to think that This Morning were utterly irresponsible to broadcast an interview with Natalie Cassidy on how and why she took back her abusive partner?

[wannaBe]

Natalie Cassidy on This Morning. abused to the extent she left and then took out a restraining order against him.

Then decided she loved him after all and took him back - he's admitted he's an alcoholic, has changed and they couldn't be happier.

The whole interview was all about justification, how it was because she was wound up about his drinking, how he drank and it made him do it, how he has now changed.

I vented my anger over it elsewhere and on twitter, but tbh I think that Natalie Cassidy, while very naive IMO, is free to make whatever decisions she sees fit.

However, I think This Morning were totally irresponsible to give it any kind of airtime.

There was no counter view. No-one to say that statistically it is highly unlikely that NC's partner has changed, that once an abuser, always an abuser...

Lots of vulnerable women will have been watching. Many may well believe that if NC's partner could change, perhaps theirs can too. And perhaps they will go back into dangerous situations because of it
.
This Morning does not only have a responsibility to the stars it broadcasts, it has a responsibility to its viewers, and that responsibility IMO extends to not glamorising domestic abuse and helping to perpetuate the myth that abusers can change.

who was she trying to convince watched the interview and was bit confused what all about !! Glad I was not the only one to think it ok if abused it not his fault it the drink !!! good luck to them and hope all turns out but another "celeb" using time to say their piece then probably want privacy if or when it all goes pear shaped

Maybe I worded that wrongly - most will judge in that situation. I wonder if ss will be involved. The police always do a child referral in cases of dv involving children.

I would hope so

From that interview it sounds like she was already back with him and giving him another chance when he ended up out cold in a bush somewhere! She didn't end it then so she is setting a pattern of accepting this sort of behaviour.

She is totally accepting of that sort of behaviour.
She minimises it at every opportunity.

"It was the drink"
"I was never beaten black and blue"
"I wound him up"

She is very naive, and desperate for there to be an excuse reason for his behaviour, other than the fact that he's just a nasty, selfish fucking prick.

In fact, I was irritated by her cock sure smuggery during that interview. It doesn't matter how much you flap your hands to emphasise a point Natalie - you're still spouting the same spiel that every victim of domestic abuse does.

It's not her fault....but This Morning definitely should've done better than they did.

I think she is attracted to Drama people like that often attract all kinds of Drama because they don't know any different.
I feel sorry that she just wants to get on with life and forget about it but it would have hurt the people close to her so they will not be so forgiving so she'll end up maybe with a divide in her family and friends and her own personal life, I hope she sees sense soon

I haven't seen the interview but having read some of the quotes I'm not sure I could bear to. I was in her position about 8 years ago - minimising his behaviour, linking it to something I had done to 'wind him up', kidding myself that I was 'strong' enough to take it, almost looking forward to the challenge of 'helping' him to get back on the straight and narrow. Her words are chilling.

It sounds like she's in the middle of the 'lovely jubbly honeymoon' phase where everything feels wonderful and nothing bad will ever happen again. I agree with another poster that this will make it even harder for her to leave him or ask for help should she need to in the future. I feel heartbroken for her.

Josie, I have been really upset today. I haven't thought about an ex I lived with 16 years ago for a long time. I would have always said he was an asshole but today I sat down and thought about the cycle you talk about, how, after spitting on me, kicking me and telling me I was fat (7 st) would ring me at my mums and say he was hungry and lonely. Those little back togethers were so cosy and warm, everyone despaired of me at the time. Luckily he went to prison for violence to a pupil (he was a teacher) and the cycle was broken. I hate him

And it does not matter one jot if her delightful fiance becomes the goodest good boy in all the world forever, from this moment on....that situation simply will not apply to the thousands of belittled and abused women clinging to Natalie's wildly optimistic success story.

The problem, is that those women will take ANY encouragement going, to stay with their tormentor.

I was there once. I will openly admit that I too may have been persuaded by that interview. When you're in that sitation you will cling to any raft in a storm....even if it's some third rate soap star whose programme you don't watch, and who you couldn't care less about.

'Those little back togethers were so cosy and warm'

Yes indeed theodorakis, these little crumbs of happiness keep you going more than you ever imagined they could. My ex used to phone me up sobbing after I ditched him as well and I would just melt. It was like I was being given the power to make someone so happy, I just couldn't refuse. I'm a pathetic people-pleaser anyway due to narcissistic parents but that's another story! I'm glad I'm seeing my therapist this evening.....

Usually I would be rushing to youtube to have a look at a controversial interview about something I was interested in, but I honestly feel that watching this could trigger an anxiety attack for me. I feel sick just reading the words she used. It's all so clear from the outside!

'I will openly admit that I too may have been persuaded by that interview'

Me too pictish - I know 100% without a doubt that watching this interview would have swayed me from leaving him if I had been in the same position. People who haven't been through it don't realise how much the constant abuse makes you doubt your own sanity, let alone your capacity to make a good decision.

josie,pictish and theo - your last few posts, put across exactly why this interview was such an irresponsible piece of tv, I'm sorry you had to go through it.

Thanks hazeyjane

She's mad. I hadn't been aware of her abusive relationship but just watched the interview someone posted and googled it and he has been awful to her. I read that he "got angry and drove like a maniac with the baby in the back of the car. "banned her from seeing her family, subjected her to mental abuse and called her vile names during his drunken rages. " " "He used to give me threatening looks when we were out in public. I'd just panic." as well as violent behaviour and humiliating her. The female interviewer was a bit useless. She didn't question her at all. I'm glad they read the statement from Refuge. Does NC really really think he will change? He won't. This is going to run and run sadly. :(

Thank you for the kind comments. I am sitting here with tears rolling down my cheeks, it has been buried for years. Sometimes MN is a bloody brilliant place to be.

I think This Morning should have researched their motivation, over airing this segment.
The article (such as it really is - it's a 'magazine show') was based in celebrity gossip, and wasn't supposed to be about generating awareness of domestic abuse.

That was their mistake. Bad subject matter. Ill researched.

It is a very frustrating place to be, when you have been through it, and then experienced total clarity.
Stuff likes this makes you want to climb through the screen.

I know we don't do hugs here, but....

((((hugs))))

I agree with pictish mixing reality tv 'stars'(?) with serious issues is irresponsible and insulting

Just seen an ad on TV for the new issue of "NEW" magazine - she's got an interview in there as well...

Anyone seen it and know if there's a counter argumented printed with it?

She will be all over the place with this story.

Personally I hope it does work out for all of them, that he has managed to get control of his drinking and his temper and never hits her or anyone else ever again.

But I think it's too soon for her/them to be doing interviews about it and, as I said before, now that she/they have done them I worry that she will feel even more unable to seek help if things don't work out and he attacks her again.

The "black and blue" justification does not work and in all honesty I don't think he would have to even lay a finger on her in future to continue with the abuse. Physical violence goes hand in hand with emotional abuse and if she really is taken on even a tiny amount of the blame for the way he attacked her then the emotionally abusive groundwork has already been done. He can have her walking on eggshells forever because she has accepted her portion of the blame and now has a role to play to ensure she never makes him do it again. Living under that emotional cloud will be horrible even if he never harms her physically again, even if she can pretend to herself that she is happy.

It's all very sad. I feel very sorry for her and even more so for her little girl.

I contributed a fair bit to this and to the other related thread yesterday. I'm still of the opinion that the producers of This Morning made a really bad decision to run this interveiw, in the way that they did.

And they certainly didn't do NC any favours, as posters above ^^ poignantly explain, despite - indeed, possibly because of - the exposure and cash which she is obtaining.

The Wright Stuff will be discussing taking back a violent partner tomorrow morning with Leslie Ash on the guest panel.

"This Morning etc cover most angles, usually with a bias towards it being a crime"

Does this mean you could have an angle where DV is not a crime?

And if so, how often does This Morning feature uncontested interviews which make excuses for the activities of other criminals, such as drug dealers or men who assault old ladies in the street? Or where a victim is uncontested in their claim that the crime was really their fault and not the perpetrator's because they were out on the street/kept a laptop at home etc etc.

I may be extraordinarily thick but I fail to see how a promise to reform and tackle your triggers should let a perpetrator of this one crime off the hook when it doesn't work for anybody else.