To want to become a midwife?

[CoralRose]

I'm 28. I have three DC 5 and under. My husband is self employed and works long hours to make ends meet.

I have no qualifications (except GCSE's) and would need to be in full time education for at least 4 years (I think) before I could start work.

It will cost us a fortune and I will see little return (in terms if money).

It will be tough, and I won't get to be Sahm to the 3 dc anymore.

AIBU, should I forget it and get a part time retail job when the DC are all at school?

Also wondering if PND affects it? Iwill ask at the collage tonight.
Also will having had SS involvment affect my chances re CRB check? SS involvment was to do with home enviroment not abuse/neglect.

I personally wouldn't due to the shifts and my husband also doing shifts; it is bad enough him missing birthdays etc without us both doing that. I also would hate missing the kids plays etc. I say wait 10 years, 38 is still very young to do training, I read somewhere the average age was 36. I have a friend who did it with 2 DC and her hubby was 9-5. However, she struggled getting a fulltime job. Loads of people on her course dropped out.

I went into a simelar career years ago (in my early 20s) but dropped out with my DD2 as hated leaving DD1 in fulltime childcare and missing out (as it felt). I have never regretted leaving it.

Everybody is different, though. Have you considered an OU course? I know a few people who got into uni that way.

Just wanted to add, someone mentioned doing a conversion to midwifery course after doing nursing. I think they've stopped this so it's just pure midwifery you can do now.

Rather than throwing yourself into years of study why dont you do some volunteering work and after getting experience see if you can get a job as a midwife assistant first. It'll give you first hand knowledge of whether the job is for you without paying out 1000's in uni fees

No, they still do the nurse conversion - it's the midwifery diploma that has been stopped.

Midwifery training is like doing a full time job, 35 hours a week and then having to do all your studying, assignments on top of this.

You don't get any help with childcare costs as being a student doesn't count as working. Or at least I didn't. I left a job to do my training and at that time had got some sortof tax credit. Had a big income drop to train and increased childcare costs but the tax credits stopped as they said you're either in paid employment or you're a stay at home mum. No inbetween.

hells I know they've stopped the diploma but I'm pretty sure they've also stopped the conversion course too. As far as I know, last year was the last intake of nurses that would get the conversion option.

This is a really interesting thread, I've been looking into doing midwifery training myself. I couldn't apply for this year's intake, as I don't have enough of a sciency background. The admissions team suggested I do Access to Science, but I was going to call abck and ask if the OU Human Biology course would be allowed.

I really want to do this, but actually reading some of the (very realistic and honest) posts has me worried. I suppose I need to do some big thinking about the financial/time aspects of it. Or maybe shelve it until the dcs are a little bit older. I'm 34 shortly and just feel a bit like I need to do something very soon. Am a self employed hairdresser and while I like that work, I'm not passionate about it exactly.

Sorry OP for the hijack, but it's been quite helpful!

Possibly HV would suit me better, but wouldn't the midwifery course be more suited, rather than nursing? At least then I have my options open.

I'm applying for the nursing access college course, to start in September, and am going along to breast feeding support group on Tuesday to begin peer support training. Will start looking for a voluntary work placement tomorrow. Just got to brush up on Maths and English (learndirect) and I'm away!

Very excited!

Thank you everyone for taking the time to post!

my mum started training (direct entry with her 'A' levels from school, she did chemistry GCSE to provide evidence of recent study) when she was 42 & had an 8 month old baby! She was very very good at her job, but hated the bullying culture, the dreadful staffing levels, lack of safety, poor care etc. She did an MSc in Public Health when she was 50 & now, at 59, is a health visitor.

[not sure that's entirely relevant to the thread]

hyperotreti - your Mum's experience sounds very familiar, and it's that that grinds people down and, well, removes the joy from the job. I hope she is happier now with health visiting.

To those who have asked about PND/depression, back problems etc. I would say that PND wouldn't exclude training or employment, I have known of someone who trained as a midwife but then couldn't find employement with a local trust because of a history of repeated depression. WRT back problems, it would depend what the back problem was. Midwifery, like nursing I believe, does tend to be tough on backs generally.

Dalrymps They definately still do the conversion course, the man I spoke to at the college this evening told me about it.

I have applied for the access course, so fingers crossed

Can I just say I think it's a huge shame that there are so many women who have a huge passion for this and could/do bring so much to the job. It's a shame that they then feel reluctant to apply or quit the job having done all the trailing because the system and the government are all messed up These women are invaluable and women in labour need caring and passionate individuals to help them but these individuals are being driven to quit because of how rubbish everything has become.

Why can't the government make available the extra jobs they promised? Why can't there be a shake up of how maternity wards are run so midwifes can do the job they trained to happily and effectively? It just makes me so mad and very very sad that this is not seen as an important issue by the government

IneedABetter Ah that's good then! Thought I'd better mention it incase they had stopped it and someone planned out their training around that only to find it wasn't available any more

I would say get as much work experience as you can and see if the job is really what you think it is, I think many women go into the training as it looks so rosy on the telly. Unfortunately the state of the nhs means that it's not all its cracked up to be. Too much paper work, too many patients and not enough time is my sisters summary, she has been qualified 5 years now and is hospital based. I also know most of my local community midwifery team through my job as a breastfeeding peer supporter and from what I have seen in womens homes and on the wards it's not a job I would want. Delivering babies is only a very small (but amazing ) part of it. There is antenatal care, post natal care, breastfeeding support etc and you see some truly awful situations with mothers who are substance abusers, neglect, dv etc etc. if you feel that you have a true vocation for helping women through their pregnancy birth etc, then by all means go for it, the profession does need dedicated women to do the job, but it's hard work hard work and more hard work to get there so you will need commitment and a lot of family support to get there.

Thing is though Dalrymps, that the rality of life has ever been thus.

I mean to me, being a lawyer must be like an episode of LA Law crossed with Sherlock. Right? No. I'm sure it's a huge quanity of deadly boring meetings and most of the staff are ugly and have bad breath.

The reality of practising midwifery is that the pot of money isn't bottomless, we need to provide the safest service to the most people possible, offering the best value for money to the majority.

User Expectations range from high or actually non existant, people range from demanding to utterly disengaged, from highly motivated to not bothering to turn up as they were drunk. Some are entirely trusting of the service, others think you as the midwife are the chidl of satan (that gets you down). Some are just happy to get out of there with their baby, some are pleased to be in a calm warm ward aware from abusive partners, others complain they weren't offered a drink before breakfast.

It's really hard to make people happy.

It is actually impossible to deliver truly individualised care and survive the career.For as long as women birth, the service will be unpredictable, 24/7, frought with worry and anxiety.

I so so agree with CraggyBottom. Many many times a birth partner has smiled and said you have the most amazing job in the world. I always smile back and then, on occasion, go to the toilet and vomit from the sheer anxiety and fear over the dodgy fetal heart or concern over management or something. And I mean vomit. Everyone else in the room has been amazed and enjoying the ride of childbirth. I've been stood there thinking 'Oh Jesus please just come out' Sometimes for hours.

Nearly all shifts have a 'oh thank God for that' be that about your own woman or someone elses.

Oh and you are also not allowed to be much of a human. I mean, if you have a less 'coal face' job and are having a bad day, perhaps you can organise your day to help yourself out. I've known midiwves and Dr's stick a smile on and get on with it when they have just found out the cancer is back, their husband left them the night before, their son needed a kidney, house burgled in night.....the show goes on. And you can't let it affect how you treat your lady. Even if they are needing to vent and offload some pretty trivial stuff on to you.

T'is tough. T'is great though

But a huge generous spirit is required. And it has diddly squat to so with babies, so paeds, HV or neonatal nursing is certainly better for that.

What Dalrymps said!
I'd love to change my name to GoodDay

I would get careers advice and do research to find out what best-paid, reasonable hours options were in the area, with the fewest possible years' study.

Am mercenary like that.

(I was raised by an NHS professional, who qualified as mature student in 30s with 2 DC who told me to stay well clear!)

Great post worriedsilly.

worried I see what you're saying. It's a big shame it has to be that. I'm not surprised by a lot of what you have said. I think I have a pretty realistic view of what it will be like if I train. Obviously I will never really know until I am doing the job week in week out.

I work in an elderly residential home at the mo. It's not the same at all but I see some similarities in what you are saying. We have difficult patients and I get that 'can't please everyone all the time'.I have come home and cried after some shifts. I get through it by doing my best in the circumstances, that's all I can do. I'm hoping to apply the same attitude if I ever manage to train and become a midwife.

I was recently reading that although midwifery has always been hard and challenging etc, that lately it is the hardest it's ever been. Apparently women (and men) who have been midwives for years are leaving the progression because it is just unbearable. That's kinda what my rant was about, why has it got to this?!

I dunno Dalrymps - but I'm not sure how motivated I am to work my 3 12 hours shifts this weekend after thinking about it so much

Give me the good Worriedsilly... What's the great?

Sorry! Well, a friend of mine said to me that when I have a bad day to think that I will have made some people I care for happy and that's what I should focus on. So, keep thinking positive thoughts!

Hospital was super busy when I delivered my two but I still remember the lovely midwives who delivered my babies and were trying their best. You are making a difference!

Mine turned 6, 4 and 1 in my first term and I dearly wish I'd waited 1 or 2 years longer. Ploughing through though, great advice on this thread.