not to have a plan about baby crying..

[stella1w]

He's seven months.. cries a bit before naps, but goes off quite quickly. At night, another story.. down at 7.30pm, forty mins later awake, I settle him, down for 30 mins, awake.. He's been crying now for about forty mins. Not loudly, just kind of grizzling, but it doesn't sound like he's getting any sleepier.. Usually I would just go in and lie down with him to get him to go back to sleep but if I do that now, I won't get up again for the evening and I am fed up with going to be so early with the house in chaos. I'm not in favour of cry it out, but at a practical level, I don't think I can carry on like this every evening.

Just wanted to say my DD is 7 mths and I'm going through the same thing...it's amazing how difficult it is to make a decision regarding your LO when your nerves are shot and you just want to sleeeeeep.

I have resorted to feeding her to sleep (which I'd said in the light of day that I'd stop doing!), it's the only thing that works. I think she's at an awkward age development-wise so it's just about what helps both of you cope while it passes.

Its a load of rubbish that co sleeping effects your sex life ime. We were still having sex 3-4 times a week from 3 weeks after bith whilst cosleeping. We coslept until 20 months put her in a bed then she just sleeps through every night now with no wake ups 6.30-6.30 at least and so we have very long evenings to ourselves. Just because you do something for a baby/toddler doesnt mean it will be like that forever.

I think that if you are certain you won't get up again, you must be exhausted, and need to stay in bed.

Let the housework go hang!

In two years' time, when you look back upon The Time When You Had A 7 Month Old, you will not be regretting the untidiness of the house.

I agree that when babies are small, the baby, then sleep/eating is all that matters. Housework will keep. (And freezers and batches of food are God.) Sleep deprivation was an absolute killer. I didn't know you COULD be that tired.

If he needs you to fall asleep, can you try leaving just before he drifts off to get him used to it? Or stay in the room making noises - I used to quietly fold clothes or something (yes, in the dark) so DS knew I was there still. That got him more comfortable at not needing me all the time.

However it changes so much - sometimes DS would want us other times not. Now at 2.4 he still needs us sometimes but it doesn't take long so I don't mind!

If the child isnt sick why on earth would someone suggest giving him calpol. Surely calpol should be used when a child is sick and needs it not just when they are grizzly.
Children can build up a defence against medicine given at such a young age and regular intervals so when the child does need Calpol it becomes less affective.

Emotional damage to a child is the result of years of chronic neglect and unkindness. If you love your child and intend always to do the best for him, letting a seven month old grizzle for a short while is not going to harm him. He's safe in his cot, he's fine, you love him. You are not abusing him , you're simply trying to find a way that works- that isn't selfish, it's just sensible.

Barbiegirl, you are wrongnin so many ways.

Seeker no, she isn't, she just parents differently to us. I do the full attachment parenting thing myself too, but let's not get carried away here. This stuff is theory, and my DS and a good friend's DS are similarly confident, secure, happy kids. He was a Gina routinised baby from birth - doesn't seem to have scarred him. There is no one right way to bring up a baby. Every generation thinks they've cracked it - our D/DIL will mock us in their turn.

I just think that judging good and loving parents is unhelpful. Different styles suit different people. I followed my instincts which were to respond at once, feed to sleep, carry around, etc etc etc but that was my choice. It doesn't make my methods better, and if they leave a woman on her knees then that would make them worse, IMO.

I just think that judging good and loving parents is unhelpful. Different styles suit different people. I followed my instincts which were to respond at once, feed to sleep, carry around, etc etc etc but that was my choice. It doesn't make my methods better, and if they leave a woman on her knees then that would make them worse, IMO.

^^ What she said ^^^

There's enough guilt involved in parenting as it is without us all criticising each other. OP, I hope you got through the night and that your DD is okay. You may get less arguments if you post on 'Sleep' or 'Breast and Bottle Feeding' next time you're worried about her

I'm also wondering if he needs either a later (not ready for sleep) or earlier bedtime (over-tiredness).

rosie - is that true?

Grizzling at this age could be related to teething pain. IME teething pain is worse in the evening and at night

If you do not know why a child is grizzling then you shouldnt dose up with calpol. I have 5 children and unless it is NEEDED then children should not be given medicines.

We live in a world of medicines, every snuffle someone suggests to give a child calpol. Calpol is given too widly imo and i have known of many parents that give their child calpol just to get a good nights sleep.

The child in question here is grizzly, isnt screaming the place down and OP hasnt mentioned the child being ill or appearing unwell so why on earth would calpol be given? Is tehre anything in the cot with baby so that he can amuse himself?

Oh and I have 5 DC so have had more than enough experience at raising children.

And yes calpol becomes less effective if given at regular intervals when it is NOT needed. And also its not a bad thing for a child to experience some discomfort ie teething.

Maybe i am old fashioned but when my DS is sick unless his temperature cant be controlled by a cool bath and stripping him off then only then will he get calpol.

I don't know what evidence you have that giving the prescribed does any harm. And Calpol isn't for illness or fever, it is for pain. I guess we differ in terms of attitude to meds, but when I'm in pain I take painkillers!

However, I only have 2 DC so perhaps you trump me

sorry, Calpol isn't just for illness/fever

Several studies have linked giving calpol more than once a month in infancy with asthma. Having said that, it's not proven yet (the old correlation/causation thing) and the fact is, a child in serious discomfort needs calpol. But the advice is firmly that it should only be used when plainly needed - not as an attempt to comfort when the child is grizzling for an unknown reason.

My mother constantly tried to get me to give DS calpol as that was the automatic response from her generation. I just showed her the medical lit and said he got it when worryingly hot, or in pain, not as a way to handle upset. The funny thing is, my aunt crossly told me that my mother told her all this rubbish about how you should be careful with using calpol to comfort when my cousin had her first baby a year after I did, and what nonsense it sounded.

I doubt it's the end of the world, though. DS had breastmilk and hardly any calpol, and lo and behold, he has nasty asthma. And sure, anecdote is not data, but I'm a big believer in whatever gets you through.

I was all text book with my 1st, but my 3rd, I just let her fall asleep with me on the sofa and then take her up when I go to bed and put her in her cot which is next to my bed - which has a 2 and and 4 year old in it.

What harm will it do ? Let him fall asleep having a cuddle, and then put him down.

rosie can you elaborate on why it is not a bad thing for a baby to experience discomfort during teething. I can't get my head round this but may have missed something. Of course it's inevitable that children will suffer sometimes and we won't be able to always help them but would you see this as a positive good?

Seeker - you have been arguably the least helpful person on this thread.

You've done nothing but judge and criticise people for not parenting the same way as you. You haven't offered up a single helpful suggestion, nor one explanation backing up your assertions, or why others methods are so wrong.

What's your point on this thread, other than to make people in a difficult situation feel like crap?

"emotional.1 damage to a child is the result of years of chronic neglect" prove it.

"If you love your child and intend always to do the best for him, letting a seven month old grizzle for a short while" 45 minutes is not a short time for a 7 month old.

Ok. Here's helpful. If a 7 month old baby cries it needs something. It has an emotional or physical need, and it is asking for that need to b met in the only way it knows. it is not bing naughty or manipulative- it doesn't know how. Pick it up, cuddle it, feed it, stroke its head- don't leave it to cry qnd to learn that its needs are not

Sorry- posted too soon- its needs are not important. Yes, some babies have q bf of a cry bfor they sleep. But not 45 minutes.

yes because the 7 month old will remember that night for the rest of his life

Yes it is a positive, it means when they need medicine they get all the benefits from it. Kids get bugs, coughs, colds etc and dont actually need medicating to get through it.
As your child grows he/she will feel pain ie when they fall over. I dont get the whole give your kid calpol for every darn thing because simply they dont need it.

Tooth related pain is horrible, I canr imagine having the means to reduce or remove that pain from my baby and not doing it.
I don't get the "he won't remember it" type comments. None of us remember things from below around 4 (3?) but would anyone honestly suggest we should treat babies any old way till they're at an age they will remember as an adult?