aibu to think that if a man wishes to marry you he'll propose?

[clicarhel]

I'm not talking about the thousands of long-term couples who have a heart-to-heart and decide to get married as a sensible option and to have a nice 'icing-on-the-cake' wedding here.

I mean younger couples with no dc's. Isn't really a case in these situations that if a man really wishes marriage, he'll propose and women who actually do the asking are just forcing the issue when they guy doesn't really want to be married to them (or at least not yet)?

yabu - am proposing today

I agree.

It is really unattractive and unfeminine for a woman to force herself on a man.

Traditionally men didn't just propose, though.

There would be alot of vetting by the mothers of the young person's possible choices and then the couples would meet and the fathers would have talks and then the groom would approach the bride's father and then, he would carry out a token proposal.

This took different forms in different societies, with the possible involement of a matchmaker.

Even in the 1950's it was unusual not to have the families ok, first.

A man would have the male relatives to deal with, if the family didn't show their approval by allowing them to date, in the first place.

Times change and so do traditions.

I am very in favour of matchmakers, they would really help a lot of people.

orange or mint hullgully?

yes

Orange ones are best

It's really unattractive for anyone to force themselves on anyone else. I don't think that asking your partner to marry them is forcing yourself on them. What's gender got to do with it?

Let's not forget that it used to be the case that the man 'proposed ie asked the father if he could have the woman, but the woman wasn't allowed to say no, she was just handed over.

Mine's a mint thanks :) ... a you say - oh go on then!

Did anyone see a Mumsnetter quoted on the comedy show tonight?

Chipping yes I did - and Lauren said 'Hello Mumsnet!' - does that mean she's one of the celebs secretly lurking here? If so, hello Lauren!