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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to want DH to give our old computer to his sister?

95 replies

sississy · 16/02/2012 21:21

Maybe I am being petty but...
Since our DD was born 5 years ago we ahve been haing a very hard time (moneywise) and after sacrifices, hard working and me opening my own business we started now to few things we could never afford. This year Dh is treating himself to an Ipad and I will buy a Mac laptop.
So..Dh was telling this to MIL and she asked what we would do with our old laptop and he said I wanted to keep as spare laptop or guests laptop...
So she came up with the brilliant idea to give it to SIL as she has a crap one and he agreed.
When I came back home and he told me that I said yeah no problem, but than thinking about it I changed my mind and I said well, no I would rather keep or sell it and your sister can buy one herself ....and here are the reasons:

  • she is divorced and lives alone in a small village in scotland. she pays rent now but when she manages to sell her big family home and split the money with her ex, she will have money to buy her computer...we pay rent in London and it is not cheap...we never had a mortgage and I can't see us having it anytime soon. *she is single and works full time, we have a child and I am just back working full time for a year since I opened my own business, so we are not exactly swimming in money just getting a bit more comfortable. *If her current computer is crap so is this one MIL want us to give her and that is the reason why we are getting new computers for ourselves.

Maybe I am being selfish but I would rather sell and put the money in the kitty for my DD's B'day than just give it away...or maybe keep for an emergency as I wanted in the first place.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 16/02/2012 21:23

If your computer is that crap you won't get anything for it selling it anyway.

If your not going to use it then I would give it away.

Kayano · 16/02/2012 21:25

I love how London rents are even on a thread like this lol.

You agreed though and now you want to take it back? Whose laptop was it? Yours or DH?

You had no plans for it anyway until it was suggested to give to SIL so not really seeing a big issue...

Kayano · 16/02/2012 21:25

Does seem a little petty btw

McHappyPants2012 · 16/02/2012 21:26

i rather see something getting used, then just gathering dust and taking up space.

IUseTooMuchKitchenRoll · 16/02/2012 21:51

Second hand computers don't go for much, you may as well give it away.

But your dh was out of order for agreeing to it before seeing if you had any ideas so what you wated to do with it. You have a right to be cross with him for that.

Original poster
sississy · 16/02/2012 21:54

I haven't bought my new computer yet so I am using it right now, and it is ours so I have a say about the laptop too.
It is not that crap, it is usable, just need a new battery not to be plugged in the whole time, the keyboard and screen is in very good condition, it is slow sometimes but I am not sure if it is something to do with the computer itself or broadband conection, I just can't believe that this computer is worse than the one SIL got, if it is any better, than I am gonna sell it...
Or even change the battery, do a clear up and keep it for myself instead of buying a new one.
Yeah maybe I am being petty but I don't care, I like SIL, but I don't want to give the computer to her, she is single, childless, works full time and part owns a house, I am pretty sure she can buy one herself if she wants to.
Anyway, as Dh pointed out, it is not even SIL's idea, I think it is just MIL probably trying to wind me up.
And (honest question) why London rent is not relevant to a thread like this??

OP posts:
NeldaAufwader · 16/02/2012 21:58

And there is the proof, MIL's cannot do anything right. I assume there is a backstory.
I doubt you'd get much for your old computer anyway.

Kayano · 16/02/2012 22:02

Why bother posting then?

Your first reason: she is in Scotland, I am in London and its expensive... Errrr we know? You knew that when you said ok?

Next reason: she is single and works full time, I am a mother who works full time. Oh so sorry obviously your full time job is so much more vital to society than yours. Don't see how her not having children has fuck all to do with anything to be honest

You mentioned she will have money after she sells. 1) she has to sell first 2)you mentioned she is getting divorced. Maybe she is having a really rough time and mil and DH just thought it would be a nice thing to offer.

Can't see anyone wanting to buy a slow laptop with a dodgy battery btw...

You have your own business and said things are getting easier for you. You would just like a little bit extra for birthday kitty (see point above) or just keep it. When has anyone got a new laptop and continued to use the old one? Rarely try gather dust.

I go get a petty 'well I have children and live in LONDON' vibe off you

Sorry OP

Original poster
sississy · 16/02/2012 22:04

Maybe I can donate it to someone who really needs it, like a student or a family on a lower income, anyone knows a trustworthy charity?

OP posts:
aldiwhore · 16/02/2012 22:04

You're overthinking it far too much. You don't need it, your DH is happy to give it to his sister. Get rid. Trust me, I have lived with 'spare pcs' for years and they never really get used, we just fix the ones we have as we won't downgrade.

Okay... YANBU if you wanted it for your DC.

Other than that its not worth falling out over, so if you did you WBVU.

Let it go. It may be a small thing, but to hold onto it now the ideas out there will make you look very petty, it may actually make your sis appreciative and bring you closer?

Your DH needs to tell your SIL/MIL that you're using it now, and cross the other bridge when you've got your shiney new one or have decided to keep the one you've got. When you get to that bridge, let it go.

TotemPole · 16/02/2012 22:05

How old is the laptop?

squeakytoy · 16/02/2012 22:06

If your daughter is five years old, why not let her play about on it.. kids her age are using computers now, and it saves her your new one from getting damaged accidentally.

Kayano · 16/02/2012 22:08

So it's
Literally 'I will do anything except let mil/ SIL have it'

Lol very petty

Original poster
sississy · 16/02/2012 22:14

hi Kayano
Why bother replying than??
She is childless, she does not have to spend money on a child only on herself. that is what that fuck being childless has to do with my post.
She is getting divorce for the last 2 years so an old battered computer with a dodge battery is not going to cheer her up.
And to be honest it pisses me off that last time I went to visit her when she was still married in her big 2 floors family home, I had to stay in the nearest shit B&B while always when she comes to LONDON she stays in my small ex council rented flat.
And before you say something it was MIL who booked the B&B for me as she was organizing the trip (but we paid for the accomodation) so like always, MIL wonderful ideas are wonderful only in her head.

OP posts:
Original poster
sississy · 16/02/2012 22:19

yeah!!! i would do anything but not let MIL and SIL have it. And we have a good relationship, believe or not.
Thanks Aldi, I will have DD have it, so she won't need to play with mine and Dh's Ipad. And we didn't fight about it.

OP posts:
comedycentral · 16/02/2012 22:20

Would you give it to your own family? I bet you would!

bibbitybobbityhat · 16/02/2012 22:21

You do come across as petty and a little bit mean, tbh.

Kayano · 16/02/2012 22:22

I reply because you asked a question in AIBU and I think you are. If
You already know the answer you want and want to shut
Down anyone who may disagree I suggest not posting here...

All these shit reasons rather than saying 'I don't like her an want to keep it' would be better no?

Rather than a raging 'I don't like the childless Scottish divorcee!!! I'm from LONDON!' its just so so random and Laughable IMO

Why do you hate her so much? She sounds like she may be having a tough time and you are raging because she is childless and you are not... Hmm

You said you would give it away rather than do something nice for a member
Of your DH (and by extension your) family...

Merran · 16/02/2012 22:22

I would keep it for your DD to play on, its good for them to have a lap top to use.

aldiwhore · 16/02/2012 22:23

I do think your'e basing this on the fact you don't much like them and your backstory that we don't know about! So you probably aren't being unreasonable, but it does read like it.

Crikey don't give ti charity now the idea is out there regarding your SIL, giving it to your DD gets you around the truth and gives the laptop a function that they can't deny is valid.

Grin

I really want to say YABVU and petty, but I have a family full of so many backstories that I flat refused to buy a pint of milk once on a family holiday... on its own VU, as part of the larger narrative, I was totally right.

Original poster
sississy · 16/02/2012 22:23

I would give it to my family if they needed, and I don't think SIL need it anyway.
The laptop was bought in 2009

OP posts:
Kayano · 16/02/2012 22:23

And you DO come across as VERY petty and 'self self self'

galletti · 16/02/2012 22:23

I do think yabu to be honest. Really does sound like there is more to this than an old computer!

squeakytoy · 16/02/2012 22:26

2009 is hardly a dinosaur of a machine... my laptops were both bought around 2006 and are still running fine..

cheesesarnie · 16/02/2012 22:26

'I like SIL, but I don't want to give the computer to her, she is single, childless, works full time and part owns a house'

arf Grin

what is going on with mn today?
have you heard yourself op?you sound jealous.
if you dont want to give her the computer,dont.but stop being such an arse about it.