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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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AIBU in thinking that this gentleman should win The Parenting Award?

284 replies

StealthPenguin · 11/02/2012 08:11

This video is eight minutes long, so for those that don't have time to watch it, I shall summarize.

Last year, this gentleman, Tommy Jordan, warned his daughter of the consequences if she were to do something stupid and inappropriate on Facebook. At the beginning of this month he was fixing her laptop (and installing $130 worth of software) when he managed to find a post on her Facebook wall that claimed her life was unfair, that she's a slave, and her "lazy-ass parents" make her "do shit for them". Not only this, but she goes on to exaggerate her chores list and curses to high heaven. She then deliberately hid it via her privacy settings so that her parents couldn't see it on her Facebook wall. She did this incorrectly, and the post showed up while Mr. Jordan was fixing her laptop.

He decided to read out this "letter to my parents", and he then addressed some of the issues on it. Firstly, that she refuses to get a part-time job, and only applied to one job because he handed her the application and watched her fill it out. Secondly, that her chores list is not that large. Thirdly, that she expects a new camera, new battery for her laptop, new phone and software upgrades whenever she needs it. She also referred to a woman who couldn't afford to pay Mr. Jordan in conventional terms as their "cleaning lady".

After 6 minutes of discussing how wrong she is, how insulting and upsetting and disrespectful she is being, and how she was warned of the consequences, he proceeds to put eight rounds of ammunition into her laptop. Seven for him, and one on behalf of her mother.

Not only does she now not have a laptop, but she won't get one until she pays for it herself. She also owes him for the ammunition that he used.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think that's perfect. I would never be so disrespectful to my parents, and if I were then I'd probably suffer a similar punishment!

He has explained that his reasons for doing it are a) to teach her of the value of a dollar. If she has everything handed to her, she'll just assume that her parents are going to bankroll her. b) to teach her that what is said on the internet will last a lifetime, if not a good few years. So by being so horrible on a public forum she has humiliated herself and her family. c) That his word is to be taken as gospel, and that there are consequences to her actions.

I think he's very sensible to have done that - it's a dramatic and drastic action, but in his own words "sometimes with teenagers you have to be dramatic".

What do you all think?

OP posts:
tethersend · 11/02/2012 20:22

"All this hand wringing and talk of social services 'in this country' is a prime example of why 'this country' is going to the fecking dogs."

Dogs? WITH FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS?

aldiwhore · 11/02/2012 20:24

I'd think differently of him if he'd thrown the laptop out of the window, or driven over it. I have thought more highly of him.

His rant is justified, and in anger.

It wasn't the first time she'd publically slagged off her parents, and it was THEIR rule that she mustn't do it again. She did it again.

I don't like the gun, I don't like that he posted it all over FB (but then he does work in IT and probably lives in the virtual world a lot Wink)

I was a shit as a teen, a troubled, unhappy shit, but a shit nonetheless. My folks tried gentleness, tried respect and giving me responsibility, they tried begging, showering me with love, they tried every positive tactic known to man, I just got worse, smugly believeing that they were a soft touch and I could get away with pretty much anything. They were GOOD parents. They gave me a good childhood.

They got to the end of their tether, they got ANGRY, they took drastic measures that affected my freedom, my belongings, my home (locked doors - a prison? Maybe.) they never withdrew love but I remember them telling me in no uncertain terms what a horror I was becoming, how it made them feel, and threw out possessions I took for granted (not sentimental, a tape recorder!) THREW it out... had they given it away the affect would not have been the same, they destroyed it.

I thank them for it. I am sorry I pushed them. But I learned something very useful for my adult life. If you put your hand in a lion's mouth enough times, one day it will bite you. If you take the piss with people who've given you everything, one day tough love will come into force.

What this bloke did was not nice. I don't think he felt like he had an awful lot of choice, so won't be calling him names. Isuspect the mum is probably disabled too if they get the (not) cleaner? I also suspect the 15 yr old dd is a lazy, arrogant, PITA.... why let her continue? Its not fair on her.

saintlyjimjams · 11/02/2012 20:26

What a cock.

I'm confused as to why she should treat her parents opinions as her own and not disagree with them. Surely you bring your kids up to have their own opinions. She doesn't sound tgat different from any other self obsessed teenager, most come out the other side as pleasant enough adults.

I am giggling at the thought of hacking the dogs FB account.

He sounds a bully tbh. Opposite of great parenting. My son keeps losing his school jumpers. I've told him if he loses one more he'll have to pay to replace it. Oh look teaching the value of something without shooting anything. :genius:

Sirzy · 11/02/2012 20:32

There is a big difference between a "kick up the arse" and publicly humiliating her and using a gun to do so!

alistron1 · 11/02/2012 20:34

saintlyjimjams Just shoot a jumper FFS and put it on youtube - simples. And what's wrong with a dog having a FB account - I bet his status updates aint all passive aggressive and attention seeking.

I think 99% of parenting issues in this country would be solved if we were handed a gun with our bounty pack. Toddler tantrums, not going to sleep, fussy eaters, teenage shit - all dealt with. I may or may not be entirely serious - I haven't decided yet.

saintlyjimjams · 11/02/2012 20:37

Actually ds2's remaining jumper does look like it's been shot it has so many holes....

alistron1 · 11/02/2012 20:56

well put it on youtube, smoke a fag and rant. You'll go viral and never have to work again Grin

OriginalJamie · 11/02/2012 20:58

Am thinking of putting DS1s Lego in the garden and hitting it with DHs bike which I have repeatedly asked both of them not to leave lying around for others to trip up on. Would that have the necessary impact?

OriginalJamie · 11/02/2012 20:58

Obviously I would wear a Stetson and smoke as well

tethersend · 11/02/2012 20:59

"I think 99% of parenting issues in this country would be solved if we were handed a gun with our bounty pack."

What's the 1%?

tethersend · 11/02/2012 20:59

Oh, right. Gun crime. Duh.

OriginalJamie · 11/02/2012 21:00

Potty Training

tethersend · 11/02/2012 21:05
Grin
alistron1 · 11/02/2012 21:08

The 1% is issues caused by our Dc being 'gifted' ffs, isn't it obvious

saintlyjimjams · 11/02/2012 22:14

God you're right alistron :flicks through luxury yacht catalogue whilst smoking fag:

bobbledunk · 11/02/2012 22:21

Teenage girls are such drama queensGrin.

She won't be publicly disrespectful of her family again. If all parents took responsibility for teaching their children good behaviour, there would be far less bullying in schools and much lower crime rates.

OriginalJamie · 11/02/2012 22:27

Oh I agree. Not sure what that has to do with shooting laptops though

WibblyBibble · 11/02/2012 22:32

I think he's a psycho. I think his daughter is a brat. I think it is now just slightly more worrying than before that our own government is idiotic enough to economically/socially idolise a country where such things are considered normal. And I think you're a bit dim. HTH.

OriginalJamie · 11/02/2012 22:35

Wibble. Concise.

LadyBeagleEyes · 11/02/2012 22:43

You mean he might have made money out of this?
Right, someone get me a gun.
I'll talk ds into writing something mean about me on facebook.
Just wondering what I should shoot though, since the laptop's done.
His phone? His foot? The dog?

Wanders of humming 'I'm in the money'.

rogersmellyonthetelly · 11/02/2012 23:29

Agree with everything he did except shooting the lap top. She posted lies where everyone could see them, he set the record straight. I would have removed all her stuff until she did the chores and earned the money to buy them back.
Giving your kids everything on a plate does them no faVours and doesn't teach them the value of what they have, which leads to young adults who are self centred and think the world owes them something.

LineRunner · 11/02/2012 23:45

I just sat through the whole thing with my DD (15).

As she says, what kid should have to get up at 5am to do chores? To fall exhausted into bed at 10pm having not stopped doing housework, school and school work all day? To clean up after their parents' muddy footprints on a floor she has just cleaned?

Yes they also have a cleaner.

But this guy has got a house as big as his ego and this kid resents the unwanted crappy package.

She works hard anyway.

And then he gets his gun out.

tethersend · 11/02/2012 23:50

Won't somebody think of the dog?

IT HAS A FACEBOOK ACCOUNT.

pictish · 12/02/2012 00:06

I agree linerunner

I think it's a case of people being so fed up of drippy parents.

Drippy parents would not be better if they were like this though. I suspect they do expect a lot from their daughter....and certainly her father isn't particularly pleasant about it.

All that blarg about going to college, finishing school, working two jobs and volunteering as a fireman aged 15!
No.

The guy is a fanny.

LineRunner · 12/02/2012 00:10

Ok, for the team.

The man has a gun.

The dog has a facebook account.

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