to think that This Morning were utterly irresponsible to broadcast an interview with Natalie Cassidy on how and why she took back her abusive partner?

[wannaBe]

Natalie Cassidy on This Morning. abused to the extent she left and then took out a restraining order against him.

Then decided she loved him after all and took him back - he's admitted he's an alcoholic, has changed and they couldn't be happier.

The whole interview was all about justification, how it was because she was wound up about his drinking, how he drank and it made him do it, how he has now changed.

I vented my anger over it elsewhere and on twitter, but tbh I think that Natalie Cassidy, while very naive IMO, is free to make whatever decisions she sees fit.

However, I think This Morning were totally irresponsible to give it any kind of airtime.

There was no counter view. No-one to say that statistically it is highly unlikely that NC's partner has changed, that once an abuser, always an abuser...

Lots of vulnerable women will have been watching. Many may well believe that if NC's partner could change, perhaps theirs can too. And perhaps they will go back into dangerous situations because of it
.
This Morning does not only have a responsibility to the stars it broadcasts, it has a responsibility to its viewers, and that responsibility IMO extends to not glamorising domestic abuse and helping to perpetuate the myth that abusers can change.

Who said I was offended? Did I? No didn't think so.

The issue isn't that NC has decided to take back her partner, she's a grown woman she can do what the hell she wants. The issue isn't even that she has decided to talk about it publically. The issue is that, having decided to talk about her experience publically, she has led women to believe that violent men can change, even though she herself doesn't know this is actually the case. Her quote that "oh those statistics don't apply to my situation" trivialises the whole subject of domestic violence and there was no-one there to state that point.

Two women a week are killed by their partner. How many of those 104 women every year do you think that they're different? that their partner isn't like all the rest, how many do you think believe him when he says he'll change.

people are violent for all manner of reasons. There are all sorts of triggers for violence, but none of them are justifications.

I had an abusive boyfriend when I was seventeen. He started out being controlling, possessive, jealous, stopping me from seeing my friends etc. And then one day he crossed the line and hit me - just the once - and that was the end of the relationship for me.

I knew why he was the way he was, his parents had dropped him off at school when he was seven and never came back. he was deeply, deeply insecure because he had been so badly hurt by those who were supposed to care for him the most. He had never had a gf before me, and the more his feelings for me developed the more scared he was that he would lose me and the harder he tried to make me stay, iyswim.

So yes, absolutely I can see it's not black and white and that wthereare sometimes factors that bring about violence, and sometimes those factors might involve external substances such as alcohol.

But that does not justify it or mean that because you recognize the factors you can make it change.

I absolutely know, and understand even, possibly even sympathize with the fact my bf was so utterly damaged he felt he needed to resort to violence. But that doesn't justify the end result in any way shape or form.

This Morning will undoubtedly say itself that it strives for 'balance'. Watch this space, kimbro. Did you watch the interview, btw?

X post tremola !

noddy - I agree. I also imagine that for someone like her, who has sought and then suffered from so much media attention around her self-esteem, weight issues, and relationship problems, she'd be more inclined than most to "make everything better".

No I haven't watched it

oh and peppy, might I suggest that if you don't like the way people have responded here, you're not under any obligation to keep reading? there's a little button at the bottom of the thread somewhere entitled "hide thread," it's use is of course entirely voluntary, as is reading the thread....

Why do people here think you can possibly read "anger" from text? Bizarre.

You can complain all you want. I can tell you how moronic it comes across as. Where's your problem?

You really can't see the problem with your stance, the righteous frothers on this thread? It's a banal day time programme, they talk to pseudo celebrities about their lives, because for some bizarre reason people are interested. You don't get to decide whose experience is ok and whose isn't.

It's ridiculous.

and the irony of pointing me to the hide thread button, those of you that couldn't find the off switch on your television.

'I can tell you ....'

I'm sure you can, Peppy, I'm sure you can.

No irony, then Peppy, in you bossing people about what they should think, feel, say and do?

"You can complain all you want. I can tell you how moronic it comes across as." You're missing out a crucial line there Peppy. it should read "in my opinion."

I haven't done any such thing. I arguing against censorship, do read it again if you're a little confused.
And let us know if your complaint is upheld which it won't be

Peppy, take a chill pill.

It's a thread.

You probably should have taken your own advice when you were so incensed you had to do a disgusted of tunbridge wells email to This Morning of all things. Way to find something important to get riled about.

I think DV is important.

Bye, Peppy.

Yeuck!

We live in a country with an almost totally free media and they broadcast pretty much what they like (although I know there are some restrictions), if you do not like what is being shown then don't watch it.

I'm going to have to hide this thread now.

Its far too upsetting to see people trivialising this topic.

I nearly lost my life because of DV and I didn't get out when I should have done. She is vunerable and indenial about what she experienced.

The entire point of this is that she is entitled to speak about her experience but when you hear her say the very things that abused women say, the excuses, it is clear the interview was harmful.

Not just to the public but to her. She will now think that she is right in thinking she 'wound him up' being allowed to give such an interview will justify her decision to stay.

So do I (lazy jibe btw). Thats not actually the point though.

This is not about anyone being personally offended. It is about a sleb denier being given a populist platform without sufficient balance.

Peppy - every week women are dying in their own homes at the hands of the person who should be cherishing them. Every week women are beaten up by the person who should be cherishing them. Every week children watch one parent attack another. Women don't leave these relationships when they see the warning signs because they hope things will change. Things don't change, violence and grief is the result.
I think Natalie has made a poor decision but she is somewhat protected by the fact that the world knows her bloke is a drunken abusive bastard and if he puts a fist wrong she has a chance of getting help. Plenty of women watching This Morning today won't have that.
That's why this matters.

Peppy

there are many reasons people feel the need to show displeasure or register a complaint, but it's a basic right to be able to do so

your 'shut up it happens' stance on this thread makes me wonder if a nerve has struck somewhere?

maybe you haven't experienced DV 1st hand, maybe you have, but it's definitely NOT a 'STFU' subject.

EVER

She said "I wound him up"???!

I hope the presenters vigorously argued against that, though it doesn't sound like it from this thread.

Its about you thinking that women won't see through her shite for themselves, instead needing to be protected from all attitudes. If nothing else, different points stimulate debate. She'll probably make the paper with lots of people coming out to comment about how stupid she is, highlighting a serious issue.

Or you know, we could just check with AIBU before anyone talks on TV, to make sure they only say the right things.

Peppy I think something that kills two women a week in the UK alone is important.