AIBU in thinking that this gentleman should win The Parenting Award?

[StealthPenguin]

This video is eight minutes long, so for those that don't have time to watch it, I shall summarize.

Last year, this gentleman, Tommy Jordan, warned his daughter of the consequences if she were to do something stupid and inappropriate on Facebook. At the beginning of this month he was fixing her laptop (and installing $130 worth of software) when he managed to find a post on her Facebook wall that claimed her life was unfair, that she's a slave, and her "lazy-ass parents" make her "do shit for them". Not only this, but she goes on to exaggerate her chores list and curses to high heaven. She then deliberately hid it via her privacy settings so that her parents couldn't see it on her Facebook wall. She did this incorrectly, and the post showed up while Mr. Jordan was fixing her laptop.

He decided to read out this "letter to my parents", and he then addressed some of the issues on it. Firstly, that she refuses to get a part-time job, and only applied to one job because he handed her the application and watched her fill it out. Secondly, that her chores list is not that large. Thirdly, that she expects a new camera, new battery for her laptop, new phone and software upgrades whenever she needs it. She also referred to a woman who couldn't afford to pay Mr. Jordan in conventional terms as their "cleaning lady".

After 6 minutes of discussing how wrong she is, how insulting and upsetting and disrespectful she is being, and how she was warned of the consequences, he proceeds to put eight rounds of ammunition into her laptop. Seven for him, and one on behalf of her mother.

Not only does she now not have a laptop, but she won't get one until she pays for it herself. She also owes him for the ammunition that he used.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think that's perfect. I would never be so disrespectful to my parents, and if I were then I'd probably suffer a similar punishment!

He has explained that his reasons for doing it are a) to teach her of the value of a dollar. If she has everything handed to her, she'll just assume that her parents are going to bankroll her. b) to teach her that what is said on the internet will last a lifetime, if not a good few years. So by being so horrible on a public forum she has humiliated herself and her family. c) That his word is to be taken as gospel, and that there are consequences to her actions.

I think he's very sensible to have done that - it's a dramatic and drastic action, but in his own words "sometimes with teenagers you have to be dramatic".

What do you all think?

He was out in a massive field, or in his his own backyard, depending on which version of a crap defence you want to promulgate.

I certainly wouldn't publically humiliate her in this way thats for sure.

I am wondering if people would so quick to defend his actions if it was a case of his wife posting on MN complaining about things he has been doing and him doing this as a result of her doing it a second time?

And I don't honestly think it would get to that because I would take a step back and realise it's not about me and it's a phase which we have to negotiate with the minimum of threats.

In reference to the OP's first post: that is no "gentleman."

Yes, quite near the end of the video he does refer to other parents putting a "bullet in their kids' asses."

And oh how I love the irony - the one person in the world who won't be able to watch his aggressive macho posturing is the person it's aimed at - his daughter - because he has destroyed her laptop.

(Yes, she'll watch it round at a friend's house, I know, but still ....)

That video is all about power and control and has nothing whatsoever to do with teaching the daughter about mutual respect. She's a teenager ffs; all teenagers whine and moan about their parents at some point. This man has humiliated his daughter in the name of teaching her "respect," and I am pretty darn tootin' sure that it will have had exactly the opposite effect of that which he intended.

What a complete and utter twat.

Make sure she gets a job and charge for her keeping?

I assume she is aware of why she needed to do those chores?

I certainly wouldn't like to have that man as a father...

He's scary.

I think she was having a moan. Her mistake was putting it up on the internet. Though, she thought she'd hidden it from her parents. She probably didn't intend the whole of the internet to see it.

The dad put the video on youtube, for everyone to see.

Also there is a mum, dad and step mum. Who knows how that affects her.

What tethersend said.
She's a teenager, and and far as I can see her behaviour is on the 'normal' spectrum.
She wasn't sleeping around, getting drunk, taking drugs or joining a gang.
If that's his attitude to a private facebook message, God knows what he'd do if she got into serious trouble.
Shoot her in the head maybe?

Yes totem. She's angry alright. I think this will make her angrier and more resentful

Considering that I was a teenager, and considering that I'm only recently out of my teens, I can remember exactly how I was.

And I can tell you 100% that I was never ever ever like this.

I never slagged off my parents just for being my parents, I had three part time jobs as soon as I turned 16, I paid for my own transport and clothes, I didn't have a SmartPhone on contract and the only reason I had an iPod Touch is because it was a present for doing well in exams.

Why do people think teens need to be mollycoddled?? If a 5-year-old was running around hitting things, then people would think "God, control your child", not "Awww, he's only a five-year-old!!"

Teens need a kick up the flamin' backside, or else they become like my sister - a worthless, jobless, entitled piece of shit that thinks the world owes her a living.

Fb didn't exist in my teenage years but who knows what I would have put on there at an age I didn't know better. All sorts do depressive stuff, probably. I didn't dislike my parents that much but then they weren't as authoritarian as these ones seem to be

Stealth - I seeeeeeee..........

Of course she was in the wrong and needed disciplining.
But so is he.

He is the adult. And that clip is not disciplining. It's a rant.

StealthPenguin, why were you different from your sister?

Are you saying you got kicked up the backside but your sister didn't?

And I've got a Stepmum and a Stepdad, but I don't use that as a carte blanche excuse to behave like a princess.

So the gunplay clip is really a metaphor for what you'd like to do to youir sister?

Also, just wanted to say, that quite early on in my parenting career I became aware that some Dcs don't tend to do things just because you say so. It honestly came as a bit of a shock to me. Some DCs need to be managed and disciplined in different ways. Not permissively, but through talk, negotiation and prevention of problems rather than punishment when things have gone wrong. Looking at why they are bahaving as they are, being the adult and changing how you are responding to them.

OriginalJamie :o

I'm different from my sister because I was with mum & stepdad, my sister lived with my father and stepmum.

I've grown up to be a pretty well-organized, well-educated person with a longterm partner and a beautiful baby boy. I'm currently looking for a part-time job to help with the income and even though we'd easily get DHSS, we are staying with my MIL and FIL so we can land on our own feet when we're able to.

My sister has dropped out of two university courses and is thinking of applying for a third. She's never worked, had everything thrown at her and doesn't lift a finger around the house.

On her 19th, she rang my mother and demanded money. Upon hearing that my mother was in hospital, she accused me of lying so I could cheat her out of her money, and when I finally convinced her I was being honest she ordered me to have mum send her a cheque instead.

Think what you like, but if my sister had Tommy Jordan for a role model, she'd be a damn-sight more tolerable than she is now.

I'm on his side, sorry.

And no, I don't wish I could shoot my sister, I just wish she had that discipline. She had such potential.

Sorry. This may be intrusive, but your own post suggests a couple of reasons why she might be different to you..

He took a gun and shot her ver expensive,no doubt laptop on the Internet for all to see what a COCK!

You don't behave and I'll get my big gun out because I am an absolute wanker.

Wrong on soooo many levels, no wonder some kids are so fucked up nowadays.

I may not do something as drastic when DS becomes a teen, but hopefully I won't have to.

You shouldn't indulge teenaged behaviour. It just makes it "OK" for them to behave like it because they can go "Sorry, I'm a teenager".

That's like a 6-year-old still wearing nappies because "they're still a little kid".

Think what you like, but if my sister had Tommy Jordan for a role model, she'd be a damn-sight more tolerable than she is now.

Or not. Who knows?

Was the baby planned, BTW?

I honestly think he's an arse.

Actually, did your parents do anything like this?

They probably didn't need to, because they were not crap parents like this man.