To want to become a midwife?

[CoralRose]

I'm 28. I have three DC 5 and under. My husband is self employed and works long hours to make ends meet.

I have no qualifications (except GCSE's) and would need to be in full time education for at least 4 years (I think) before I could start work.

It will cost us a fortune and I will see little return (in terms if money).

It will be tough, and I won't get to be Sahm to the 3 dc anymore.

AIBU, should I forget it and get a part time retail job when the DC are all at school?

It involves shift work and travelling, and the academic side is tough. The dropout rate is high, and there aren't necessarily jobs near your home. Just be aware- its all very well saying "Ooh, go for your dream", but it had to be a realistic one. I hope you get some good solid advice.

I know LeBof. I just feel this is the point that I might I might look back on in 10 years and say "why didn't I go for it?!"

I'm currently on an access course and have applied to uni to do MW course in September. I'm not going to lie, it is tough time and money wise. We have 4 DC, 3 in school and a toddler. The access course cost £2k and we're paying out £450 a month for 2 days a week nursery and ASC costs. College is 2.5 days a week of lectures and about 15 hours a week independent study. You would also need to get relevant experience, so apply to the local hospital to volunteer a few hours a week in their maternity unit.

having said that, I love it and wouldn't change a thing. It's lovely to be doimg something for myself after years of childcare and not much else. If youcan afford it

It's no wonder there is a crying shortage, they make it do tough, no more so than ever with all the cuts. I must be mad!

go for it! Take it in small steps and make it a longterm plan. make appointment with the nearest university that trains midwives and find out entry qualifications needed etc as these have all changed fairly recently i think. There may be an access course that you can do part time. You are only 28 so if it takes you until you are 38 to become a fully trained midwife, you will still have many years in a job that you love rather than stuck in a retail job that you dont really want to do. It will be hard work but worth it. Good luck.

it's a myth there is a midwife shortage. DC promised 5000 more and then changed his mind. there are very very few actual midwife jobs around. the NHS is not a happy place to be working at the mo.

Having said that if you can afford it, if you have endless support from partner and family and reliable childcare then go for it. it is amazing.

oops posted too soon.

if you can afford it then do it, it is amazing and even the access course has made me learn a lot about myself.

it is intensely competitive to get on the uni course. 1500 applications for 70 places at my local uni. Would it be feasible for you to get HCA work until at least 2 of your DC are in school? Just thinking of childcare costs short term.

Hi, I'm a first year student midwife, I'm 29 and I have 2 primary school aged children. First of all midwifery is very competitive, you would need a-levels or an access course and most unis like you to have experience as well. It's not easy to get a place. Whilst you're a student you are expected to work shifts, nights weekends bank holidays etc etc so you would need some prety robust Childcare in place. There is an nhs bursary which you recieve as a student and depending on family income you may get help with childcare.
If it's what you really want to do then anything is possible, there are girls on my course with 3 or 4 kids, babies too but they have childcare and family back up when they need it. My advice would be to go to your local uni open day, talk to the tutors about what you need to do to meet the entrance requirements and talk to some current students about the realities of the course. If you have any questions I can answer for you, just ask.
Good luck :)

I'm hoping to become a midwife too, but I will have to start from scratch, I haven't got any GCSE's. I'm planning to talk to the local college about what courses I'll need to take soon. I'm planning to take the early courses part time, I think the pre access course I'll need will take 2 years pt.

I think it will be worth the investment of time and money, I've been a SAHM for 10 years now and because of my lack of qualifications I have no decent job prospects for the future when the kids are older unless I start now. I'll also have to learn to drive.

Dp is in full time employment but doesnt earn much, he's a plasterer by trade (not what he does atm) so we have agreed that when/if I qualify and get a job he'll go back to plastering self employed so we will be ok for childcare. It's the only way we'll be able to afford it with 4/5 kids.

The shortage is nothing to do with how tough it is, the university courses are very oversubscribed!

If you want to do it then do it. Try. You have time, spend some time gathering experience and doing volunteer work to make sure it is what you want to do. Then get your qualifications in order and apply.

I am 28. Dcs age 5 and 3 and I'm 38 weeks with number 3. I have an interview tomorrow for university! I'm really hoping to get on for the March 2013 entry, it would be perfect. If I don't then I'm definitely trying again the next cycle for Septembe 2013.

Financially I don't know how it will pan out, we will just have to see. Information on childcare grants is difficult to come by as they do each one individually with our mortgage etc so you have to have your place and apply for the finance to get a definite answer. Useful . If I can't get the childcare portion I'll have to give it up.

I did lots of other 'little' jobs but the desire to be a MW kept bugging me. Now been one for 6 years and yeah, it's totally bloody awful sometimes but I can't see myself doing anything else.
If you think you could settle in another role then focus on that,but if you feel its where your heart lies then go for it.
Perhaps volunteer for a couple of shifts at a maternity unit so you can get a little feel for it.

It is very competitive to get on a midwifery course, and they will expect you to show a strong interest in women's health. The course will involve placements which will be weekends, nights and shift work.

It is difficult when you have children, I trained as a nurse when my son was 8, and had one placement where the only shifts were 0700 to 1930 and 1900 to 0730. As a single mum this made childcare an absolute nightmare.

I believe they are not allowed to do this any more and you can do 7,5 hour shifts x 5 days, the downside being you can get two weeks of shifts back to back meaning you could be down to work ten days in a row when on placement. You can't self roster as you have to make sure you spend at least 50% of time working with your mentor.

I'm not trying to put you off, if you want to do it that much you will find a way.

They might not be 'allowed' to do this anymore but they certainly do..

The shift/child care element is what put me off. I was offered a place at Edinburgh when my youngest was a baby, but without family/overnight child care it was impossible. I would have needed to buy a car too, as some of the placements were in the rural outlying areas, with shifts starting way before the buses did. I decided it just wasn't feasible in the end.

Yes I know. A lot of nhs staff want the "long days" as they want the three day week, also nights have to be this duration as you could hardly have a shift change at 3am! A student is expected to do the hours their mentor does.

When I was having difficulty with getting childcare at 6.30am as a nursing student I was told "tough, once you are qualified you can't pick your own hours so you might as well get used to it now"!

Having just rtw after mat leave I can honestly say they are no more flexible now! It should be a huge consideration for someone thinking of starting training with children

Childcare is an arse. I'm lucky, my dh works a fairly standard office hours type job so childcare will be based around him should I get on the course. I know I'm going to hate not seeing so much of the dcs, being as involved in homework and reading etc but I'll hate not having the career I want more.

Homework and reading? What are you, some kind of weirdo?

I've just re-read the OP. Three kids under five? I'd regularly want to be out of the house for fourteen hours straight too

I also want to retrain to be a midwife and I am finding it difficult to get onto the first rung of the ladder. Places on midwifery degrees are like gold dust, my local university had 24 applications for every place in 2009. I have spoken at length with my local admissions office and they have advised that the following would help my application.

• Strong A Levels in science subjects, particularly biology. My Biology grade is only a D, so I have been advised to do either sit a Human Biology A Level and gain a grade B or higher, or to do a full-time Access to Higher Education course with a strong biology weighting. I have a HND in Food Science, but still require the above. Evidence of recent study (in the last 2 yrs) to A Level minimum is required.

• Plenty of work experience in a healthcare setting. This evidence is used to support your UCAS application. Most hospitals allow you to gain work experience there, but due to child protection, you will probably not be allowed to volunteer on a Childrens Ward or Maternity Ward before being on an approved course (such as nursing or midwifery degree). That is certainly the case at my local hospital.

• Volunteer at your local baby groups/ Sure Start Centres. I volunteer at our breastfeeding support group and breastfeeding antenatal group. I have the support of my local breastfeeding co-ordinator, who is also a midwife and my HV. Again this is evidence to make your UCAS application as strong as possible and stand out against the other 20-30 who are applying for that one place.

Once you do get onto the course, the hours aren't typical student hours (weekend and night placements are quite commonplace) and the holidays are very short - something to bear in mind with regards children being at school and holiday childcare costs. Good luck to anyone wanting to do it though, even with all the above I still have a burning desire to do it and will hopefully achieve my dream.

LeBof. Well, he is my pfb and only in reception. I'm sure I'll get sick of fawning over his efforts soon enough.

OP, Can't you wait until your DCs are a bit older? 3 under 5s and a degree and shift work sounds like a big ask of yourself and your family.

Could you give it, say, another 10 years, do some voluntary work with young families in the mean time and then study when the kids are a bit older? Did you BF? You could train as a BF supporter. You could volunteer with SureStart or something. I know they're nothing like MWery but you would be supporting women with young babies which has got to be the main driver for becoming a MW? It's not the good hours or the pay!

I know that when you're 28, you start to feel your life slipping past very quickly and you start to feel a degree of panic about your qualifications and career. And the need to "do something with your life" can become overwhelming. I felt the same, but now, 10 years on, I'm a lot more relaxed about what I can achieve and when.

Seriously, if you'd gone to university at 18 you'd have only graduated 7 years ago. You didn't, you got married and had children. It won't be too late to train when they're older, but don't try and do too much when they're still young, it's hard work on all of you.

My sister started training in her late 30s with just a couple of ancient O levels. She was in her early 40s when she qualified. She really struggled in the early days after qualifying but she has since gone on to do very well. And what it has done for her self-esteem - going from almost 20 years of SAHMing with four children to being the only member of our family to have gained a degree (a first) - is incalculable.

Compared to her you are young, and your children are younger than hers were, so maybe there's no rush. Good luck if you decide to go for it though.

My advice is to make sure you know what the job actually is. Your experienceo f birth does not actually inform you too much about what the day to day job is, iyswim?

Be ready to realise the job is technical. It deals with facts, reports, equipment, interpreting results, applying findings and endless endless paper work.

You need to enjoy and like writing. Think 10 sidesof A4pure notes for a labour, plus maybe epidural obs paperwork, maybe syntocicoc obs paperwork, maybe DVT risk assessment paperwork, pressure management paperwork, early warning/intervention paperwork, antacid paperwork....and that's just the labour. Post delivery loof at regisration with NHS for babies, the regristrar of births, hospital number generation...truly it goes on and on and on.

You know when you think you'll be helping a mother feed her newborn and get to know him? You won't. You will be doing the notes.

Then remember the not so lovely side. Community midiwves spend a large amount of times in case conferences, meeting other team members to try implement child protection concerns. The paper trail has to be watertight, no errors, no mistakes in judgement. Nothing. All you info and evidence you need to present at case review will need to be gathered in the ...oh...15 min appt you can allow, as you have 18 visits to do that day.......

Also be aware you will look after families who opt to terminate pregnancies in distressing and painful circumstances. Sometimes you may have your own experiences or opinions that can make dressing and wrapping that little baby very hard indeed.

Be aware not all pregnancies are ok in the end. Some families will break your heart with their pain and suffering.

Be aware not everone will appreciate your care or agree with you. People will have different care and experience expectations - as might you. However your employer - the NHS - may not allow you or the familes to have the experience they want.
Sometimes it won't be the 'system' it will be the biology. You have to tell people news that makes them very sad, angry, helpless and vulnerable. For example - I'm sorry you are in so much pain, but no you are not in labour yet. Or I'm sorry you have been contracting for hours, but no, your labour hasn't progressed. And no I can't stay and rub your back, I have another lady who is about fully dilated. I'm sorry.

You say sorry a lot in this job.

It is a remarkable job. it really is. But if you have a remarkable job it is remarkable in lots of ways. Be ready for the not so satistfying remarkable.

The 'good' remarkable is truly wonderful. You get to see people birth and have their experience and travel their road. They will do this with or without you, you just get to watch. It isn't your journey, it is theirs.
Alturism and generosity is at the core of a good midwife.

Good luck with your decision.

oh i wouldn't like that, too many vaginal examinations, too understaffed, stiching up fanjos, low pay, stressful working conditions, weekends evenings and christmas work.

i find it hard to understand why anyone would want to do this.

A very sobering insight, WorriedSilly.