To want to take a shit on my boss's desk before my maternity leave starts?

[takingiteasy]

He's a fucking useless twat. I'm meant to be there as admin support for him although he keeps all the paperwork I need to admin in his fucking man bag.

I'm the first person he's line managed and I'm not difficult (honest) but he's so infuriatingly crap it's so annoying.

He's never managed anyone, so me being pregnant is a whole new thing. You would think he would take his time to actually read the relevent policy. I was off for 2 days. He told me 'to be careful becuase he's sure they can take that off my maternity leave'. ORLY? TWAT. I corrected him, if I was signed off in the 4 weeks before my leave they might start my leave early but that's not going to happen as I have 6 weeks annual leave to take before my leave starts. That's just one example of him making things up as he goes along.

It's just me and him in this tiny office. The way he types fucking annoys me. He ate an apple today - BLEUGH! He sounded like a fucking pig.

So it's a toss up between stabbing him and taking a shit on his desk...

4 days to go... breath....

(PS just in case anyone gets hysterical, I won't actually stab him, or take a shit on his desk, just get great pleasure from imagining it.)

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

The mug story makes me think of Pauline in The League of Gentlemen. 'Where's me pen?!'

[shudder]

[NoOnesGoingToEatYourEyes]

Where was her pen?

[LadyClariceCannockMonty]

I think it used to turn up every episode, but I'm not sure where from. It seemed to be something she used as a power play; it was a way to demonstrate her temper/meanness. I always got the impression she thought it was quite a funny little charade as well, but it wasn't; she was deluded.

[takingiteasy]

UPDATE! (Cos I know you're all waiting for one!!)

I finised up and DID NOT take a shit on is desk!

He was mighty pissed off when I said I was going up to the main office for lunch on my last day and finishing from there so I could see everyone and collect my presents. We can access the same stuff from there so it's no big deal. He wanted me to spend my last 3 hours at work sitting on my own in that little office awaiting an engineer to come and do something with the router.

I was proactive and told the admin lady from the other service that the engineer might come and if he does could she please open the cupboard for him. Simple!

Anyway, had a lovely lunch and send off with the lovely people I work with, he floated about for 20 minutes and left (thank fuck!). His last words were a fumbling, 'hope it goes ok and you get a baby at the end of it' [hmmm] well that's the plan WANK.

Feels weird finishing up.

Was speaking to a workmate at the start of the week and apparantly he's moaning he's lonely! Lonely!? He never spoke to me in the first place, the 2 of us would sit in that little office in silence, with me (and probably him as well) seething in annoyance!

Anyway, a year until I have to deal with him again and hopefully by then he's fucked of somewhere new and there will be a lovely capable person in his place!

[JarethTheGoblinKing]

Before we left school we gaffer-taped a shallow dish of milk to the underside of our Head of Year's desk. When we went to collect our exam results at the end of a very warm August the sour cheese smell was very apparent