WIBU to book a 'pamper' party for 7yo?

[GreatBallsOfFluff]

DD is turning 7 soon and I'm trying to think of what to do for her birthday. For the last 3 years I have hired a hall and had an entertainer/dj but I simply cannot afford it this year.

I'm really not good with entertaining and interacting with other people's children which is why I've always done that sort of party. The thought of having 7 or 8 of her friends at my home to entertain for 2 hours fills me with absolute dread.

I suggested to DD going bowling with a few friends. She wasn't interested. I suggested taking her and a couple of friends to the cinema. Again, she said no. I asked her what she wanted, and she shrugged. I then (foolishly) suggested a pamper type party with nail varnish and the like. She really liked the idea

So I've had a quick look around the internet and found the following:

PAMPER 2)
The mini princess Pamper age 4 up
This glittery party is recommended for children of all ages. All products are non toxic & kiddie friendly where possible & always age appropriate. Shimmery make-up is applied to cheeks, eyelids & lip gloss to create fun glamour!

Price includes:

Themed invitations
Gentle file & paint for fingers OR toes
Glitter & sparkle non toxic polish & nail stickers/art (age 4+)
Glitter make-up Age appropriate make-up (shimmering cheeks, eye shadow & lip gloss)
Face jewels
Hair straighteners, crimpers & heated tongs.
Fruit punch fountain with pink plastic cocktail glasses & accessories
Glitter hair Highlights
Spray of perfume
Aftercare advice
CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFO

So I was wondering what you would all think if your little girl was invited to a party like this, or is it an absolutely stupid idea which I shouldn't even entertain doing, and convince DD that a perfect idea for her 7th birthday would be perhaps her first sleepover with her best friend?

Please be gentle

I'd turn down the invitation sorry. I'm not comfortable with the idea of little girls being primped and styled tbh.

Dd had a traditional kids party a couple of weeks ago with jelly and ice cream, musical chairs and pass the parcel. All of them loved it. We had a treasure box where they could pick a prize if they won (lots of games had multiple winners) they got stickers or sweets if they didn't win.

They started by making a cake box and decorating cupcakes, they took one home in their box and ate the others with the party food.

It was a lot of fun and pretty easy to organise tbh.

Love Maryz party idea, I'd be happy for dd to attend that one.

I have to say that I find the fact that this package is considered suitable for 4 year olds disturbing.

My dd is only 2 so this stuff hasn't come up yet but I am dreading it. At age 7 I woudn't be happy with this. The relentless marketing of pink, fluffy, glittery shit to girls really depresses me.

why then is nobody worried about pirate parties promoting avarice, violence, pro-criminal attitudes, and poor diction?

honestly, kids can tell the difference between pretend play and what's acceptable in real life.

Except, Charlotte, that the beautification and objectification of women is real life and many feel that parents should resist it rather than be complicit in it in this way.

I don't do parties...I think its just paying to impress other children's parents.

What I do do, though, is have 1 or 2 special friends round for a cinema trip or something similar and a birthday tea and a play at home . Much less expensive, children get on together because they are friends,and no stress!

Folk girl
You beat me to it.

Indeed dad's in general are not pirates in real life

Dd went to one with a slightly different emphasis. The girls mainly sat in an outdoor hot tub and played/chattered, then in pairs/groups went inside to make face masks with oats/ honey. Nail painting may have happened, but not hair and make up.

Supporting values of violence, avarice, and gang culture is real life too folkgirl - i work in criminal justice and see plenty of young men who clearly would have benefited from more appropriate role models than pirates....

Crumpet
How old was your DD for this party? Do little girls really like sitting in a hot tub?

I agree, Charlotte, and my first (longer) reply did include that very point.

However, whilst those values are adopted by some, they aren't prevalent, or the norm, in all sections of society. It's something you have to opt into.

Whereas the objectification of women is prevalent across all sections of society, all classes, at all levels of education and is pervasive. It is prevalent and it is a norm and it is something you have to opt out of.

I don't agree with glamourising the values you've described, but I think that pirate parties are 'a bit of fun' whilst pamper parties are a lot more insidious.

'longer reply which I deleted' I should have said!

DD went to a Pamper party when she was 10 and hated it. Neither of us realised from the party invitation that it was a pamper party. DD and her best friend didn't want pampering so they wandered off and did their own thing while the others were having nails and make-up done.

If you do go ahead with this type of party I would talk to the parents of the children you want to invite first and see what they think.

I think it's really young for that kind of thing. I have no problems with my kids experimenting with makeup and so on from any age - boy or girl - but I don't think it should be institutionalised and commercialised like this. It might also start all sorts of pressure developing within the friendship group.

I would suggest the following options for a 7 year old girl's party:

1. Turn living room into a pretend cinema and serve pizza and popcorn, whilst showing a favourite movie. Have a movie quiz afterwards, with a prize.

1. Swimming party - take half a dozen kids to the local pool with the appropriate number of helpers, and give them hot dogs and chips in the cafe afterwards.

1. Cooking party - get them all making biscuits in the kitchen, and decorating them afterwards, and let them take them home in little cellophane bags. If you are handy it would not be hard to run up a load of little aprons on a sewing machine and iron on some sort of party logo as well, to give it all a bit of style.

Hooooo, no chance for me. I had a problem being invited to a soft play party where the girls were encouraged to come in Disney Princess dresses, with scattered references to their 'prettiness' on the invitations (soft play in a hooped skirt? really?). But I'd be very uncomfortable at this.

Not so much the make up or nails - I'd have no worries with nail stickers or face paints for boys or girls. But hair, fake cocktails, proper manicures and all - absolutely a different thing altogether.

Could you just limit it to face painting and disco dancing? How about asking the local dance centre if they have someone to come and teach them a dance to their favourite Wand Erection song or whatever?

I've had great success with baking tons of fairy cakes and cookies (or you could buy madelines) and setting out icing table so that they can decorate them.

I'd be really uncomfortable. Think about it. Really, honestly - why do we wear make up, make our hair do things it doesn't naturally do? We, as grown women, do all these pampering things - we groom ourselves and make ourselves up for the attraction of society, other women's approval and to catch the eye of men.

I don't think it's sexualisation exactly, but it's mixed in there. I conform and subscribe to wedging my feet into shoes that are really bad for me, I put awful chemicals on my hair and paint intricate make up on my face. I tell myself it is my choice, as a woman and as a grown up. But I am still conforming to society's and separately, men's expectations of me. It is about turning myself into something different and telling myself on a daily basis that my natural hair and my makeup free face is not fit for public consumption. As much as we tell ourselves a bit of make up, a bit of grooming, a bit of making yourself a better you is harmless, it's not really - it's just that it's so completely part of the fabric of our society, we haven't realised in our consciousness what it actually means.

I get that we all do it, that each generation of little girls will turn into teenagers, young women and fully adult women who will make their own choices about these things. I'd be a massive hypocrite to say otherwise - hell, I'm on a thread in Style and Beauty where I'm chatting away about my grooming routine.

But it just makes me sad that such young girls - really young girls - are a) so aware and conscious of the perceived need or want to do these things and that b) they're not discouraged to do it, for just a little while longer. They're just little girls. They shouldn't be thinking about ways to improve themselves - no matter which way you slice it, at a subconscious level they have picked up on the way society still places value judgement values on the female gender.

Thank you everyone. I appreciate all opinions and see that the majority would not like their dds going to a party like this. Thanks for all the ideas.

I had dds friend round a couple of weeks ago. I had pre made cakes, made different coloured icing and just let them go nuts with different decorations etc. Kept the two of them quiet for a bit. Maybe something like that, along with a bit of dancing and games may be good (and manageable for me )

Thank you also for not jumping on me

The thing I find saddest about women's beauty are the statistics about how many avoid exercise in case it messes up their carefully maintained hair, and how many have major foot problems from wearing attractive but poorly fitting shoes.

We compromise our health and hobble our feet - and for what, at the end of the day?

BoffinMum - completely agree and while I am a total hypocrite with regards to shoes, I try to counter it by going barefoot as much as possible. Or in winter, running in the woods in these

They are actually quite scary. Make you look as though you have webbed feet!!!

Can't see a problem with it apart from heated hair appliances. Although just as a one off i wouldnt mind her hair being crimped etc. My dd is 4 and would love it tbh. Dd and ds2 love messing about with my make up.
The make up is hardly being troweled on just a bit of sparkly stuff not quite a Jordan/Amy child's full face.

However I love the sound of Maryz party, instead of waiting around for their turn they can do each others hair and make up, while keeping the cost down for you as I can imagine these parties aren't cheap. Loads of fun!

Not to thread hijack but they are the most awesome, comfortable "trainers" I've ever had. I could wax lyrical for ever about how modern trainers are so terrible for us, and I wanted something to emulate the awesomeness of going barefoot!

Ooh DD would love this i don't see a problem myself, little girls like make up (some do anyway i liked trains :)), don't know if i would be keen on the hair straightning but DD has a wire brush on her head so don't know if the outcome would be that great.

If it is what your daughter wants discuss it with the other parents and see what they think, if it's really a no how about a cupcake or pizza making party?

My DD is 7 and I wouldn't have that kind of party for her. I would also turn down an invite if she got one. Sorry but that's just me.