Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WIBU to book a 'pamper' party for 7yo?

323 replies

GreatBallsOfFluff · 24/02/2012 21:30

DD is turning 7 soon and I'm trying to think of what to do for her birthday. For the last 3 years I have hired a hall and had an entertainer/dj but I simply cannot afford it this year.

I'm really not good with entertaining and interacting with other people's children which is why I've always done that sort of party. The thought of having 7 or 8 of her friends at my home to entertain for 2 hours fills me with absolute dread.

I suggested to DD going bowling with a few friends. She wasn't interested. I suggested taking her and a couple of friends to the cinema. Again, she said no. I asked her what she wanted, and she shrugged. I then (foolishly) suggested a pamper type party with nail varnish and the like. She really liked the idea Hmm Confused

So I've had a quick look around the internet and found the following:

PAMPER 2)
The mini princess Pamper age 4 up
This glittery party is recommended for children of all ages. All products are non toxic & kiddie friendly where possible & always age appropriate. Shimmery make-up is applied to cheeks, eyelids & lip gloss to create fun glamour!

Price includes:

Themed invitations
Gentle file & paint for fingers OR toes
Glitter & sparkle non toxic polish & nail stickers/art (age 4+)
Glitter make-up Age appropriate make-up (shimmering cheeks, eye shadow & lip gloss)
Face jewels
Hair straighteners, crimpers & heated tongs.
Fruit punch fountain with pink plastic cocktail glasses & accessories
Glitter hair Highlights
Spray of perfume
Aftercare advice
CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFO

So I was wondering what you would all think if your little girl was invited to a party like this, or is it an absolutely stupid idea which I shouldn't even entertain doing, and convince DD that a perfect idea for her 7th birthday would be perhaps her first sleepover with her best friend?

Please be gentle Blush

OP posts:
yellowraincoat · 25/02/2012 11:23

So you obviously do worry about conforming to expectations then halcyondays - you don't shave your legs but you won't go to the pool with hairy legs. That is exactly worrying about expectations.

I agree totally that boys are teased out of doing "girly" things which is shit. But girls are also encouraged into liking those things.

Most men want to look nice, and it's a lot easier for them to do so. And there is a lot less pressure on them also.

halcyondays · 25/02/2012 11:35

Most men shave their faces, that's probably even more of a chore. I was pretty old when I first started getting rid of leg hair, it just hadn't occurred to me.
I don't know about other girls but my dds didn't need to be "encouraged" into liking girly things. From the sound of it, there are a lot of mums that areactively discouraging their dds from them. I didn't need any encouragement either, my mum was never really in to make up or pampering and certainly didn't encourage me in any way.

prisonerofazkaban · 25/02/2012 11:43

My daughter had a similar kind of thing for her 8th birthday. She loved it. The makeup used was just the right amount for her age. I can't see the problem if it's just a one off. For generations little girls have enjoyed playing with their mothers make up and dressing up. It's all part of being a child isn't it?
I would run it past the parents of the girls you are thinking of inviting before you make your decision. As an alternative you could take them to a paint your own pottery cafe if there's one near you.

catnipkitty · 25/02/2012 11:48

Awful,awful, awful. These parties, plus the 'fashions' that are in shops, shoes with heels, ear piercing, 'bikinis' etc etc etc contribute to the early sexualisation of children, the thought of which makes me feel sick. They are CHILDREN. We don't allow our children to smoke/drink alcohol just because we do, so just because we wear make up doesn't mean we have to let them do it when they are so young. Teenagehood is the natural time for puberty and becoming sexually aware.

catnipkitty · 25/02/2012 11:48

Awful,awful, awful. These parties, plus the 'fashions' that are in shops, shoes with heels, ear piercing, 'bikinis' etc etc etc contribute to the early sexualisation of children, the thought of which makes me feel sick. They are CHILDREN. We don't allow our children to smoke/drink alcohol just because we do, so just because we wear make up doesn't mean we have to let them do it when they are so young. Teenagehood is the natural time for puberty and becoming sexually aware.

yellowraincoat · 25/02/2012 11:52

What on earth is the "right" amount of make-up for an 8-year-old girl?

Women are expected to shave their legs and pits all of which takes the same amount of time as shaving your face. Beyond that, a man can have some stubble or a full beard without anyone pointing and staring. Even as a feminist, if I see a woman with unshaved legs, my first reaction is "woah!" It is something we are just not used to seeing.

curiousgeorgie · 25/02/2012 11:54

Good God people like a drama don't they!

It sounds fun, and perfect for a seven year old. Its just 'Pretend'. It's just 'Fun'. Like playing with dolls or playing with dressing up clothes. When my niece was six I took her out for the day to the beauty parlor and she adored it.

If my daughter was invited we'd be there with bells on.

In fact, this sounds like exactly the party I'll throw for my daughter when she is older!

TroublesomeEx · 25/02/2012 12:03

I think you'd be there on your own then georgie!

curiousgeorgie · 25/02/2012 12:12

There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. This is being blown out of all proportion. I'm here with a friend, my DH and my sister in law and they are all finding the reaction to this laughable.

Itas just for fun for crying out loud.

yellowraincoat · 25/02/2012 12:16

The purpose of make-up is to make women look more attractive.

Even if you think it's fine, can't you see why other people might be concerned with the idea that their daughters are being made to look more attractive, whether a play version of attractive or not, at the age of 7?

Where are the pamper parties for boys, where they get their hair gelled, faces shaved and er, all the other things men do to look attractive? If it's such harmless fun, why is it not also harmless fun for boys?

halcyondays · 25/02/2012 12:23

There wouldn't be much point in shaving a wee boy's face when he doesn't have any facial hair, would there? You do see boys with trendy hair styles, I'm not sure what else men do to make themselves look more attractive, apart from things like removing nasal hairs which doesn't really lend itself to pamper parties.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 25/02/2012 12:25

it's dressing up. the boys in dd1's class all love a bit of nail polish too. it's just colour and a bit of a laugh. children just don't perceive these things in the same way we do. done of dd1's mates wants to play with make-up (and that's what it is, playing), because they are succumbing to pressure to be more beautiful, they do it because they are little magpies who love a bit of glitter on anything, including themselves.

i think sometimes we need to be careful before we ascribe our own adult values to children's play. in fact i find all the moral panic akin to being outraged over a nit of "i'll show you mine if you show me yours" in a game of doctors and nurses.

CharlotteBronteSaurus · 25/02/2012 12:25

none of dd1's mates

curiousgeorgie · 25/02/2012 12:25

No, I can't. Do you consider playing dress up making themselves more attractive?

Can't you look at it as playing pretend? Like when a child plays at being a teacher and takes register, or a doctor, or plays with a doll.

This is as ridiculous as people thinking playing with dolls encourages teen pregnancy.

And WHY can't some things just be for girls?? The reason boys don't have shaving parties is because its not that enjoyable to pretend to shave! Girls typically enjoy the process of having hair and nails done.....But there are football parties / rugby parties! My cousins son had a boys only science party, would you complain about that?

halcyondays · 25/02/2012 12:34

As I've said my dds would enjoy a pamper party. They would also enjoy a football or science party although they've never been invited to one.

I still love a bit of glitter, I've never grown out of it.

Coconutty · 25/02/2012 12:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

festi · 25/02/2012 12:53

I wouldn't do it myself and certainly would not pay someone to host it, surely you could do that your self.

I would however let dd attend a party she was invited to if it was a pamper party despite my own opinion on it, I would view it as a one off and dd would have fun. She does have nail varnish and fake tatoos at home though.

R2PeePoo · 25/02/2012 12:53

I would say no.

It seems a very passive sort of party to me and at 6.5 I know DD would prefer something with a bit more activity. I don't like the idea that girls are expected to sit around and have stuff done to them, whilst boys can run and jump, shout and scream.

DD also has sensitive skin and a tendency to wriggle and I would be concerned that she would have a reaction to the products or come home burned on the ear or neck. She doesn't want to play with makeup, has never expressed an interest and would much rather be playing or running around.

The problem with saying girls like this and that, ignores the fact that girls and boys come in all shapes and sizes with all sorts of likes and dislikes. It isn't seeing children as individuals. DD's best friend is a little boy who would love this sort of party, he loves dressing up with his younger sister and is very fastidious about his appearance and clothes. But he would never get an invite. DD would adore a science party, she is determined to be a scientist when she is older, but she wouldn't get an invite because its a 'boy' thing.

mayanna123 · 25/02/2012 13:22

Really awful suggestion, sorry. I have a 9 year old dd and I'd feel uncomfortable sending her to such a party.

I think there is far too much focus on 'looks' as it is in society, why should little 7 year old girls even have an entire party dedicated to making themselves 'look' pretty? They should be outside, getting dirty whilst having fun and learning about friendship and important values, not dressed up like princesses imo!

DodieSmith · 25/02/2012 13:25

I would say yes. But I would think it was tacky.

BlackSwan · 25/02/2012 13:30

It's cute to do your little girls nails just for fun once or twice, but otherwise find the concept just plays to sexualising young girls and pegging their self confidence to their looks. Big fat no from me.

prisonerofazkaban · 25/02/2012 13:33

Why can dressing up as princesses not be fun. My daughter and her friends used to have a whale of a time dressing up and running around in their fairy/princess costumes when they were little. Can't see anything wrong in that. When she grew out of that she went through a going out getting muddy phase. She had as loads of fun and learnt about friendship doing both. I have never dictated how she should play so long as she is safe.

yellowraincoat · 25/02/2012 13:35

If, coconutty, she's "not to worry about some of the folks on here", why did she even bother asking?

She obviously has some concerns or she wouldn't have asked.

And yes halcyondays, it would be pointless shaving a little boy's face - equally as pointless as putting make-up on a little girl's face.

ToxicToria · 25/02/2012 13:37

I think it's a great idea Smile

DumSpiroSpero · 25/02/2012 13:40

My DD was 7 last year - we had 8 girls (including her) for her party at home. I did a treasure hunt (laminated pics of the Rainbow Magic Fairies birthday items blu tacked round the house and garden), pass the parcel (which they all still love) and pin the wand on the fairy, birthday tea and some up-to-date pop music - job done.

It was the first party I've done without enlisting the help of DD's godmother and her teenage daughter and it went fine (I'm also not a fan of/comfortable with crowds of random small children) - they spent a lot of time just running around doing their own thing and entertaining themselves (just make sure you buy yourself some earplugs! Grin)