No wannabe, it's not a case of being damned either way.
But the OP is upset because she was deleted from Facebook without being spoken to by her friend first.
Yet she broke the news of her pregnancy to her friend by text and to everyone else in person, and there has been whispering and an elephant in the room every since.
In my own experience I would have appreciated a face to face conversation or a telephone call to let me know about my SIL's fourth pregnancy, which came just a couple of months after I had given birth to our stillborn son.
Instead, the entire family on DH's side were whispering behind our backs and waited until I was pregnant again to break the news to me.
I can honestly say that all any bereaved parent wants is for their baby and their loss to be acknowledged. It's awful to feel that people are not speaking to you about their pregnancy because you have lost a baby. If the OP had spoken to her friend, the friend might have felt better able to cope with Facebook updates about the pregnancy.
On the SANDS forum I have seen countless people feel like they are being treated as if miscarriage or baby loss is catching in some way, mainly because people don't know what to do or say and so don't say anything, or stop talking when you are in the room, or whisper so you don't hear them.
And honestly, the best thing anyone can do is be brave enough to speak to you in person or by telephone and give you the chance to be treated as you would have been before your loss. Even if you then still find scan pictures and statuses about pregnancy too hard to see sometimes, it might have made the difference in this case between the friend deleting the OP and speaking to her to say she was struggling but didn't want to lose her over it.
I've seen this said a lot on here but if your friendships and relationships are worth anything then they are important enough not to be directed through texts and Facebook updates.
And still, when someone is in such early stages of grief for a lost child, it's not giving them the right to behave however they like if you make a few allowances for something like a Facebook deletion. To someone outside the loss it may seem like a long time ago but to the friend it is raw and new and seems like yesterday. I still have days when I feel like am right back to day one and my first loss was five years ago now.
There's a link here that touches on how a loss feels and one of the things it says is "You know you can die bitter, or die thankful. There is no in-between."
That's true, and most people I know who have been through a loss (and one woman I know who has lost two babies to stillbirth and nine more to miscarriage) would agree with that. But I am also sure that all of them would add that even though they try and mostly succeed at being thankful, there are still days when the bitterness wins no matter what you do.
We don't enjoy those days, and we don't like ourselves very much when they happen. And all we can do is hope that people are understanding and not judge us too harshly when they do happen, because nine times out of ten it's because we have tried very hard not to let it show and just, for a few minutes or hours, we can't keep it to ourselves anymore.
And that's when we need friends to understand that we don't mean to hurt them, in the same way they might not have meant to hurt us, and be a little forgiving of things like this.