To ask our nanny to not take the children to Greggs for lunch once a week?

[headfairy]

Dh thinks I'm being precious, the first time it happened I thought "oh we'll, it's just once, it's a treat" (apparently they LOVED it - nanny's capitals, not mine) but she went again today, the third week in a row. The other meal they had today was beans on toast so not exactly bad but hardly the peak of nutrition heights.

Dcs are 2 and 4 btw.

I think all the snidey comments re: ability to afford a nanny and middle class children etc are just not necessary.

the OP has already said she has nothing against Greggs per se, just not every week as a regular thing.

and since there is a choice of easy to use fresh cooked food at home, I don't see why it is so unreasonable of her to object.

FWIW, I was raised on a sink council estate (so far from middle class) and would not like my children eating at Greggs once a week either. each to their own and all that.

My friend writes a weekly meal plan for her nanny (and provides all the food/ingredients). It's stuck on their fridge and the nanny can choose whether to eat with the kids according to the menu or bring her own packed lunch. Would this be an option for you?

I think it's a tough call actually. Occasionally, Greggs, McDonald, Krispy Kremes, etc., are a lovely treat when it's getting late and everyone's tired or in a hurry between trying to get two things done.

Our dc are teenagers now and having done years of au-pairs perhaps don't underestimate letting the paid help be seen as a bit of fun and not the meanie in the overall scheme of things - makes for happy children who view their carer as a friend and a fun chum as well as someone doing a job and also makes for a bit of loyalty from the carer. Happy children, happy carer, lots of continuity makes a bit of fat, sugar and salt tempered by lots of fruit and veg and protein pale into insignificance.

I wouldn't take DS to Gregg's once a week, so I wouldn't like anyone else doing it either. He gets a gingerbread man there once in a while as a treat, but that's up to me or DH to do.

If part of her job is making sure your kids have healthy, nutritious food, then you have every right to say you'd rather they didn't go there for meals, but an occasional treat is ok.

This reminds me of a thread on here years ago about someone whose Nanny fed the children prepackaged filled pasta from M&S. The OP was very upset about it. I can't remember the outcome but I think she was told not to be so precious.

Everytime a child eats in Greggs a Gwyneth Paltrow dies.

I had a tuna crunch salad sandwich from Greggs in brown bread for lunch and it was delicious.

I have a Greggs for lunch nearly every day.

Usually a sandwich, but when it got really cold their pasties were great.

tiggyD

I love how this has become a class and a sahm vs wohm thing.... Only on mumsnet eh?

Fwiw although I suppose you could call me middle class now, my background is anything but - dirt poor immigrant farmers - but still, if it helps you judge me better then knock yourselves out

I would let her buy them a pizza slice once a week on the understanding that their other meal is a proper home cooked meal (not beans on toast!) with a good amount of veg/salad etc. But thats me.

If you dont want her to do it then say so. She is your employee and you're well within your rights to insist on certain things being done and not done. I like the meal plan idea, especially as she is only there three days a week. As you said, you have a freezer full of stuff she can use so there really is no excuse.

Ok. To back up my concerns.... this is what she's been buying them which you will notice contains the entire daily salt intake for a 2 year old

high salt and sugar is exactly why I woudln't want anythign like that being a regular, weekly, part of my children's diet.

aside from the here and now, I would hate them to grow up thinking that takeaway/junk food should form part of your regular diet.

but then I am a self-confessed food nazi, and prefer the girls to eat proper home cooked food. even more so if I am paying someone else to care for them in my own home (and definitely if I am also providing easy-to-use ready cooked sauces and meals)

I am very disappointed.

For the first time in my life, I went to a Greggs today, solely to buy a jaffa cake doughnut for DP (Valentine's present). The bastards had sold out.

but, but, but - dh's mum was a food nazi - no sweets, fruit and homemade yoghurt for puddings, chocolate at Christmas, no fizzy drinks. Guess whose children grew up with problems over food, being greedy and who hide and guzzle chocolate and don't like sharing sweets. Not mine and I've managed to kick DH into shape after 23 years but you could fit two of me in a leg of either of the sil's jeans.

I didnt know it was that bad, thats shocking and I am grateful that I have food issues that mean I couldnt eat from Greggs even if I wanted to! In that case, a simple "Please do not take the children to Greggs, please make them lunch at home" would be fine. Apart from anything else, she isnt working full time, but 3 days a week so I dont think it is asking too much for her to prepare their meals herself!

See silverfrog I don't consider myself a food nazi at all, I'm happy for them to have things like the, but just not every week. We had pizzas at the weekend which I made, we even sometimes have oven chips, just not all the time.

I can assure you that my children have plenty of nice things to eat, and are unlikely to ever see themselves as deprived in that area.

it just so happens that thankfully they are unable to eat most of the junk/takeaway foods (allergies), so i am spared the Greggs/fruitshoot issue.

there is nothing wrong with the odd takeaway, or pasty/sausage roll/pizza slice. but to grow up seeing ti as a regular part of your diet is not right, imo.

oh yes, fair enough, headfairy. I am only as strict as I am due to allergies etc (dd1 really cannot have much other than home cooked stuff).

my girls ahve had McDonalds (they are good with allergies!) and are all too familiar with the nando's menu.

but not on a weekly basis.

marriedinwhite I had exactly te same upbringing, my mum was the food nazi to end all food nazis, no sweets except Christmas and Easter, no cakes, crisps or biscuits etc. my lunch time "treat" was ryvita with cottage cheese and fruit when I was a kid and I went bonkers when I got control of my own money, I bought nothing but shite. Ate chocolate til it came out of my ears. I'm sure my lifelong ishooos with weight are a result of my mum being so controlling.

That's why I've always been super relaxed about food with the dcs, i don't have food battles, they don't have to clear their plates, if they're not hungry at a meal time the can eat later, if they've eaten a decent amount of real food I'm not even that bothered about them having a few sweets afterwards, so I don't understand why this has bugged me so much, but it has.

Maybe mumsnet has got under my skin too much!

Exactly linerunner as I know all too well... but it's about achieving a balance surely? And I don't think having something as regularly as every week is balanced.

there is a happy medium between banning everything that is seen as a treat (I personally hate the emotional loading that goes into that htought), and not liking junk food being eaten weekly, and seen as a regular part of a diet, though.

when I say food nazi, it is as seen by most of MN. I like my children to eat proper food, not stuff laden with salt and sugar.

they have regular puddings (not just fruit), and cakes/biscuits. they just have to be ones I cook myself, for the most part. and I am thnakful (since I have to be the label police, and so really know more than I shoudl about what goes into most shop-bought stuff) that that is the case, tbh.

You do know what they get fed at secondary school?

yes, I will know what my dd1 is fed at secondary school, as I will have to provide it, as I do now while she is at primary school.

your point?