A [not particularly] stealthy brag, but a bit of a rant

[MarinaIvy]

This morning, during busy commuter time, I helped a young mother, her twin pushchair (loaded with what must be two very good eaters!), her suitcase, her elderly relative, and her adorable toddler down the stairs at my London train station.

All around us commuters were getting exasperated, because we weren't moving at breakneck speed. There was some shoving, some tsking, but most people just looked irritated and got past as fast as they could. Two gentlemen, however, stepped in to help carrying things, even got protective and chided some people trying to shove past. And a couple of people smiled, but didn't get involved.

So here's the rant: why can't people, upon seeing people who need help, Just Do It? Accept there's a blockage and, instead of fuming, help "unblock". If more people had helped from the outset we could have done it all much faster, which would have been better for everybody, not just the mother & crew, but everybody, by clearing the stairs faster.

I'm being philosophical about it - it hasn't ruined my day - on the contrary, for the "price" of a minute of effort, and some desperately needed exercise!, I earned a good feeling that will last me a while (I hope). And I'm vastly cheered by the thought that my reward (and the punishment the gits in the crowd get) is that they have to live with themselves and I don't.

But still. What do Mumsnetters think?

We go on the tube a lot to hospital appointments dragging twin 3 year olds around is not much fun but we have only had a couple of rude incidents. One suited chap told my 3 year old to move from a seat so He could sit down.....,my boy said no I.need to.sit down my head hurts...,much more please leave the seat I.pay x amount for a ticket blah blah blah my son then got up turned around showed suit the back of his head (had brain surgery 5 days previously so had a Lovley fresh scar running down his head ) repeated my head hurts and suit wandered off muttering .

I have also had people offer to hang on to one of the boys on escalators for me as well.
They are also prone to breaking out in song on busy trains..... accompained by you can join in whenever you want ;-)

Los of my friends live in London and seem to think it is the coolest thing ever. However, from where I am standing, living in London seems to just turn even the most down to earth of people into pretentious and selfish zombies. They think that suicidal people and people who are finding it difficult to get down the stairs/get on the train as total inconveniences. But its ok because they are 'londoners' dont you know...

I live in London and commute daily. I do witness acts of selfishness but I also witness people helping out with carrying prams and luggage and giving seats to those who need them. I've been helped several times with heavy bags on the tube and will always help people who need it if I'm able to.

Last night I was guilty of 'ignoring' someone who needed a seat - because I fell asleep on tube. When I woke up and saw her, I gave her the seat.

People are selfish at times...there's no doubt about that.

But I imagine if you're travelling to work during rush hour day in and day out, you can't help everyone every single day.

For all we know, those who walked past to catch their trains might have helped someone with a buggy the day before...and the day before that too.

No-one can afford to be late for work, especially not more than once a week or so.

and actually to clarify further - it should be "London rush hour tube travellers are for the most part selfish & uncaring".

I'm always very touched by the number of people who help me. One guy apologised profusely because he didn't realise I was walking down the stairs behind him carrying the buggy.

I always used to help people before DD was born - male or female. I hate seeing people struggle.

I think sometimes people are so focussed on getting to work, or wherever they're going that they can't think about anything else.

everlong, I wasn't responding to you. If anyone, it was Wibbly's assertion that 'People in London are just horrible.' What a blanket statement.

People everywhere can be nice and helpful, or rude and horrid.

Somebody once did an article in the Guardian complaining about how rude people were to her if she got on the tube in rush hour with a pushchair. Most of the comments were on the lines of "You shouldn't bring a baby out on the tube at rush hour" and "If you don't want to be inconvenienced, you shouldn't have babies."

Oh yes and I should point out, I live in London and I don't think I ever waited any more than a minute or two for someone to offer to help me with the kid's buggies.

Obviously I avoided rush hour at all costs but on the rare occasions I had to travel, someone would still offer...just as the OP and two other people offered to help on this occasion.

I live on the outskirts of London, and I have to say that I'm always amazed at how helpful people are. If I've got the pushchair someone nearly always offers to help with steps, and I also nearly always get offered the 'priority seat' so that I can sit next to the pushchair.

Having said that, I rarely travel at rush hour, and I can manage fine without help- so I suppose I don't really notice the times when it's not offered.

OP, you did a kind thing and I bet the family were very grateful.

When PG with DC1 i had to take a weekly trip into London for a college course. I would catch a bus from a major train station to Notting Hill and pretty much every journey i was offered a seat by an 'African Auntie' as i nicknamed them.

The ladies, dressed in their traditional African robes, would see me enter the bus with bump, stand up and shout (and i mean shout) from the back of the bus for me to come and sit down where there was a free seat or offer one of their own seats up for me. Right from having a visible bump i never stood. I put it down to confidence and just being a bit more socially aware. Plus they never sat with their faces hidden in the Metro.

I almost switched off at the post which said 'all people in London are horrible' , but actually like most people who live here, I have witnessed people being both polite and selfish. Imagine!

I don't think you should bring a buggy on the train or tube in rush hour either, unless you can't possibly avoid it.

I was only ever offered a seat on the tube by hooded youths, and find the ones that help me carry a suitcase or a buggy up or down stairs are usually the ones people would assume would never help (young, "street" looking)

I always help people where I can, if no one helped anyone this world would be a very sad place.

We're only biologically programmed to care for 150 people. Most people on the tube don't count.

A lack of concern for the welfare of our fellow human beings and the 'I?m alright Jack' attitude. It depresses me.

DH is always very slow to offer help and it really frustrates me. (esp as he is big and strong and very good at whisking buggies onto trains, lugging suitcases up steps! etc.) I think with him it is he is slightly embarrassed to approach people and doesn't want to get involved. No excuse but that's how he is. But he would never tut and shove.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunbar%27s_number

not everyone in and around London are horrid! That is a bit of a sweeping statement.

Just because we were talking about London to begin with. Equally there are people all over the world who are selfish and unhelpful and others who go out of their way to help those in need.

I have never had a bad experience with the DC and a buggy on London Transport, but then dont use it at rush hour. Many people have helped me up and down stairs with DC and a buggy - until I bought a lightweight Maclaren with a shoulder strap! That was a bloody godsend for us.

Like someone else upthread my DC sing on the tube or play eye spy - its so funny the amount of people who are obviously bored to death and start to play! Makes me

oh and my DH (suited, city person) ALWAYS helps others, I know because he comes home and tells me that today while others tutted and humphed he helped carry a case/buggy up/down some stairs at the tube station.

I live in London and I am lovely!

Seriously though I had loads of help with pushchairs etc when DDs were small. I didn't get a seat much when I was pregnant but I honestly think people are just trying to block out the fact they're on public transport and they just don't notice - paper, ipod, laptop etc. People don't look up, it's that simple.

Just hit their heads a few times with your bump and they tend to get the message.

Commuting in the rush hour in London is a vile experience, it can be absolutely soul destroying doing it day after day, year after year.

One common way to get through the horror of being jammed right next to strangers twice a day is just to switch off completely, immerse yourself in the Metro/Evening Standard/iPod etc, make no eye contact with anyone and just hope that the journey ends soon. Actually looking at someone is unnerving, as some perceive it as a threat. So, most people just switch off and I think this is why people don't help.

FWIW,I spent 10 years commuting in and around London, and used to help where I could BUT I'd be thinking all the time "why are you trying to do this journey in the rush hour you stupid woman/man/whatever, you're going to get trodden on"

As a London tube commuter at rush hour I do empathise, however I do wonder how many of the posters complaining here actually do commute.

I also help where I can but the situation you describe sounds like madness. I am sure she had soemthing v important to do and no other way of doing it, but 3 CHILDREN, AN OLD LADY, A DOUBLE BUGGY and london rush hour were never going to mix. Also, there were three people helping them down the stairs in the scenario you explain. They were causing a blockage and were well within their rights to, but I wouldn't have stopped and exacerbated the problem.