WIBU to book a 'pamper' party for 7yo?

[GreatBallsOfFluff]

DD is turning 7 soon and I'm trying to think of what to do for her birthday. For the last 3 years I have hired a hall and had an entertainer/dj but I simply cannot afford it this year.

I'm really not good with entertaining and interacting with other people's children which is why I've always done that sort of party. The thought of having 7 or 8 of her friends at my home to entertain for 2 hours fills me with absolute dread.

I suggested to DD going bowling with a few friends. She wasn't interested. I suggested taking her and a couple of friends to the cinema. Again, she said no. I asked her what she wanted, and she shrugged. I then (foolishly) suggested a pamper type party with nail varnish and the like. She really liked the idea

So I've had a quick look around the internet and found the following:

PAMPER 2)
The mini princess Pamper age 4 up
This glittery party is recommended for children of all ages. All products are non toxic & kiddie friendly where possible & always age appropriate. Shimmery make-up is applied to cheeks, eyelids & lip gloss to create fun glamour!

Price includes:

Themed invitations
Gentle file & paint for fingers OR toes
Glitter & sparkle non toxic polish & nail stickers/art (age 4+)
Glitter make-up Age appropriate make-up (shimmering cheeks, eye shadow & lip gloss)
Face jewels
Hair straighteners, crimpers & heated tongs.
Fruit punch fountain with pink plastic cocktail glasses & accessories
Glitter hair Highlights
Spray of perfume
Aftercare advice
CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFO

So I was wondering what you would all think if your little girl was invited to a party like this, or is it an absolutely stupid idea which I shouldn't even entertain doing, and convince DD that a perfect idea for her 7th birthday would be perhaps her first sleepover with her best friend?

Please be gentle

I am not keen on them tbh. I am very anti curling tongd/hair straighteners even if it is only at a party.

Dd aged 9 went to a party recently and the first thing the mum said was "don't you want to put a bit of make up on?". She was incredulous that dd wasnt covered in blusher.

Next years party is tattoo and piercing.

I hired a beautician for my daughter's 6th birthday, she just did their nails. She had a plastic till and we gave them little cards with their names on to use as "money". They absolutely loved it.

No for all sorts of reasons.

Little girls do not need make-up, shimmering or otherwise.

It encourages division of gender right from the start - there aren't going to be any boys there, I presume.

Plus, the word "pamper" makes me physically sick, along with the word "treat".

WHY do people want to dress their children as grown up women, is this sending children the message that they are not beautiful enough already without putting make up on :( I think its very sad and when we all end up wiht teenagers wanting to dress up like something out of big fat gypsy wedding we will be wondering where it all come from and looking for someone else to blame!

I am a rainbow leader. One of our recent sessions was a photo booth party. We assembled a huge pile of dressing up clothes and the girls put together an outfit and then had their photo done. We had cowgirls and vampires, mermaids and tigers. There was a lot of role play and story making. Great fun.
I think my point is that girls at that age like to play act the role they are dressed up for. I would rather see them playing as dragons and fairies than as small katie prices.

Speak for yourself, bettybat. I love make up but don't wear it everyday as I can't be bothered and I'm confident enough to go out without any make up and I have very ungroomed hair. I do have haighlights put in my hair but I only go to get my hair done twice a year, if that.However on occasion I like putting on eye shadow or doing my nails purely for a bit of fun and because I enjoy it. And I would imagine that's how little girls feel about it, they wouldn't see it as any different from having face paint put on. I wouldn't have a problem with this kind of party. My dds are 5 and 3 and they went to a soft play party last weekend, where, they played, went on the to karts and also had their nails and make up done. The make up was quite subtle and so far neither of them are showing any signs of wanting to be the next Katie Price.

I'd worry if a little girl wanted to wear make up every day or was being plastered in heavy make up and being given spray tans and false eyelashes, but the odd bit of make up at a party is fairly harmless imo. I remember having Sindy nail varnish when I was little and my mum gave me a little set of perfume samplers , like Tweed and Panache and I treasured that for years! Then when I was about 9 or 10 I asked for some make up for Xmas, don't think my mum was very keen, but she for me some and I used it a couple of times and after that I never wore a scrap of make up until I was 17.

Thinking about the sort of parties my mum used to do, they were very much themed with lots of games. Nowadays the fashion seems to be to rent somewhere, swimming pool or soft play or something, but that's pretty much something you can do every day, isn't it?

I'd get creative - get them making things, playing games, dressing up in silly costumes. So much more appropriate than some group glamourising.

halcyondays, a little girl might not see it as anything different to a bit of face paint, but society sure as hell does. Otherwise, we'd see adults wandering down the street with clown make-up on.

There's nothing wrong with little girls and boys putting on some nail varnish or eye shadow on at home or whatever as part of play. Institutionalising it in the form of a party is not the same as play.

Whether or not some of the girls will go away and never put any make-up on ever again, it introduces the idea of make-up for the purposes of looking nice, rather than for the purposes of playing. Not something just for adults, but for them.

The two aren't mutually exclusive. The dds went to another party where they played games, did a bit of colouring and had their faces painted and nail varnish but on. They also made little bracelets. It was a great party and they loved it.

Op, if you're looking to save money, I would have thought the party package you describe wouldn't come cheap, although I suppose it depends how many you invite? Do you have any friends or family you could rope in to help you do a party, then you could hire a hall and play a few simple games like pass the parcel and maybe get someone to do face painting and nail varnish? Print off ame colouring sheets?

Did the boys also have nail varnish put on?

The way some people put their make up on these days, they do look like clowns.

I see no difference between someone having nail varnish on at home or at a party, as long as it isn't being taken to seriously. Actually I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to look nice, as long as it isn't the only thing you think about in life.

I find the whole concept tacky and a bit Grim. turning 4 year olds into 'pampered' , painted dolls. What kind of message doe sthat give them ? You must paint yourself in glitter in order to be acceptable to society. DD has a friend whose mum is of the pampered princess variety. The child is 9 and spends more time preening in the mirror than she does playing and more time in tears about her lip gloss being lost than she does laughing with her friends. Let them be kids.

I don't know, yrc. Does it matter? Some of the girls wore dresses, but I don't believe any of the boys did:)

Yes, but then I'm assuming it wasn't a dress-wearing party halcyondays.

Well, I imagine that 7 year old boys would have no more wanting to have sparkly nail varnish put on, than they would want to wear party dresses? Does that mean the girls shouldn't wear dresses, if that's what they want?

You can also get pamper parties for boys, although they do them as pirates.

I have a DS. When i was a child i would have loved this!! My parents wouldn't have accepted the invite, i know for sure! If i had a DD, i'd let her go to the party! :)

I find it problematic. Why does a 7 year old not want nail varnish on? That doesn't just spring from nowhere.

I'm not saying the girls shouldn't wear dresses. I'm saying it's not really great to encourage them into this mindset that make-up is a thing they should be interested in.

halcyondays I too have many days without feeling the need to add things/hide so called imperfections. But we are all complete fools if none of us recognise what the very base reason for doing ANY of that is.

I subscribe to it, and so do you by occasionally putting highlights in your hair or occasionally using make up. And the thing is - I am not even judging you for it! The majority of women do it, some to the extreme, others occasionally.

But the issue is - MOST of us feel the need/urge/want to do it at some point. Have you never wondered actually, what is underneath that? Whether it is conforming to societies expectations or to attract a mate. Whatever.

And the thing is, you don't see the same expectation of men. Yeah, a small minority of men might say they've worn tinted moisturiser or something. But on the vast whole, men are not expected to present themselves in the same way women are.

Little girls should be discouraged from this for as long as possible. I'm not going to apologise if that doesn't jive with your world view. I think you are really, really short sighted to not at least recognise what is underneath all this, to think it's harmless. We tell ourselves it's harmless because we are grown women, to whatever level, all subscribe to it. But it's not - it's really, really not harmless.

Just re-read, I meant a 7-year-old boy, not just a 7-year-old.

I too wear make-up, dye my hair, shave my legs and all the rest of it. I don't always but I often do. And I do it because I want to look nice. And society wants me to look nice.

My dd (8) loves getting nail polish on her toes. Mostly because it's the only piece of make up I wear on a day to day basis I suspect.

To me it's no different than choosing shoes that she likes or the lunchbox she wanted.

She would probably really enjoy the pamper party, although I'd prefer it to be more like MaryZ's.

not something I would be happy about at all....but each to their own as others have said. I personally don't think its appropriate, they're only little for such a short time and IMO at that age should be running about playing party games and being small kids!
Surely hiring a hall and having party games can't be more expensive than having someone come in and do a pamper party?

I run a children party company based in Cheshire and do not agree with applying make up to young girls, we dont offer pamper parties for children under ten and even then we dont offer makeup, our Princess party and mini diva party incorporates craft activities with games and a "makeover" which is actually done using very expensive face paint products (not snazaroo) , the girls get flowery eye designs which mums love because its not make up..I am a mum of three girls myself and think children should be able to stay children for as long as possible..Incidentally I have had my work published in face and body art mags and regularly instruct at conventions so its not dodgy flowers from a face painting book , so we get lots of repeat bookings because its a lot more wow, but age appropriate so everyone is happy

I am not keen on these sorts of parties. Nail varnish at a push, transfers perhaps, lip gloss... But you can buy all that yourself, you don't need to buy someone in. And it would be one girl at a time, you'll need to think of an activity for those who are waiting. Not an ideal 'party' idea, but perhaps a 'mum and daughter birthday treat' instead?

I never thought I'd be a mum who advocates nail varnish, but I found it was the only incentive to stop my daughter biting her nails. Desperate times.... ;)

I am not really someone who worries about conforming to expectations, i haven't epilated my legs for ages, but
I could never bring myself to go swimming with hairy legs on show. Many young dc are attracted to bright sparkly things, dd1 has always been drawn to the "blinds" stand in shops like a moth to a flame. So It's not so much that girls are encouraged into it as boys that are encouraged out of it. Very young boys would dress up as anything but as they get a bit older they would be teased by other boys for being girly. Whereas it's more acceptable for a girl to be into "boys" things.

No you don't see the same expectations of men, although I think most men like to look nice too, to be considered attractive, but there are different expectations of what makes men look attractive.

If that's what you want to do, then go for it :) I would actually do it myself though. For my daughter's 9th birthday last year, she had a sleepover for her 4 closest friends. I let them use my foot spa in the morning & choose some of my lotion to rub in heir feet & I then painted their toe nails.