to think that This Morning were utterly irresponsible to broadcast an interview with Natalie Cassidy on how and why she took back her abusive partner?

[wannaBe]

Natalie Cassidy on This Morning. abused to the extent she left and then took out a restraining order against him.

Then decided she loved him after all and took him back - he's admitted he's an alcoholic, has changed and they couldn't be happier.

The whole interview was all about justification, how it was because she was wound up about his drinking, how he drank and it made him do it, how he has now changed.

I vented my anger over it elsewhere and on twitter, but tbh I think that Natalie Cassidy, while very naive IMO, is free to make whatever decisions she sees fit.

However, I think This Morning were totally irresponsible to give it any kind of airtime.

There was no counter view. No-one to say that statistically it is highly unlikely that NC's partner has changed, that once an abuser, always an abuser...

Lots of vulnerable women will have been watching. Many may well believe that if NC's partner could change, perhaps theirs can too. And perhaps they will go back into dangerous situations because of it
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This Morning does not only have a responsibility to the stars it broadcasts, it has a responsibility to its viewers, and that responsibility IMO extends to not glamorising domestic abuse and helping to perpetuate the myth that abusers can change.

peppy the irony of you saying "way to miss the point" is hilarious.

Unlike your constant references, nobody is actually saying that NC has no right to talk about her experience.

Nobody is saying that she can't have her own view point on DV and whether or not her partner has changed.

The issue is that her interview came with opposing view, no caveats and no warnings for victims of domestic abuse that may have been watching - caveats that state that (a) all the ways she was justifying her decision are text book script for a DV victim in denial, and (b) it is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that perpetrators of DV change in the way she is saying her partner has.

That is massively damaging for women out there who are in a violent relationship, bearing in mind how vulnerable they will already be - it's a green light for them to stay in the relationship because "he can change".

Yes Natalie is obviously stuck in the depths of this shit and acting accordingly. I haven't seen the interview - but must have been disturbing to watch.

Because you think that women need some stats and balance because they are too stupid to work things out for themselves.
You've decided that the woman being interviewed is stupid and naive because obviously shes wrong about her relationship (you may well be right but the arrogance of deciding remotely is quite astounding), you've decided the viewers are stupid and naive, you've decided that anyione who disagrees with you is on the Wrong Side and is stupid...and yet you're the champion of women. Bit paternalistic for my liking....

Peppy.
Some people ARE stupid and naive though.
That's why things like this shouldn't be broadcast.

Peepy - I don't think people are stupid. There are way too many people out there that this is happening to for them all to be stupid. I think it's a perfectly human need to hope for the best, blame oneself and be swayed by people we love.

I think there are lots of vulnerable, disempowered people, naive maybe. Not necessarily stupid.

Also, I don't think NC is stupid. I think she came over rather well, in some ways. I feel she is vulnerable though, because of aforesaid crappy sleb culture

I agree, Uphill, that the dynamic of prime time shows does matter.

Not stupid, but quite likely in denial.

peppy you really don't get it, do you?

Women aren't "too stupid", and viewers aren't "too stupid".

However, victims of domestic violence will grab ANY excuse offered for their partners' behaviour, and cling onto ANY words and sentiments that normalise their situation. It is the unfortunate by product of spending years suffering under the type of controlling behaviour and emotional abuse that comes before physical violence.

Not once has anyone (except you) called anyone else stupid.

Vulnerable - yes. Likely to latch onto any justification of their situation - yes. Stupid - no. And for you to continue to haul out that insult just goes to show you deeply you are misinterpreting the intentions of those on this thread.

No one has said that BC or other sufferers of DV or women are stupid

But those stuck in the fog of DV are looking for ways to justify staying with theory abusers. This one sided interview of someone who has also been manipulated and deluded, is handing it to them on a plate

Being terrified, confused and exhausted is not the same as being stupid

OriginalJamie put it better than me

I am happy to admit I have been stupid and naive at times.

And noway said it better than me!

I wasn't able to watch the interview, there's something wrong with the soundtrack.

But what concerns me is that she says she found it hard to leave and get help last time, because she was embarrassed.

How much harder will she find it in the future, if he attacks her again, now she has done all these interviews saying it's different for her this time? How much worse will it have to get before she leaves then (if she can)?

Noway.
Actually I have said some people are stupid and naive because I think lots of people are capable of making bad choices.
I think they need to be protected from interviews like this.
Having said that I totally agree with the sentiment of your posts.

peppy at 18.45

I agree. Any sensible point is overshadowed by the "matriarchy" hoisting the judgey pants full mast.

I knew it wouldn't be long before it was decided that NC is wrong ( rather than the journalism).

I've even read further down the thread that her need to be with her partner may come from weight issues and low self esteem

She may be right, she may be wrong. Only time will tell.

The recent theme of this thread does suggest that women are dim sheep, easily led, incapable of making decisions based on their own assessment of their own situation....

Women.are.not.stupid

Peppy I can see ou are articulate and unafraid to go against the grain if you believe in your own viewpoint. Well done. The world needs more of you.

However, on this one you appear to be talking out of a hole in your head.

You have never been in a DV situation yourself, that much is apparent. That is relevent, because if you had, you would have an inkling of just how damaging NC's interview today was.

You are barking up the wrong tree here. You are wrong.

But you think I'm stupid, though.

How inconsistent.

Peppy your complete lack of knowledge, empathy and understanding of the dynamics of an abusive relationship is glaringly obvious. I was stupid. Then I relaised that I had been stupid. Then I (finally) took action.
You continue to miss the point of this thread - not sure if it's deliberate or not. In this country tonight, there are THOUSANDS of women, men and children who are, consciously or not, creeping around their homes, trying to watch what they do or say, making sure that they keep the peace and appease the aggressor. He or she may at this point be drinking alcohol. The victim may then make the 'mistake' of going to bed too early and 'bang' - the aggressor is angry and annoyed at being disrespected and vents his anger by throwing his fists. and yes this IS my experience - the one that I have lived and breathed. and yes NC IS in denial and God I hope I'm wrong but she remains a victim and will probably end up hurt again.
And hundreds or thousands of women or men who have been told by their aggressor that it was 'their fault' and that 'they deserved it' have just been told by some psuedo celeb that yeah - my fault, I deserved it. So I'll stay. For another assault.
Peppy do you KNOW the average number of times a victim of DV is assaulted before ther begin to condsider leaving permanently ? Do you know at what points of a DV relationship a victim is most likely to be murdered by the partner?
Because when you KNOW all of that, and everything else there is to know about DV, perhaps your attitude would shift away from it's worrying bias towards the justification of 'victim blaming'

Sapphire, you ask not sure if it's deliberate or not. Go on your gut instinct and ignore, ignore.

Bloody good post, mind.

Indeed linerunner, I wonder how peppy and glitter kitten would deal with DV victims labelling themselves stupid that's been found in various studies in their world view

sadly i think my mum was stupid when she stayed with my dad, or got back with him time and time again, she was stupid and manipulated, and tired and beaten and full of self loathing. she is not a stupid woman, but she was definitely acting stupidly staying with him.

i know you think this morning is shit, but an awful lot of people watch it, and as i and others have said, in the midst of an abusive relationship, any justification to stay makes you feel better about that decision.

It is really, really tough to go it alone.

This government will make it even harder.

I am in no way playing into "victim blaming". If anything the more insulting posts about NC are little but victim blaming thinly veiled.