to think that This Morning were utterly irresponsible to broadcast an interview with Natalie Cassidy on how and why she took back her abusive partner?

[wannaBe]

Natalie Cassidy on This Morning. abused to the extent she left and then took out a restraining order against him.

Then decided she loved him after all and took him back - he's admitted he's an alcoholic, has changed and they couldn't be happier.

The whole interview was all about justification, how it was because she was wound up about his drinking, how he drank and it made him do it, how he has now changed.

I vented my anger over it elsewhere and on twitter, but tbh I think that Natalie Cassidy, while very naive IMO, is free to make whatever decisions she sees fit.

However, I think This Morning were totally irresponsible to give it any kind of airtime.

There was no counter view. No-one to say that statistically it is highly unlikely that NC's partner has changed, that once an abuser, always an abuser...

Lots of vulnerable women will have been watching. Many may well believe that if NC's partner could change, perhaps theirs can too. And perhaps they will go back into dangerous situations because of it
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This Morning does not only have a responsibility to the stars it broadcasts, it has a responsibility to its viewers, and that responsibility IMO extends to not glamorising domestic abuse and helping to perpetuate the myth that abusers can change.

"maybe you haven't experienced DV 1st hand, maybe you have, but it's definitely NOT a 'STFU' subject. "

THATS EXACTLY MY POINT! Why should she STFU then? Way to miss a point entirely.

The female presenter today was a stand-in, Emma Willis, who was quite nervous. I also read on another thread that her own partner has some alcohol issues? I don't know of her at all; I did feel she was very poor during this segment.

The point is there was no debate on the show (e.g. from a Refuge rep)... relying on this a) causing enough of a storm to make the papers and b) everyone who watched TM subsequently reading about it isn't good enough IMO.

And because it was never counter argued it gives rise for the Daily Mail headline here making it even more acceptable for men to do anything but beat someone black and blue, funny because my MIL said the same thing "it's not like he punched you in the face or anything"

because, Peppy

she was excusing it, explaining his reasons for hitting her

she was accepting blame

NC wasn't talking about her DV situation, she was talking about how it was over - in such a short time-span too

YABU its This Morning, a trashy daytime tv show interviewing a celebrity who only has anecdotal evidence on the subject, what did you honestly expect

Peppy - she's wrong, it's as simple and terrible as that. Only time will tell if he stops drinking permanently/ Alcohol abuse has an awful grip on people and yes it will change his behaviour. It is HARD to quit abusing alcohol. Chances are he will fall off the waggon several times on his way to sobriety. He may NEVER manage it. Two months in NC has put herself and her child in the firing line and she's publicly said 'it's my fault'. Well no it isn't. Abuse is the responsibility of the abuser but they love blaming the victim. How many women who have been abused, reading this right now, have been told it's their fault? I'm going to guess 100% because that's how domestic abuse works. It's a blame game and NC has made herself incredibly vulnerable but she's also made other women vulnerable too. This Morning won't be there in their houses when yet another reconciliation falls apart. This Morning won't be in A&E or the mortuary.

Domestic abuse kills and anything which diminishes the seriousness with which this is taken should not be tolerated.

and women do accept blame. We know its wrong, but thats her authenticate experience. I think its anti-feminist to silence women because you don't like their experience.

They did provide a counter argument, saying that someone had written in with the stats about how abusers do tend to continue the abuse, I'm happy for them/ him if he can keep up his abstinence but Natalie was naive to say that if he turns violent she will leave not understanding that violence takes different forms (manipulation etc)

No-one said silence her Peppy. Everyone is saying the issue should be addressed with a balanced view. And Denise could have kindly pointed out that she is wrong to accept blame at the very bare minimum.

And those women need to be challenged on accepting blame because it could kill them Peppy! I work with DV survivors every day, they look back at what they normalised and are shocked at what they put up with.

I wouldn't want to silence her. I think it's a sad state of affairs that she is so much of the crap tabloid sleb culture that she feels the need to self-justify and "draw a line under it" on National Television.

Millions of other women are being silenced. In their own homes and in society, which is why interviews like this, if they are to take place need a counterpoint

God trivialising this is crap. My father treated my mum like this she listened to all the excuses and pleas from his family to stay and work at it.Blamed it on him losing his job and accused HER of not being patient. Thank god she was smarter than that. He went on to have children with and mistreat 2 more women. Thank god she put us first and showed us what was right

She's still living this situation! In 5 years time she'll have a perspective on it that will be worth hearing but in less than a year, no she has no idea what will happen and the broad trend suggests that she and her child will be fleeing this man again. Her 'authentic experience' isn't known yet and this interview just wasn't sufficiently challenged.

Yes whydont, especially because a lot of DV is about control. You only really need to hit someone once if they then start "behaving" :(

Yes, they have said on this thread that she shouldn't have been allowed to say those things. They asked for balance and apparently there was some.

and as for 'disliking her experience' WTAF?

i wanted NC to dislike her experience so much she kicked her exP to the kerb

I think it's very telling that she took him back not when he had changed, but when he had relapsed badly and she believes she is the only person who can help him do that.

I felt, watching the interview, that if he'd abstained for a good long time, having sought the right treatment, then fair enough for her to take him back. What seemed apparent from the interview, was that she was taking the responsibilty for his recovery.

You know what, if you're determined to paint me as having a on opinion quite contrary to the one I actual hold, go ahead. Its lazy and its pointless, but knock yourselves out.
I know plenty about DV and have never said anything that trivialises it.

Yes there was a real sense of her taking him on as a project

I agree with that Northernlurker. She has no perspective. What she has right now is a completely understandable desire for everything to be OK. More importantly because of the crappy sleb culture she's mired in, she's got the desire for it to be seen to be OK

I'm not sure she should, tbh. Giving her a platform of millions of viewers is different from allowing her to speak. Cognitive biases mean people who already victim blame are likely to hear that side and block out different views, especially if it's an in-person interview versus a statement that's read out in monotone.

I agree uphill. The problem when someone has done it once ( I understand he has done it a few times) is that they have shown their potential.

And the word potential strangely comes from the latin word for power.

He has shown he is all powerful and she is simply acting accordingly. And because this is such a dangerous subject.........it should have been presented in such a way. I feel for NC with all my heart. And all the other women still stuck in the depths of this shit.