Mumsnetters think?

I honestly have never understood people who don't help people

The answer is people are selfish. Simple as that. They want to do what they want to do and sod everyone else.

I have people tutting at me constantly when I'm getting on off the bus with a pram full of shopping and bus driver decides it will be easier for me if he parks further away from the kerb

When I first moved down to London I asked a 'business suited man' for directions. His plummy reply "I dont have time, Ive a tube to catch" I just thought what a twat he was.

I always help people who need it. It takes a minute and makes you feel good.

Dh works in London a lot. After an operation which left him on crutches, he was on the train to London, carrying a rucksack, laptop case and an over night bag, no one stopped to help him. Like you op he was barged past, pushed, made to feel as if he was a total inconvenience in front of people, it was clear he was struggling and no one stopped. It's a society of each to Thier own, and very sad.

Because some people just don't care?

They are probably the same people who will see an incident, abusive or violent, say they don't want to get involved and go off on their way without a second thought, when the simple fact is they could go out of earshot and ring the police.

BBSideBurns (btw, love your tag - I agree!): Once I rang 999 to report two men kicking the crap out of another, and the 999 operator/policewoman, kept going back to referring to it as a "fight", even though I repeatedly told her "there's two men, both with short hair, beating up on another man, with longer hair, he's lying on the ground", etc. She got on my case because I couldn't describe the colour of the men's trousers (it was nighttime, FFS!) and ultimately they didn't find the guys (despite the fact that I told them exactly which direction they went, and they were still making lots of noise).

No, there's no excuse for not making the call. But the way I was treated made me wonder if it's worth it.

I think London is a law unto itself though. Having worked through two pregnancies commuting on the tube everyday and less than 10 people ever standing up for me (and that is through both pregnancies) and having buggered my knee & had to go to work on crutches for 3 months & even less people offering me a seat - I really do believe that London tube travellers have had their manners surgically removed!!!! (Except for MarinaIvy of course.)

Well done for helping and enjoy the feeling.

It is such a shame that people don't help. Helping makes everyone feel better, the person being helped and the person doing the helping. Nastiness makes everyone feel bad.

It's not always that way, I was on the tube (Northern Line) one morning and people were being polite and friendly. I did think I'd woken up in some sort of alternative reality though.

People in London are just horrible. We lived there when I was pregnant with dd1 and then often went back to visit PILs, when I was commuting and obviously pregnant (8 months on) I was regularly elbowed and shoved- would not even imagine that someone might have offered me a seat. In fact once I was the only person who stood up to let a mum with a wriggly younger toddler to hold sit down. Then when we were back with an actual baby, people would practically attack the buggy to get past. No use asking conductors/staff to help as they all took an 'it's not my job, my only job is to check tickets' (wtf? Their job is ALSO to help people, historically and I'm pretty sure in their contracts too) attitude. Very glad not to live there with kids (the ability to afford somewhere decent to live outside London also an advantage).

Thanks PBB: I had similar issues when I was pregnant. The number of people who never stood up on the bus was hilarious! Must be something really relaxing about London, because everybody is capable of such thorough sleep that they can't notice a woman with 1. Obvious bump, 2. "baby on board" badge and 3. crutches.

BTW, I used to be an asshole. But then I moved away from New York.

I think we all have to just keep on with it - don't let the rude people win! Every time we do something nice, we shame those who don't. (So, in this sense, I guess I'm being selfish - I am determined that my political reality of the world will win in the end).

OP struck a chord with me. I had DD1 in London and often struggled onto the Tube with pram and bags etc. while people stood around and tutted. Funnily enough, it was always the roughest, scariest looking blokes that would stop to help me up and down stairs with the pram etc. and were so nice. (Not suggesting the OP is a rough, scary looking bloke!!) Well dressed city boys couldn't shove their way past fast enough. Certainly made me think long and hard about judging on first appearances.

people are twats. getting pissed off with people with small kids, buggies etc getting in the way, ffs were they never babies / little kids themselves?

you sound lovely OP, well done for helping.

OK, guys, gotta actually do some work now (let's see how long that good feeling lasts), but thanks for the validation, and keep chatting away, if you like!

Going to celebrate now with a nice ham sandwich, too.

Nun It is the rough looking ones who often help. I crashed my car on the motorway pretty badly. Think totalled car with doors mashed and unopenable. Multiple flash business cars just past/drove round me before a truck driver stopped, got me out of the car, made sure I was all right and stayed with me until the emergency services came.

Well done OP on your good deed.

I actually feel a bit traumatised by going into london these days. i must be getting old. I actually remember feeling a bit tearful at waterloo with all the rude barging people with "Very Important Lives".
well done for helping OP

It's not a London thing and 'people in London' (what, all of 'em? ) are not just horrible. Every time I get the tube in London I see people helping others with kids/bags/crutches etc. I've been offered seats and helped out loads of times and I do what I can too, but unfortunately I have long-term injuries/health issues that mean I can't do much lifting or carrying of heavy things.

Sorry but I hate mindless London-bashing and this thread seems to have turned into a 'that London' thread. There are selfish/hurried/thoughtless people everywhere. But thankfully there are also thoughtful helpful people like the OP everywhere too. Yep, even in London.

I watched a program last week called the tube, I was shocked at how rude people were.
One of the workers said the someone was once laid at the bottom of the escalators having a heart attack and people were trampling over him nobody stopped to help !

LadyClarice, I agree that not all people in London are horrible. However, having lived in it for 20 years & travelled daily on the tube (apart from 2 materntiy leaves) - I do think that London tube travellers are for the most part selfish & uncaring. I am not sure that this is their way of being when they are not on the tube, but possibly in order to survive the hell that is the daily commute - they become that way.

A stranger in London named Andy, carried my broken suitcase from St Pancras to Euston Station while I hobbled alongside on crutches. I was in tears of gratitude. Thank you Andy.

I was a bit scared of going on the tube in London with DS in his pushchair (country bumpkin!), but actually it was fantastic. Every journey we made, someone offered me their seat as I was holding fidgety toddler DS. People talked to him and smiled at us, and were generally lovely. Granted, most of the journeys weren't at rush hour, but it was busy and really changed my view of London.

I've encountered plenty of much ruder people elsewhere in the country. :(