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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU in thinking that this gentleman should win The Parenting Award?

284 replies

StealthPenguin · 11/02/2012 08:11

This video is eight minutes long, so for those that don't have time to watch it, I shall summarize.

Last year, this gentleman, Tommy Jordan, warned his daughter of the consequences if she were to do something stupid and inappropriate on Facebook. At the beginning of this month he was fixing her laptop (and installing $130 worth of software) when he managed to find a post on her Facebook wall that claimed her life was unfair, that she's a slave, and her "lazy-ass parents" make her "do shit for them". Not only this, but she goes on to exaggerate her chores list and curses to high heaven. She then deliberately hid it via her privacy settings so that her parents couldn't see it on her Facebook wall. She did this incorrectly, and the post showed up while Mr. Jordan was fixing her laptop.

He decided to read out this "letter to my parents", and he then addressed some of the issues on it. Firstly, that she refuses to get a part-time job, and only applied to one job because he handed her the application and watched her fill it out. Secondly, that her chores list is not that large. Thirdly, that she expects a new camera, new battery for her laptop, new phone and software upgrades whenever she needs it. She also referred to a woman who couldn't afford to pay Mr. Jordan in conventional terms as their "cleaning lady".

After 6 minutes of discussing how wrong she is, how insulting and upsetting and disrespectful she is being, and how she was warned of the consequences, he proceeds to put eight rounds of ammunition into her laptop. Seven for him, and one on behalf of her mother.

Not only does she now not have a laptop, but she won't get one until she pays for it herself. She also owes him for the ammunition that he used.

Now, I don't know about you, but I think that's perfect. I would never be so disrespectful to my parents, and if I were then I'd probably suffer a similar punishment!

He has explained that his reasons for doing it are a) to teach her of the value of a dollar. If she has everything handed to her, she'll just assume that her parents are going to bankroll her. b) to teach her that what is said on the internet will last a lifetime, if not a good few years. So by being so horrible on a public forum she has humiliated herself and her family. c) That his word is to be taken as gospel, and that there are consequences to her actions.

I think he's very sensible to have done that - it's a dramatic and drastic action, but in his own words "sometimes with teenagers you have to be dramatic".

What do you all think?

OP posts:
LineRunner · 11/02/2012 08:45

He seemed very proud of his marksmanship.

It's all about the grouping.

Do what I say or I'll shoot something with deadly accuracy. Nice.

Original poster
StealthPenguin · 11/02/2012 08:46

FeedTheGoat - he's addressed that.

We have always told her what you put online can affect you forever. Years later a single Facebook/MySpace/Twitter comment can affect her eligibility for a good job and can even get her fired from a job she already has. She?s seen first-hand through this video the worst possible scenario that can happen. One post, made by her Dad, will probably follow him the rest of his life; just like those mean things she said on Facebook will stick with the people her words hurt for a long time to come. Once you put it out there, you can?t take it back, so think carefully before you use the internet to broadcast your thoughts and feelings.

OP posts:
StrandedBear · 11/02/2012 08:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coraltoes · 11/02/2012 08:49

I don't think your dad shooting your laptop will make you anymore intelligent than say, my dad, who explained why things were wrong without a lethal weapon. I respect my dad. I suspect she fears hers.

troisgarcons · 11/02/2012 08:49

Im faling to see if he shot the laptop how she was supposed to access his youtube and learn her lesson?

Original poster
StealthPenguin · 11/02/2012 08:51

So, first of all he's overreacting and she's "just a normal teenager", and now he's overreacting and a bad parent for not bringing her up properly?

Christ, no wonder kids these days think they can get away with anything.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 11/02/2012 08:59

I think he's an odd parent for addressing a parenting issue with the aid of deadly force.

StrandedBear · 11/02/2012 08:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

troisgarcons · 11/02/2012 08:59

I think he's a nut-job who rules by fear rather than respect. She's a normal teenager using todays mediums for communicating to her friends. The only "fact" in that is the written word hangs round for yearswhere as the spoken work drifts away on a the breeze. She's not had any more of a whinge than teenagers have done since time began.

Incidentally, I wonder if his IT company will get more or less business now?

Finallygotaroundtoit · 11/02/2012 09:01

Agree with coraltoes and all who say he was wrong to punish her for 'publicly humiliating the family' by erm 'publicly humiliating her' Hmm

Also, I think most people would realise that things teenagers posted represent them at that time - we as adults are aware that people mature and move on.

The father has no excuse

alessthandomesticgoddess · 11/02/2012 09:01

I think he's out of line too. How is he ever going to teach his child respect by doing the things he does?

northernmonkey · 11/02/2012 09:05

Ive just watched this and I thought it was great!!
It was a bit extreme with the shooting of the laptop...but hey its the American way.
I do think she will learn her lesson though

LineRunner · 11/02/2012 09:07

It might be the Republican way, but it's not necessarily the American way. I shall now be searching for Jon Stewart's take on it.

MCos · 11/02/2012 09:13

Oh FFS, what a total arse.
No wonder she isn't respectful. Act as I do, not do as I say.

toddlerama · 11/02/2012 09:18

What a pair of attention seeking ranters.

SmethwickBelle · 11/02/2012 09:20

I think its horrible, public humiliation as a method of discipline and waving a gun around as well. Yuck.

Tooblunt2012 · 11/02/2012 09:59

When I read the synopsis, I agreed with the majority of comments here, however after watching the video, apart from the shooting of the laptop (which was outside away from anyone), I actually think he's not unreasonable with his reaction.

I think he is quite articulate & appears to have warned her previously. I don't think it is typical teenage behaviour to be so disrespectful of parents etc in such a public way & the letter she wrote sounded quite vile.

I also think that we need to remember it is North Carolina, so whilst we may be horrified by the use of the gun, owning one isn't such a scary thing & from watching the video I don't actually think she'll fear her dad at all but may think twice about disrespecting her parents in future.

Good luck to them & I hope over time she learns some respect.

cory · 11/02/2012 10:07

Everything that StrandedBear said.

If you want to model dignified behaviour and respect for property there might just be other ways to go about it. A combination of extreme laxity and sudden attention-seeking knee jerk reactions is not likely to be the answer the discipline problems of today's children.

Unless, of course, he is nobly proposing to turn himself into a warning example of the dangers of stupidity on the internet as suggested by Stealth Wink

But he should remember that the first duty of a parent is to be an example, not an Awful Warning.

Panfriedstardust · 11/02/2012 10:26

I can't be the only one left wondering how one uploads bullets onto a laptop...

for all the reasons Stranded and cory say, the man sounds like a dangerous wanker.

Original poster
StealthPenguin · 11/02/2012 10:29

TooBlunt2012, I did try to explain it as best I could, but maybe that's where I've gone wrong.

I recommend people watch the video, if you have time.

OP posts:
jesuswhatnext · 11/02/2012 10:34

parenting problems solved with a gun - words fail me.

aldiwhore · 11/02/2012 10:35

Taking away the whole gun part, being a brit I can't get my head around domestic guns (although I like clay pigeon shooting) and I think that although it was a waste of a laptop, it was worth the cost. I', going to pretend he threw it out of the window.... I have done that to my eldest's favourite DVD in the past. It doesn't teach the child to be wasteful, I found it has the opposite effect.

Don't like the fact he posted it on the internet BUT that was a lesson in itself. She brought shame on the family unjustly, he punished her by defending himself in that public domain she had already entered, so that punishment seems to fit... much as I don't like it. She will learn the lesson where its failed in the past its not like it was the first time.

I hope that's the end of it and they have put it behind them, no need to carry on the punishment, but by going viral he's set his dd up for a lot of stick for a long time. She may be a nice kid, a relatively normal, dramatic, negative 'everyone hates me' teen, most people will now see her as a brat, so what chance has she got?

My judgment is that the dad is no genius, but I can't vilify him either (IF I don't think about domestic guns, it IS a different culture and I have to see past that).

jesuswhatnext · 11/02/2012 10:36

aldi, you are dead right, that dad is certainly no genius!

jesuswhatnext · 11/02/2012 10:37

btw, if every parent did this to teens who wrote about being a 'slave' at home and how unfair life is, there would be no facebook!

PattiMayor · 11/02/2012 10:41

I'm with aldi. I also think that it's pointless talking about the fact that he used a gun - the attitude to guns in the US is so very different to the UK.